Feeling very down

tjak

Don't think there is much in the way of advice, just need to offload ...

Two years ago my husband and I ran a company together. We expanded too fast and had to go into a CVA while the company assets were sold. This is still going on, as one of the major creditors cannot agree their account and the calculation of our debts pre and post CVA. WHen it does finally get agreed, we each have a personal guarantee to cover the outstanding debts. This will be around £10k but might be more.

We had to move on from that company, so my husband decided (with my full support, to go to Uni to retrain. He is now coming to the end of Second year after many struggles, and has been doing well. He got a pretty good grant/loan in first year of about £10k, but this dropped to about £2k this year. He had to retrain as he used to be a plasterer and physically couldn't continue. We then had pubs and couldn't face doing that again. He works part time while at college and full time in holidays.

In my wisdom I became self employed again, in financial services and in a regulated role. This means I need to declare all finances (debts and assets) regularly in order to maintain my competency. However, 18mths on, it was not working out. My income was never enough (or rarely) to cover out outgoings. I decided to go for an employed role with a bank which I should have started today.

Our debts have constantly increased from a zero starting point to about £30k when I stopped being self employed. In order to get out of my contract I had to pay £7500 up front to be able to sign my contract with the bank. this has obviously increased our debt to £37500.

My job should have started today, but there has been a delay in processing my application, which I am panicking about.

My husband said this morning he is suicidal, and has been for a while. We have a 2 year old son and I am barely holding it together.

I have thought about Payplan etc, but I cannot enter into these type of agreements and still maintain my job (if I ever get started). The longer we have no income, the higher our debts are going to get.

Just running out of ideas ... thanks for reading this.

My SOA, if it helps

Monthly
Optimax -£90.00 (laser treatment for eyes, finishes September)
Scot Power -£89.50 (gas and elec, capped, budget plan)
TV License -£8.51
Mobile -£20
Nursery fees -455.00
Southern Water -£28.00 (metered)
Council tax Tax -£96.00
Council tax Arrears -£110.00
Mortgage -£719.67
Cahoot -£300.00
A&L Loan -£302.29
House INsurance -£31.43
Life and critical illness -£49.75
Life and critical illness -£60.75
Petrol -£150.00
car Insurance -£24.65
TV/Phone/Broadband -£32.99
food -£200.00
-£2,716.88

Outstanding Debts
Amount
A&L Loan £15,700.00
Cahoot £19,959.00
Optimax £450.00
B&H Arrears £550.00
Overdraft £2680

We had thought about selling the house and moving somewhere cheaper, and closer to OH's work. He has an hour and half commute each way, and starts work at 7.50am.
Our mortgage is £185k and we could probably sell for £240k. The cheapest we have seen to buy for in that area is about £170k. We have thought about renting as well, even short term.

Any thoughts would help.
Thanks

lynzpower

hello there

When do your council tax arrears get fianlly paid off?

Do you really need the TV?

Your food bill is high :eek: check out the OSD board for eating on a budget

How does childcare work, your paying nursery fees? BUt am i right in thinking at least one of you guys is at home full time

Emmzi

If you are both suicidal, I think you need to stop, take stock, and get some help.

Maybe you can't go for debt counselling/ help in the job you are in now; but it sounds like maybe a change of job (even if it means a lower income) might be better for you mentally. At the moment, work depends on money being sorted, and money ain't sorted.

There's nothing wrong with taking a pause, and starting over.

I would say, go see doctor - both of you - for depression. Your kid needs you healthy!

Then go see a debt counsellor for an initial meeting, just to find out what the options are. Maybe you end up taking a job at a lot less than you are now, but can get some help to clear debts and feel more at peace.

Be sure that what you are hanging on to is worth it. Money is less important than health.

tjak

Hi
Council tax arrears clear in July
We don't have an aeriel and are unable to receive Freeview in our area, so NTL is the only way to get TV. As we don't go out at all, it is the remaining luxury and the cheapest package.

CHildcare - normally we are both out working full time (me in office, and OH between college, studying and working). Our nursery needs 2 months notice to remove our son, no matter what circumstances.

£200 for food is an estimate, we normally come in closer to £120/£150. This is for everything, all cleaning/laundry products, feeding 2 dogs and us 3. We don't buy any ready meals, and we make our own bread / pizza dough and are vegetarian anyway.

beverleyhills

:hello:
Sorry to hear that your are both feeling so low. Give each other a big hug :grouphug: and hang on in there for the sake of your son. He is very precious.

There will be people better qualified than me, along soon, to give you the advice you are asking for.

My very best wishes and hope you feel better later today.

lynzpower

tjak

If you have already looked at all the cutbacks, then sorry for pointing out the obvious!

Sending you a massive hug and hoping you feel better soon
Lynz
x

*Louise*

Just wanted to wish you both the best - if your partner is feeling suicidal, then please get him to see a doctor...stress can have awful consequences.

How much longer does his course have to go?

tjak

Thanks, he has made an appointment for Thursday, but sees anti depressants as a further mark of failure. I will try to make sure he goes, but just take things a day at a time.

His course finishes in another year. We have looked at him finishing now, but he wouldn't be able to get into the jobs he wants and would never be able to earn well.

Thanks

beverleyhills

tjak wrote:

Hi

We don't have an aeriel and are unable to receive Freeview in our area, so NTL is the only way to get TV. As we don't go out at all, it is the remaining luxury and the cheapest package.

As an aged one, who grew up in the days before TV and only heard the radio occassionally as parents couldn't afford a battery for it, there is a lot a person can do to entertain themselves on a budget. Think about it while you are taking stock.

tjak

I appreciate your thoughts, but a combined line rental, broadband and TV for £30 is as low as we can get. If I removed the TV element, (we need broadband for my OH to access research for his studies online), I would only save £4 pm. Not enough to begin to make it worth my while. Sorry, I need some kind of distraction from my thoughts and my life.

save-alot

tjak wrote:

Hi
Council tax arrears clear in July
We don't have an aeriel and are unable to receive Freeview in our area, so NTL is the only way to get TV. As we don't go out at all, it is the remaining luxury and the cheapest package.

If you cancel, you can connect your coax connection to the NTL outlet and tune in to the analogue signal which gives the normal TV plus a few others, includes discovery channel.