How do deal with colleagues who you have nothing in common with?

retroglamour

venus_in_furs wrote: »

I had a similar situation in my last job. Everyone was at least 12 years older than me, (the second youngest was 34) most in their 40s and above. Which is fine and i did get on with them but they all had families and i couldn't relate to all of that (not yet, anyway!) I found it quite isolating and even though i tried to get to know them better they all assumed i was some young airhead and treated me like a child.

This describes my work situation perfectly. I'm 21 and a legal secretary. I have over 2 years experience, and half of the PA's can't do the things I can do and it annoys me they earn £5k more than me and are meant to be more knowledgeable about the job! They ask me for help all the time, and then patronise me. "Ahhh, what a clever little girl you are!". HA. All of the secretaries are 40 at least, they're all really !!!!!y (I used to work in a big clothes shop and it was nowhere near as !!!!!y!), and I always feel excluded from things. They go on about their families all the time, go to the pub (they're all big drinkers, and my drinking days are well and truly over!), and I have the same problem as the OP in that I have a long commute. I'm looking for a new job nearer home, but haven't had much luck yet!

RobertoMoir

lufcgirl wrote: »

It's not a case of me making an effort, as I do listen to their conversations and attempt to join in. However when you have no experience of the situation and (maybe it's just me being a snob or whatever) find the conversation veering towards drink, drugs and being arrested I tend to switch off. Most conversations go this way.

I have friends there, one who has just got back from travelling and another who used to do a much more rewarding career than just call centre. If I wanted to segregate myself I would with those two as they are intellectually on my level, however I do want to make an effort to integrate more into the group hence my post asking for advice!

Maybe the group can sense how you feel about their topic of conversation. I'm not sure I'd want to talk to someone who was figuratively holding their nose while speaking to me, and from what you say I suspect this might be how you come across even though you don't intend to. I'm not having a go at you there, to be honest from what you say I wouldn't have a lot in common with these people either.

My advice is to just be yourself and not worry about it, just maintain polite relations with everyone and not worry about not being able to join in the conversations about drunken debauchery. You don't have to be everyone's friend at work and trying to force yourself to fit in with people you have nothing in common with sounds like a great way to make things worse for both you and them.