"disposing of assets" (in order to reduce care home charges....)

Errata

I guess the point about choosing to do, or not do, something is that individuals choose different things. Some choices may appear totally insane to other people, and that happens at whichever point people are in their lives.
I wouldn't wish to live in a world in which everyone has to have the same value systems and the same world view.
We may not agree with others choices, but there really is something about looking to yourself first before disparaging what others do. Peace and love to everyone. And why not ?

Oldernotwiser

Errata wrote: »

I guess the point about choosing to do, or not do, something is that individuals choose different things. Some choices may appear totally insane to other people, and that happens at whichever point people are in their lives.
I wouldn't wish to live in a world in which everyone has to have the same value systems and the same world view.
We may not agree with others choices, but there really is something about looking to yourself first before disparaging what others do. Peace and love to everyone. And why not ?

I'm all for tolerance but not when people's personal choices are intended to make sure they receive money from the public purse.

Savvy_Sue

Oh absolutely Errata, the world would be very boring if it was full of SDWs and Aunty Margarets, and to be fair my parents do eat out - alone and with us - far more than we ever used to, and even pay for meals on wheels once a week!

But they still don't really know what to do with all their money, and I just wish they would either give it all away now (not to me, btw!) or spend it on themselves, rather than saving it. Especially as I'm co-executor, and the more they've spent on themselves the less work we shall have! :rotfl:

margaretclare

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Oh absolutely Errata, the world would be very boring if it was full of SDWs and Aunty Margarets, and to be fair my parents do eat out - alone and with us - far more than we ever used to, and even pay for meals on wheels once a week!

But they still don't really know what to do with all their money, and I just wish they would either give it all away now (not to me, btw!) or spend it on themselves, rather than saving it. Especially as I'm co-executor, and the more they've spent on themselves the less work we shall have!

No, the world would not be boring if more were like SDW and me, for the simple reason that SDW and I are not alike! While I like visiting other countries I would not like to live in one as SDW does, but that is her choice. There is no shortage of ways to spend your money, and those ways amount to an infinite variety. I would not like to go on a cruise, for instance, but many people do. Nor do I like coach tours - again, many people do, so there is no boredom there. The essential principle is a determination to live life to the full, to make the most of every moment, because life is just too darned short.

I also get a bit irritated by the constant repetition of 'hard-earned cash'. I didn't earn my cash in any easy way, nor did DH, so 'hard-earned cash' is a tautology.

Savvy_Sue

Whoops! Sorry, the only comparison I was intending was your willingness to spend your money on yourselves rather than passing on an inheritance to the next generation!

seven-day-weekend

Errata wrote: »

I guess the point about choosing to do, or not do, something is that individuals choose different things. Some choices may appear totally insane to other people, and that happens at whichever point people are in their lives.
I wouldn't wish to live in a world in which everyone has to have the same value systems and the same world view.
We may not agree with others choices, but there really is something about looking to yourself first before disparaging what others do. Peace and love to everyone. And why not ?

Oh yes, of course I agree they have every right to make that choice. I was just saying I will never understand it.

margaretclare

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Whoops! Sorry, the only comparison I was intending was your willingness to spend your money on yourselves rather than passing on an inheritance to the next generation!

It is more a question of which is the priority. I am not averse to letting another generation have what remains - it won't be the next one but the one after that - but I am strongly of the opinion that we only have this one life, that it should be lived to the full and that there is no point in making oneself miserable, making more difficulties than need be, if spending a little money can alleviate the situation. The young ones can have what is left, if anything, but first and foremost, I earned it, it's mine!

mumps

Sometimes spending a bit of money can extend life and make it more enjoyable. I know a chap in his 80s and he goes on a at least two cruises every winter. He comes back with a spring in his step and looking and feeling healthier. He gets out of the worst of our winter to somewhere warmer, eats better (don't know if thats the sea air, company or just not having to cook for himself) and it all does him good. He earned the money, he saved it and I think he should be able to spend it on himself without criticism or judgement from anyone else (including whoever decides if spending is appropriate.)

margaretclare

mumps wrote: »

Sometimes spending a bit of money can extend life and make it more enjoyable. I know a chap in his 80s and he goes on a at least two cruises every winter. He comes back with a spring in his step and looking and feeling healthier. He gets out of the worst of our winter to somewhere warmer, eats better (don't know if that's the sea air, company or just not having to cook for himself) and it all does him good. He earned the money, he saved it and I think he should be able to spend it on himself without criticism or judgement from anyone else (including whoever decides if spending is appropriate.)

Good for him. If he's on his own, he meets people and he gets the benefit of being in a social situation with companionship where people are cheerful, relaxing and enjoying themselves. If that's what he enjoys doing, fantastic. What would he do otherwise, battling through the English winter on his own, keeping his money in the bank because 'I've got to leave it to the family'?

You always hear these words 'hard-earned money'. Well, I don't know of anyone at all who earned their money in an 'easy' way. I don't know anyone with inherited wealth, and even the ones I've heard of had responsibilities, a huge inherited mansion to keep up out of the money inherited. I'm glad I don't have that!

We all worked hard, DH and I have almost a century in the workplace between us. None of that work was easy, all the money we earned was 'hard-earned'. We're now able to make the kind of choices that allow us some enjoyment and relaxation, and I agree with mumps, no one should be able to come round here telling us what we should and shouldn't do with it. If anyone ever did tell us what spending was 'appropriate' they'd go away with a very large flea in the ear, I can tell you that!

sagalout1954

Perhaps a wise investment might be a reasonable financial advisor who can help him dispose of his cash in the appropriate manner. Giving away and spending up to the maximum allowed each year.

Afraid I TOTALLY feel that there are those who DO work hard all their lives, pay their taxes and save what they can for their old age, and those who don't. Yes, I'm sure they would all have 'liked to' but for whatever reasons they didn't/haven't/couldn't. So they get to 'take out' what others have put in and I for one don't blame your FiL for feeling resentful.

Get some proper advice so he's not depriving himself deliberately of assets and don't give a stuff about those who think he should pay for everything - they'll be the ones with 'valid reasons' for taking out what he's put in!