The ultimate incentive proposed! Buying a house, a wedding, and staying debt free.

Cinny91

Birdie85 wrote: »

It's probably because he's the 'Baby' that your parents are spoiling him like that

Speaking as the 'baby' from another family, I think Birdie has hit the nail on the head!

I agree with Poolie - maybe you should have a proper sit down and a talk with your mum. If you could show her all your budgets and saving targets ect maybe she'd understand a bit more?

Personally though, I think it's really unfair she's putting this extra pressure on you and NIM when you're working your bums off trying to save for a wedding and a house. But then like I said, maybe she doesn't fully understand the pressure you and NIM are under with savings?

Tete_en_l'Air

Dinah93 wrote: »

Asked really lightly and she sent back a really angry response saying they had to give my brother spending money at uni so they had less spare money not more.

Oooh, that's so infuriating! I'd be tempted to move out and rent on pricinciple that I wouldn't want to fund his drinking which is basically what it'll be!

I don't know what the answer is. Can you put your foot down and say "We'll keep paying you £xx per month but it's going off the card" - you did her a huge favour by doing that anyway. Big hugs, horrible situation

Dinah93

I have shown her my budgets, my spreadsheets etc, she thinks things are too tight and we'll never manage to save a deposit and for a wedding in a year. To be fair she thinks I'm mental with money. And she might be right about doing it in a year. Almost certainly will be if NIMs family don't have a wedding fund like he thinks they do. But we WANT to be married next year and are prepared to work hard to get there, not have to live at home 2 more years, we want some time as husband and wife before we start trying for a family.

But my dad listens to me, and then he talks to her, and she gets in a strop and pouts.

She has emailed back and sulkily said she will find a way, but we'll see what happens. Also I don't think my 'rational' response to that will have helped calm her down as it basically points out that her memory is selective too, I worked very hard and yes they brought my groceries sometimes, but I didn't relly on that, and its not her place to try to make up for the fact the government have raised the fees since I went.

Birdie85

Hmm, it really seems like a case of Rock-Dinah-Hard Place! Is there absolutely no getting through to your brother? Considering how hard up your parents are he doesn't seem to understand how important all this stuff is, maybe if you show him your spreadsheets and so on he may realise what a strain he's putting on everybody by being too lazy to work!

Poolie

The government has more than increased the fees. Students now have to take a loan to cover their tutition fees. Certainly didn't need a loan for that in my day, only to cover maintenance. If I had a loan for tutition fees as well. I would be looking at more like another 10-15 years to clear the loan rather than the approximately 5 years I have left (obviously guessing salary and interest rates).

Students now certainly leave with a lot more debt from Uni.

3 years of maintenance loan - 15,000 approx
3 years of tutition fees - 10,000 approx
Total before interest - 25,000 approx - there is a grant available about 8718 for 3 years.

£25,000 is about the start for current graduate salaries. Obviously students only pay back £75 per month from this which is going to no way clear the interest (once if goes back up from 0% in 2010).

Dinah93

I've done it all. I might be between rock and hard place, but his head is firmly in the sand. He really is my mothers son.

Well I'm cheered a bit, NIM and I could get a decent rate mortgage from HSBC (my bank so first I looked at) for up to £154k, if we save £25k. Thats do able. And we can afford the repayments. Although I would prefer a 5 year fix.

Dinah93

Poolie wrote: »

The government has more than increased the fees. Students now have to take a loan to cover their tutition fees. Certainly didn't need a loan for that in my day, only to cover maintenance. If I had a loan for tutition fees as well. I would be looking at more like another 10-15 years to clear the loan rather than the approximately 5 years I have left (obviously guessing salary and interest rates).

Students now certainly leave with a lot more debt from Uni.

3 years of maintenance loan - 15,000 approx
3 years of tutition fees - 10,000 approx
Total before interest - 25,000 approx - there is a grant available about 8718 for 3 years.

£25,000 is about the start for current graduate salaries. Obviously students only pay back £75 per month from this which is going to no way clear the interest (once if goes back up from 0% in 2010).

Not argueing they come out with a lot more, what I am argueing with is my parents trying to cover the difference between his loan and my loan 'to make it fair'... when they can't afford to! Surely its also not fair he got his phone paid for for 5 years when I didn't, 2 extra years of pocket money, and more to the point - I can't get married because I'm saddled with their debt and he will actually get help towards it from them! Surely thats not fair either!

To me yes he will have a bigger student loan, but they will help him towards his wedding and first house and car, so surely that more than balances out the fact they paid the same on our uni?!

Birdie85

Why is he getting wedding help and not you? Am I being dim and missing something?

Flower08

Sorry your feeling rubbish this morning Dinah. Its a really horrid situation. OH and i learnt the hard way that family and money/credit is not a good mix. About £800 of our HSBC CC balance is OHs dads debt. We lent him the credit card for an 'emergency' when we eventually got the card back there was £800 on it - including cash withdrawels with a rediculous interest rate. He gives us £30 a month but it infuriates me that we're trying to pay it off quicker and he pays the bare minimum.

I dont know what to suggest though, its a horrible situation. I dont even think of that £800 debt as his dads anymore which is pretty bad.

Dinah93

They're in an IVA Birdie, by the time he comes to get married it will be finished. Still another 3 years left at £1225 a month.