Worried about my friend, relationship and pregnancy problems

cheap_charlie

WorriedForFriend wrote: »

Her second was taken straight off her after birth. Both those children are with their fathers. She has been clean for about 18 months, but still has mental health problems, misusing prescription medication and generally unstable.

If she is misusing prescription medication she is not clean.

dizzybuff

both mw and health visitors are aware of her history , when they do the booking appointment something will be on her notes. the fact she is a recovering addict will alert the mw to inform ss. if she has mental health problems ( presumably stemming from drug use ) mw will also be aware and inform ss that a certain blar blar has had a pregnancy confirmed.

dizzybuff

any form of drug misuse still makes her a user . this could damage the baby. I would report her myself..

gizmo111

Midwife will inform the hospital social work team, and they will then do relevant assessments and plan for the baby. If they decide that the only option is removal of the child at birth then they will approach family members including the father to see if there are any appropriate and willing carers for the child. Best course of action at this stage is for the father to contact the social work team and see what stage they are at.
Does the mother want to keep this child? Will she oppose the father having it full time?

WorriedForFriend

She wants to keep it and says she allow dad to see it whenever he wants. What will happen when one of the endless string of boyfreinds isn't happy with that?

If mum isn't suitable, is dad always first choice? Not gran or auntie?

He is sure he is the dad, don't know how, but he says he is sure.

She also refuses to go to counselling or to support groups.

gizmo111

WorriedForFriend wrote: »

She wants to keep it and says she allow dad to see it whenever he wants. What will happen when one of the endless string of boyfreinds isn't happy with that?

Assuming SS are happy with her having care of the child then he needs to go to court and gain an order, possibly shared care residency where they have 4 days or something similar each.

If mum isn't suitable, is dad always first choice? Not gran or auntie?

Depends if dad is suitable.

He is sure he is the dad, don't know how, but he says he is sure.

She also refuses to go to counselling or to support groups.

Counselling isn't the right thing for everyone and isn't a magic fix.
I suggest he gets in touch with the social workers and works with them to see what they are thinking.

rachel6188

its good to read of a father who actually cares so good on your friend...youv had some great advice and i wish him the best xox