Time off to look after wife and kids

Debt_Free_Chick

CrustyMcMuffin wrote: »

Going in late/leaving early isn't an option due to the distance I live from the office, but that's another story....

I'm really not expecting my employer to 'do everything', I've already asked them what options are available to me with regards to home working, flexi hours etc and I've been told to make a proposal with no input from them about what is likely to be approved. I wanted to see if there was any legislation in place for parents in situations like this, but it appears not. I've already offered to work from home, take some annual leave and if need be take some unpaid leave.

She's only been waiting 6 weeks for the operation, when I booked my holidays for earlier in the year I wasn't aware she'd need an operation.

I'm not quite sure why some of you are getting the impression I am expecting my company to pay me for all the time off. As I've already said I've offered to use up what annual leave I have and/or work from home. The kids are at school and nursery so I can do some hours during the day and some in the evening too but be there in case my wife needs help with anything.

I - and maybe others - may have been mislead by the statement in your first post that unpaid leave was not an option.

Is working from home feasible? Can you really do your job from home? Do you have a company laptop configured to securely access the company network remotely? Does your employer even offer this facility?

If so, then you need to put together a proposal that demonstrates you can do your job from home, but I strongly suggest that your proposal includes being in the office for two days a week - could friends not help out here? Will your wife need constant care or just someone to pop in a few times a day?

It's possible that your employer has never faced this situation before and therefore can not tell you what they would approve. Or it could be that they are giving you the opportunity to construct something that will work for both you and them. I don't think you should necessarily view their request (that you make a proposal with no input from them) as a bad thing.

HTH

flea72

will she be needing 24/hr care for the full 3 weeks? or is it more a case of she will be incapacitated and unable to deal with the children, rather than needing to be in a supervised environment?

contact social services and see where you stand, the hospital can only discharge your wife, if she is able to return home. if you state you cannot have her back, then they will have to make alternative arrangements for her

You have to decide whether the loss in pay is do-able, or whether you returning to work as much as possible, whilst paying out for extra childcare, might help the situation

Flea

CrustyMcMuffin

Caroline73 wrote: »

I'll take a wild stab and in the dark and say it was probably this comment,

"I have the option of taking the time off unpaid but that's not really practical due to having things to pay for every month!"

That's not the same as me expecting my company to pay me while I am off though now is it? All I said is it wasn't practical, and its not, that's why I'd rather work from home which is practical and doable. We have plenty people who work permanently from home.

She wont need constant care but I live a 90 minute train ride from the office so cant just go in once they are dropped off, and leave early to pick them up as this would leave me with about 3 hours in the office, and that's assuming someone can take the young un for the afternoon. We're looking into the costs of putting the youngest in nursery full time and the eldest to an after school club.

Really though, my original question has been answered in that there is nothing in place saying my work have to offer flexible working in these circumstances, so we'll have to sort out some other arrangement.

Thanks to those of you who gave helpful replies.

barnaby-bear

Caroline73 wrote: »

I'll take a wild stab and in the dark and say it was probably this comment,

"I have the option of taking the time off unpaid but that's not really practical due to having things to pay for every month!"

The OP may not be interested int he unpaid option... however for future googles of this thread - others may find it useful to know they do have the *right* to unpaid leave
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Moneyandworkentitlements/Parentalleaveandpay/DG_10029416

Debt_Free_Chick

barnaby-bear wrote: »

The OP may not be interested int he unpaid option... however for future googles of this thread - others may find it useful to know they do have the *right* to unpaid leave
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Moneyandworkentitlements/Parentalleaveandpay/DG_10029416

I wasn't sure if this situation qualified or not ... still not entirely sure

But it requires the employee to give their employer 21 days notice and the employer can still refuse the request by postponing it for business reasons.

There are no circumstances in which the OP is entitled to take three weeks off or entitled to home/flexible working to cover this situation, as far as I'm aware.

The emergency time off for dependants ought to allow a couple of days and the employer has (generously) offered three - but this is intended to allow employees an opportunity to make arrangements for ongoing care.

A reasonable, open and negotiative stance is the only way to handle this, I believe.

honeypop

LittleVoice wrote: »

if our GPs are handing out sick notes for individuals when it is some other person who is sick then perhaps they need refresher training on what the notes are for. I find this absolutely extraordinary.

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I agree with LV that this doctor is behaving in an extraordinary fashion; it shows that they can't all be trusted to be honest when it comes to certificating sick leave!

I don't see how it's extraordinary... the doctor didn't lie on the certificate - it stated he was signed off from work to provide 24hr care due to post partum complications, and it was 2 different doctors (and not from the same surgery) that provided the notes, both saying that it is quite normal for the man to be signed off from work to care for the wife and baby following a complicated birth that needs the mum to have complete rest and therefore needs a 'carer' on hand 24/7.

Sorry OP to take this off topic, I just wanted to explain the situation that these 2 commented on.

CrustyMcMuffin

No problem taking it off topic, there seems to be quite a few opinionated people posting on this thread so fight your corner.

For those who are at all interested, I've managed to get 2 weeks off using a combination of special leave, annual leave and working from home. Anything beyond that and I'll have to take it unpaid. Coal and oranges for the kids this Christmas then....

eckythump

CrustyMcMuffin wrote: »

No problem taking it off topic, there seems to be quite a few opinionated people posting on this thread so fight your corner.

For those who are at all interested, I've managed to get 2 weeks off using a combination of special leave, annual leave and working from home. Anything beyond that and I'll have to take it unpaid. Coal and oranges for the kids this Christmas then....

Glad you got something sorted,I hope your wifes surgery goes well and she recovers quickly.
don't forget if you need to pay for extra childcare and you recieve the childcare component of tax credits to let them know your annual costs have gone up.

Oldernotwiser

honeypop wrote: »

I don't see how it's extraordinary... the doctor didn't lie on the certificate - it stated he was signed off from work to provide 24hr care due to post partum complications, and it was 2 different doctors (and not from the same surgery) that provided the notes, both saying that it is quite normal for the man to be signed off from work to care for the wife and baby following a complicated birth that needs the mum to have complete rest and therefore needs a 'carer' on hand 24/7.

Sorry OP to take this off topic, I just wanted to explain the situation that these 2 commented on.

You shouldn't get a personal sick note for looking after someone else; that just isn't what they're for!

My goodness, how many people will we have off sick if everyone with caring responsibilies can claim sick pay for it?

SomeBozo

CrustyMcMuffin wrote: »

For those who are at all interested, I've managed to get 2 weeks off using a combination of special leave, annual leave and working from home. Anything beyond that and I'll have to take it unpaid. Coal and oranges for the kids this Christmas then....

I think you got a cracking result there.

There is no obligation to give you PAID time off to look after your wife.

Most companies have a "special leave" policy that allows a few days off to arrange care but not to actually give it.

But your remark about "oranges and coal for the kids" seems to suggest that you are still not happy with the deal you got and still a bit bitter.

Bozo