Do you live alone whats the best/worst thing about it

Newly_retired

Just a thought - don't mean to be offensive - sometimes some people who do not live alone do not have anyone to go out to dinner with, or go on holiday with.
My OH is away at the moment and I am enjoying all the things you mention, but though I do not mind my own company I do feel lonely. Does one ever get used to that?

chesky369

Loneliness is not necessarily about being on your own. Anyone who's been in a dodgy marriage knows that there's nothing worse than feelling lonely when you're living with someone. Better to live alone and be with friends and acquantances. But I do agree about holidays and particularly in my case going to art galleries. You can go on your own, but there's no-one to say 'ooh I like that' or 'what a load of old rubbish' to.

missychrissy

I completely agree with you chesky369. I was more alone within my marriage than I am now. My husband went to the pub every night during the whole of our 25 year marriage and left me to bring up our 4 sons. I used to wonder what was wrong with me that he didn't want to come home. I eventually realised that the problem was his and not mine.

We are all different. I do not want to go on holiday on my own or go out to dinner. However, I do lots of other things. I took up Taekwondo at age 50 and became a black belt within 3 years. I love the gym, walking my dog, make my own wine, grow veg (though not completely self sufficient on this one yet) and have done lots of evening and day classes.

I would rather be single than stuck in an unhappy relationship. I put up with an unhappy marriage to a very selfish man for far too many years beause I thought it was better for my sons. None of them will have anything to do with him now so how wrong was I?

Newly_retired

OH is back. I had forgotten how noisy he is! Coughs, loud sneezes, ( no, he is not ill) throat clearing, grinding teeth, scraping his chair, whistling, loud TV........and this is a quiet, untalkative, very private person.
So peace and quiet is a big advantage ( and maybe disadvantage) of living alone.

chesky369

I've been looking after my 14-year old grand-daughter for a few days now. Much as I love her, my goodness, I miss the peace and quiet. She's so LOUD.

dreaming

missychrissy wrote: »

I completely agree with you chesky369. I was more alone within my marriage than I am now. My husband went to the pub every night during the whole of our 25 year marriage and left me to bring up our 4 sons. I used to wonder what was wrong with me that he didn't want to come home. I eventually realised that the problem was his and not mine.

We are all different. I do not want to go on holiday on my own or go out to dinner. However, I do lots of other things. I took up Taekwondo at age 50 and became a black belt within 3 years. I love the gym, walking my dog, make my own wine, grow veg (though not completely self sufficient on this one yet) and have done lots of evening and day classes.

I would rather be single than stuck in an unhappy relationship. I put up with an unhappy marriage to a very selfish man for far too many years beause I thought it was better for my sons. None of them will have anything to do with him now so how wrong was I?

Totally agree with you missychrissy. My ex wasn't (isn't) a horrid man but hated "arty-farty" stuff and if I read a book he used to think I was bored with him; and although he came to the theatre once or twice with me, he would make it clear how much he hated it. But he didn't like me going with friends either - instead he wanted me to sit and watch tv with him night after night. Since we split (10years ago) I have studied and got a degree, have joined a book group and read things I wouldn't have normally, and renovated my own house. I have actually found that doing things on my own makes me connect more with people (when I joined an evening class with a friend, we tended to stick together and not talk too much to the others). Although I was devastated at the end of my marriage, I have since realised how stifled I allowed myself to be in order to stay together - IMO a major cause of the depression I suffered throughout my marriage & which has since disappeared.

flossy_splodge

I think the chance to rediscover your own self is the biggest single plus.
I hadn't realised to what degree I was 'just' Mum or 'the wife' and never acknowledged as ME.
The downside?
Lying in bed listening to the creaks and groans in the house and worrying myself silly that there is a huge problem and either the side is falling off the house of the roof is caving in.... you get the picture.
I always was a worrier but having no-one else in the house to tell me not to be daft is a real downside.

dorisday

So many good things about living alone. Ive been by myself for 30 years this year. You can do exactly what you want to do. Decorate thr house as you want it, have the garden the way you want it. Eat what you want, spend your money on what you want. The biggest advantage is not having to consider anyone else but yourself. If you have a few good friends there isnt really any downside to living alone as if you dont want to do things on your own, ring a friend or two and do the things together. Oh and you can always get a dog to keep you company at least it will always do as you tell it.

Farway

Nearly forgot, biggest upside is leaving loo seat up, as God intended, without earache

chesky369

Blimey Farway, if that was the worst you had to deal with, you were a lucky devil.