Help. At my wits end with the neighbour's dog!

screamer

OK, so am I doing right by writing a letter or shall I just move house? I really really don't want to upset this woman any more than she already is, and basically if it does come bite me on the bum, I'm already nervous enough about living here, I don't want to get to the stage where I'm too scared to leave the house again. If some of you wonder what I mean, please read my other posts. I am asking out of desperation, not to be nasty or spiteful. Cheepskate is NOT a troll, which is why I ask. I'm confused, and upset, and now I really don't know what to do.

taxi97w

screamer wrote:

I do not need a special letterbox to keep my postman's fingers safe. Does that not say something?

Not meaning to be contentious, but....

I doubt whether a Jack Russel would be tall enough to reach a letterbox.:o

screamer

thanks taxi. Honestly, I'm a nervous wreck right now, but that made me laugh. Thank you.

My letterbox is at the bottom of the door :-)

foreign_correspondent

taxi97w wrote: »

Not meaning to be contentious, but....

I doubt whether a Jack Russel would be tall enough to reach a letterbox.:o

you may be surprised, they are tenacious little devils and tend to be quite athletic!

Screamer, I have to say, I do not know what to advise really... you have gone down the route of speaking to the rneighbour nicely about it, and it has not made a difference. I think it is wise to keep things friendly at this stage, and it may be worth pursuing this approach again. As you went for a walk together, perhaps you can suggest that you would be happy to go again with them, and then mention that it is really tiring you...

Alternatively, you could ask your OH to approach her and say something on the lines of 'I wondered if there was anything you could do to quieten your dog a little in the day - my partner does not want to upset you so she won't say anything, but I know she is finding his barking really wearing, and stressful, and her health (epilepsy) is suffering as a result - naturally, I know it must be hard to think of ways to deal with this, but I am really worried for my GF, so I just thought I would mention it to you - if you have already tried, and it has not been possible to quieten him, maybe a good dog trainer could advise?' (It would be useful at this stage to have the details of a reputable local trainer who has worked on this before to pass on, in case it is appropriate)

I think if you broach this with her in a suportive and helpful manner, it may well be better than causing tensions over it. My neighbour occasionally has her mum's old dog who suffers from seperation anxiety, (like the dog here), and it barked continually every time they were out. As I work from home, it drove me mad, so I suggested the dog come and sit round here when she went out, with me and my dog, which worked better for me than listening to the incessant barking of the poor thing!

Is the dog walked enough in general? Do they walk it in the mornings - some dogs when they have had a wak are far calmer and ready to have a nap! Is their dog in a position where it looks out of the windown and barks at passers by? Maybe they could move it to a different room?

Zazen999

Can you have the dog at yours during the day?

screamer

Ok, round 2.

It's impossible to have the dog here. Firstly, this dog is a lot larger and more powerful than I am. I couldn't handle it, as in literally handle it. Secondly, this dog refuses to be nice to other animals. My pooch quite happily plays with other dogs on the street, but this dog isn't allowed out without his muzzle and lead. He has chased my dog while snarling and growling and my OH had to stop the dog getting my dog. Apparently, the alsatian is scared of men so that was easy, he just stood in front of the dog and the dog backed off. It didn't work with me, he ran rings round me quite literally. If you want to know how he got out in the first place, they have a barn door and the dog cleared it. I refuse to put my dog in danger if the owner won't do anything about it.

She works full time and has 2 kids (10 and 12) and the kids go to their grandparents. I have lightly suggested that the dog go with the kids, or the grandparents come to their house to look after the kids but apparently it's "inconvenient for them." We tried going for a walk together but by the time I got home my dog was on edge and I was shaking like a leaf. This dog zones out, just doesn't listen, which is what makes me scared and nervous of him in the first place.

Now, about my OH. I will suggest he does what is recommended but his latest suggestion is that we move house. He doesn't like seeing me like this and thinks that would be the best option. I'm glad I've got him on my side, but I also don't think he has it in him to try and talk to someone that doesn't allow you to get a word in edgeways, and is extremely condescending because she's older than us and thinks she knows best! (not much older I may add, only 2 years older than OH)

I will have a word though and see what happens. I'm all up for advice and have done everything recommended so far!

Still haven't stopped crying though! This is really getting to me. My pooch has just gone out to the loo and has literally gone bounding up to the house with his heckles up and growling and snarling. In 3 years I have NEVER known him to react or behave like that!

And to answer you FC, no, they don't take him out for walks either in the morning or in the evening. I've seen him out 3 times in 6 months of living here, and other neighbours have commented on that too. I think there are only about 3 houses on the whole street that don't have pets so it is a regular conversation!!

screamer

And to answer another question of FC's. And thank you btw for your expertise and common sense. The dog lives in a back to back terrace. The only windows he can see out of are on the front of the house, all 2 of them. He alternates between the kitchen and the living room, running between one and the other!

ZiggyStardust_2

I really feel for you. Definitely sounds like the dog is cooped up for too long (for a big dog as well!) but this isn't your problem and you are obviously suffering because of it which really isn't fair.

I hope it gets sorted out x

foreign_correspondent

the dog may well be happier in one room, sometimes if dogs have the run of too much space they feel under pressure to guard it all, and end up, as you describe, running from room to room barking... I wonder if the owner has tried restricting him to one room, preferably without windows overlooking the street to patrol!

There are other things that could be done, such as exercising the dog more, giving him a kong dog toy with food stuffed in it to occupy him for some of the time, etc.. but they need the co-operation of the owner, and it sounds as if she may not be able to tackle this right now...

It is a tricky one!

screamer

Well, thank you everyone for helping me keep it together.

Now I have got to figure out how to tell this woman all this stuff without her thinking I'm out to cause any more grief for her. She really isn't having an easy time right now and I know she could do without the pressure, but my main concern is my own health. Last week I was wracking my brains trying to think what car I would like to drive, today I have said goodbye to any hope of being able to drive for at least another year. I'm gutted.