DIL is homeless with baby

shellsmithcat

Can anyone give me any suggestions I really don't know what to do best for my DIL (sons ex-girlfriend) and my 1 yr old grandaughter. I will try and keep it short. My son and she split up when she was pregnant. My son now lives in a hostel (MH issues). My DIL (as i will refer to her as) was engaged to another fella. They had very recently been housed in a property by the council - but they have now split up (he was using her to get a place so he could get custody of his daughter -which he does not yet have - and might not even get). The council state they won't rehouse her as her name is on the tenancy - he won't take her name off - and won't let her back into the property. I can't have her living here full time with a baby - (selfish reasons really ) I work shifts - including nights - found it stressful when she lived here before she was pregnant- don't want to commit to it as unknown how long she would be here for. Her mum will let her stay with her - however her mum has previously beaten her up (thats why she was living with me before) and she also wants more money in rent than DIL gets in benefits. We can't afford a deposit or rent in advance for her to rent privately. Really don't know what to do. Would be quite happy for her to stay with me if steps could be made to remove her ex from the property - but can this be done - I really don't know what to do - I feel so guilty because i won't say yes - am really crying as this is really upsetting me - can anyone help.
Michelle

JPS29

Hi Shell,

As you say you would be happy for her to stay with you if steps were taken to remove her ex...

As your granddaughter would be staying there too could she not just stay with you free whilst she saves up her benefits to allow her to move into a new private rent?

Also some LL's let people move in with no deposit as long as they sign into a guarantee type scheme, costs a few quid extra each month for the tenant, but gives the LL peace of mind as if your DIL breaks damages anything the LL is covered by the guarantee, but they WILL pursue your DIL for the costs.

Might be a lot less stress this way and probably just as quick as getting the ex out.

HTH

misspoppy

Hi

you could call shelter for advice, I would have thought she could remove her own name from the tenancy and wouldn't need the ex to agree to it.

shellsmithcat

I would be quite happy for her to stay here rent free - just would not want it to be for too long - it did cause a lot of stress for my husband, daughter and I when she lived here before. Also when she stayed before it was only supposed to be for a little while and it ended up being almost a year.

JPS29

so set a time scale.

Along the lines of

" I will let you stay here free until you have saved up enough to move into private rent. This will cost xxxx (do your research in your local area) and to make sure it all go's smoothly I need you to give me xxx from your benefits each week, otherwise I cant help you"

This way it gets rid of the guilt you are feeling BUT makes sure she doesnt overstay her welcome. Families can be a pain, but only if you let them;)

shellsmithcat

I have just spoken to her on the phone - all may be not as it seems - she is going to contact CAB - however as I've tried in the past - constant ringing and she can't get through - i have tried today to same problem - I suggested to her about getting his name off the tenancy and seeking legal advice and DIL stated she did not want to live there anyway as it is in a village away from people and a drunk lives downstairs - not feeling quite as guilty now - as appears that I might be being taken slightly for a ride. I have told her she can come and stay here if she sees a solicitor to arrange for him to be taken off the tenancy and if it looks like she has every right to get that done - until it is done and she can move back in - so just need to wait and see what outcome is - really can't think of anything else - and although i love my grandaughter to bits - I cannot offer her a perm - or long term temp home.

misspoppy

http://www.shelter.org.uk/

Check out these people and call them they deal with housing advice.

Whilst you will want to protect your grandaughter it might be worth helping DIL to help herself or she will always run to you to fight her battles.

shellsmithcat

Thanks for that have told DIL to give shelter a ring on the number on their website. It seems though in some respects that because her mum has offered her to stay there nobody willing to help - as technically she is not homeless -even though mum is a cow. Does anyone know if Social Services can help with this sort of thing.

shellsmithcat

Also in regards to her living here rent free and saving up a deposit for somewhere private - that would be fine - but council are saying as her name is on the tenancy they would not pay housing benefit for her - so she would not be able to get anywhere as would get no housing benefit - however i told her I am sure she should be able to sign a form / to seek legal advice in regards to getting her name removed - if they can't get him out.

Jowo_2

shellsmithcat wrote: »

Does anyone know if Social Services can help with this sort of thing.

As far as I can tell, she has a housing issue because she already has a place of residence and can't be rehoused while she holds an existing tenancy. She has been given advice on how to remove herself from the tenancy and has the potential for interim accommodation with her family or family-in-law.

The housing department have a statutory obligation to house the homeless and prioritise mother's with children. She isn't homeless by their definition.

What would you expect Social Services to do differently from the housing department?

shellsmithcat

Really don't know thats why I was asking everyones advice LOL. But I suppose I was thinking along the lines of she is 20 years old with a 1 year old baby and she has a mother that has previously beaten her up - but if she was to go to social services she would have to tell them about her mother and i'm not sure she would want to do that - even though police were called at the time - so they probably would not be in a position to help