Here's another rant about family, fed up now, my life isn't an open book

MicheH

Hi again, yeah it's me. You may want to hit that back button :rotfl:

You might have read my post about my sister not wanting to be guarantor for us knowing that she was our last hope she refused blah blah and I took that very hard.

Well this same sister who has gone on and on about her husbands new job and how much better off they're going to be, how they're intending to pay off more towards their mortgage.. yes you're getting the picture she's either insensitive and clueless or is intentionally trying to upset me. To be honest with you I dont know myself.

So.. she emails me this morning with a link for trailer tents (£7000 to buy) I made a quick joke about camping and to get herself a tent like ours. We love camping, it's great fun! Anyway she emailed me back asking how much our tent cost. I replied 'it was expensive, about £150 two years ago but much cheaper than a trailer tent' she then replied 'well in your case you got it for free p*ssing myself laughing'

I was fuming. My husbands bonus paid for that tent! And free? Is she having a giraffe! We've been paying back hundreds of pounds a month in debt repayments for years! Free!! I've lost my house for f**ks sake. Right im stopping now cos you know the score on what we're having to go through.

She just getting ridiculus. She commented last week that she didn't feel guilty now about taking our baby equipment without giving us any thing in return because we 'havn't really paid for it anyway'

I've asked my mam to have a word with her because i'm sure she kicking me while i'm down, no one can be that insensitive.

I'm rising above it though - well im nearly there lol I just feel like they're sitting there thinking I shouldn't be allowed to watch TV, it must be on tick. Grrr!

lindsaygalaxy

Try not to let it get to u, often people who haven't been BR dont understand the point you have to get to before you go through with it or the stress and pressure it puts on. You have done what is best for you and your family.

yellowmonkey

Also sounds a little bit like the green eyed monster as well

ym

Lost2

Perhaps your sister is just insinuative. Let her pap on she's the one in debt,especially if she buys her £7000 tent

Angiepange

MicheH wrote: »

Hi again, yeah it's me. You may want to hit that back button :rotfl:

You might have read my post about my sister not wanting to be guarantor for us knowing that she was our last hope she refused blah blah and I took that very hard.

Well this same sister who has gone on and on about her husbands new job and how much better off they're going to be, how they're intending to pay off more towards their mortgage.. yes you're getting the picture she's either insensitive and clueless or is intentionally trying to upset me. To be honest with you I dont know myself.

So.. she emails me this morning with a link for trailer tents (£7000 to buy) I made a quick joke about camping and to get herself a tent like ours. We love camping, it's great fun! Anyway she emailed me back asking how much our tent cost. I replied 'it was expensive, about £150 two years ago but much cheaper than a trailer tent' she then replied 'well in your case you got it for free p*ssing myself laughing'

I was fuming. My husbands bonus paid for that tent! And free? Is she having a giraffe! We've been paying back hundreds of pounds a month in debt repayments for years! Free!! I've lost my house for f**ks sake. Right im stopping now cos you know the score on what we're having to go through.

She just getting ridiculus. She commented last week that she didn't feel guilty now about taking our baby equipment without giving us any thing in return because we 'havn't really paid for it anyway'

I've asked my mam to have a word with her because i'm sure she kicking me while i'm down, no one can be that insensitive.

I'm rising above it though - well im nearly there lol I just feel like they're sitting there thinking I shouldn't be allowed to watch TV, it must be on tick. Grrr!

Sorry to hear your sister is SO insensitive to your situation. You dont deserve her nasty comments, im sure you could do with support and understanding from her right now. Perhaps she should read a few peoples stories on here, might make her realise how judgemental she has been towards you.

Well it must hurt but perhaps you should distance yourself from her for a while, build your strength up again, avoid money talk with her. Probably easier said than done but concentrate on getting you and your family through your BR and building a better future for yourselves. One day she may have a predicament in which she needs your support and probably then it will sink in how she treated you. Ax

gtanny

although my family have been more then supportive my wife wont tell hers due to this exact reason, unfortunatly due to the circumstances i did have to tell people at work.

My manager seems to think that ive just decided to spend loads of money and then go BR and not have to pay any back, so far im not taking the bait and arguing with him about how its not as simple as that but when your as ignorant about money as he is its to be expected i suppose.

Anyway hope things get sorted and just remember what your sister when shes going through what you are a few years down the line - dont get me wrong but rash purchases like u mention is normally when it all starts - especially in the present financial climate.

MicheH

Thanks guys.

Ange I think you're right in saying I have to distance myself for a while. I know I am being really sensitive and I know she is a tactless, clueless ignorant who hangs off her husband's every word so I have to make allowances for how she is but these comments seem a little but too mean to me, maybe she's trying to make light of a bad situation. I really don't know.

She's negative about my new rental home (heating will cost too much, garden is smaller than 'my' house, kitchen looks a little dated in pics) and I know that she is being like this because we have managed to get ourselves a nice place in a nice area and she's a little jealous of that even though her house is mortgaged and I have to now rent.

I understand sibling rivalry, we've fought most our lives but i'm 30 now and she's a new mum and married at the age of 27. I'm down right now and can't cope with negativity. So yeah, im putting her on the back burner for a while. I'll still be nice and pleasant and go over when i'm invited but I need to concentrate on my emotional well being right now.

Thank you nice forum.. I think I need to get myself a diary to air my thoughts!

Blackpool_Saver

I hope it helps you to come on here and get it off your chest, take no notice

Angiepange

It really helps to talk to people on here who are going thru BR, I was devastated when my brother refused to be a guarantor if i will need one, backed by my parents who were worried about any possible effect on his credit file. I felt abandoned and alone and even now I cant quite believe how my family can fail to be there for me when it really matters.

But I still love them, I will still be there for them if they need me, I just dont think I will ever forget. Still time is a great healer.

Miche your new place sounds great, I remember you mentioned a great school too for your girls so I really hope it works out well, a house is just 4 walls, a home is what you make it.

Angie x

dalip

Wise words AP,a home is what you make it.........wonder if your sister calls hers home mich???

damoandclaire

hi mich,

sorry to hear what you're going through. Who needs enemies when you have families?
most of my family thankfully, have been quite good about when I went BR. But one person, my nan, started off with the whole "holier than thou" torrent. Suffice to say that I hardly speak to her now except to let her see her great grand kids.

But, this is definately a time where you need positivity and support, not snipes and negativity. Although its your sister, I would defo try and distance yourself, one so that shes not constantly at you but more importantly, so that you don't say anything you'll regret possibly.

It does get better, don't let her get to you (easier said than done obviously).
:rolleyes: