Feeling very down

alice's_mum

Can you check if you are entitled the Childcare part of Child Tax Credits, if there is only one of you working you may be entitled to something towards the nursery fees.

wishingonastar_3

hiya,

a bug hug to you all. not the best with advice etc, as each case is different, but i will say this, you and hubby nboth need to see a doctor if you are that depressed. i've been there myself, and i too saw anti-depressants as a failing. but once they kicked in and i realised how bad i was before, and how much time i had wasted with my dd, cos i was moping all the time about money worries, i realised it was the best thing i ever did. you will get there in the end with it all, even though there are many times it'll all feel too hard, just keep plugging away,

your in my thoughts and my prayers,

love

woas.

Lady_E

Dont get down about this - you can both come through to the other end-big hugs .
I had a couple of ideas so here goes-
1.Phone NTL plead poverty ,and say that your circumstances have changed and was there anything they could do for 6 months or so to reduce your bill
2.Contact Mortgage brokers ,ask if you could reduce your payments for a short time
3.Have you a spare room that you could take a student in for a short time?
4.Are the Child Tax credits people aware of the change in your circumstances , you may be entitled to more money?
5.Could either one of you consider a part time job perhaps working i a supermarket? I am thinking about discount and also staff shops , could help your budget.

I am sure others will post more ideas but as I read your post I sensed your worry about your OH , and you will now need to be strong for all of you .

Keep posting and let us know what is happening .

Lady E

sanfrancisco

I guess based on your figures that your mortgage is interest only, so you are effectively renting anyway. If I were you I would sell the house and pay back the debts and start again. If it is all making you feel suicidal you need to take some action to get back in control. You both sound like you are hard working and sensible and in 2-3 years you will be sorted again. Hang around here and turn into the best money saver there is! Please, it is only money, you still have each other and that is what is most important.

I have done the deep in debt !!!! sO I know how stressful it can be, and I have not said any of this lightly. Also, think how much more of each other you'll be able to see, if you lived near to where you work, and you'll save money too!!

calleyw

Taking Anti depressants has nothing to do with failure. They are medicine just like you take when you have infection. They are just medicine for the mind.

As you husband is at Uni could your son not go to child care there. It tend to be a little cheaper. I know you said that it needed to give two months notice but it is worth looking in to.

Also check out everything that you can claim WTC and CTC.

You are both under a lot of pressure and have been for a few years.

All the best.


Yours


Calley

odLott

Can't really help you on the financial side, though I think selling and renting somewhere closer to your husband's place of work sounds good.

I just wanted to add that you should tell your husband that admitting that you are feeling suicidal is actually showing strength. Not doing anything about it would have been a failure which unfortunately happens all too often.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Hi Tjac,

Reading this thread and your other thread (re your decision to sell the house).

It sounds like you and your OH are having a tough time of it.

In times like these try to focus on what you do have . It sounds like your husband has a great wife, plus a child. Remind him that the money is not the be all and end all.

The most important is that you have each other, money cannot buy many of the things you have.

It sounds like your OH is down, tell him how much he means to you and that he is a great husband / father etc and that is the greatest success of all.

If selling the house clears your debts and removes the stress. Then do it.

You will then have a clean slate to move forward from.

You can always regroup and buy a house later. Its not the be all and end all.

Millions of people rent all their lives and are perfectly happy.

If you regroup, refocus, stabilise your situation I am sure you can get back on the ladder in the future and as first time buyers / chain free could get a good deal.


Let your OH know how much you are proud of him etc etc. and that you don't judge him by the amount of pounds in his pocket but on how he is as a person. Tell him about all the positive things in your life. All the good times that you both have had in the past together and will again in the future. Nobody can take that away from you.

If he is really down get him to pop along to the GP for advice, anti depressants may help or counselling. The more he talks about his feelings / the more support he gets, the better.


Keep positive.Keep posting. Keep strong and supporting each other and as a couple you WILL come out the other side of this emotionally and financially stronger.

I really wish you well.

*zippy*

Hi tjak

Have you claimed a reduction in your council tax because your husband is in full time education?


((Hugs)) zippy

mintymoneysaver

Is that life insurance monthly? if so it seems extortionate...

lynzpower

good point minty, mine is 23 quid and im a smoker, so i know im higher than others!