need to find psychiatric support and help quickly

pickledtink

Am in the process of changing doctors so unable to get to see new doctor anytime soon . It's all taking ages. I have serious health issues which erupted big time 2 years ago ( physical) but obviously this is very lowering to the spirits so it's difficult to stay positive when life has become full of pain and restriction.

My main problem is my relationship with my only child who is much loved. we were very close and although we had ups and downs and some very difficult times over the years seemed to come through it with a good and honest loving bond.Single parent since Husband divorced when my son was a baby.

He suddenly became colder and colder towards me then when I was diagnosed as v ill and put on steroids sent me a couple of emails brimming with bitter hatred towards me and accusing me of abuse as a child blaming all and every lack he felt in himself on me. It was a dreadful shock and he refused to answer any calls or emails for about a year.
Then when I was hospitalised he did come and see me once but although we have slowly rebuilt some kind of relationship and things seemed to be going fairly well he has done the same again also giving me an impossible ultimatum. Either I see a psychiatrist to make me 'admit' this 'abuse' or he is cutting me out of his life forever.

He also completely denies I am ill saying he is sick of my attention seeking self pity. I'm no faker and go to great lengths to put on make up and be upbeat when I see people. I attend hospital under neurologist, Rheumatologist and am also outpatient at the Lupus unit in London. My illness is very real. I have Hughes and Fibromyalgia with the accompanying hyposomnia where you just conk out anywhwere at any time without warning.
I'm heartbroken. I know he probably has mental health needs due to extreme drug abuse when he was in his teens. His relationships all seem to be based on him being in control and then he plays games with whoever it is. Girlfriends, friends etc but I am the main punch bag I think because he knows as his Mother I just cannot switch love off.
I don't lean on him and pay people to do all the things I cannot do. I can't afford this and it has drained me financially. I've given up trying to get any DLA.

I am so screwed up by this second horrible attack that I feel I honestly do need to see someone to get help for myself. Is there any way I can access some counselingor therapy that is free or costs very little? I am feeling suicidal frankly . Being ill has led to considerable lonliness I guess so I am a bit fragile emotionally anyway I admit but seeing my son again and feeling the wounds were healing had really lifted my spirits.
I have no other family and a couple of loyal friends but don't expect him to dance attendance on me just a few visits, some phone calls and to know how his life is going is all I wanted with normal love and care between us.
I have to accept I have lost him but this has just smashed me to bits. I know I need help.

RadoJo

Hi Pickled Tink,
I'm so sorry you're feeling so low, and I am sure you can access some help which will give you something positive to hold onto.
I have no experience in this area but could you try somewhere like NHS direct? I'm sure if you explained how bad you were feeling they should be aboe to fast-track you to get you some help, or at least some hope?!
Huge hugs and hopefully someone with some more solid advice will be around soon!
xxx

talulahbeige_2

Contact MIND, they are all over the country and offer a counselling service which is means tested, so you would pay what you can afford.

NHS wont help as quick as OP would like unless you do attempt suicide (WHICH I DONT SUGGEST YOU SHOULD). There are plenty of ways out you just cant see them yet.

You could also call the Samaritans, they will offer instant counselling over the phone and you may find it helps a great deal just to talk to someone impartial and then you can arrange NHS help through your GP.

Whatever you do tho, don;t give up

DKLS

Sadly there is often a long waiting list for counselling or to see a psychiatrist/psychologist. In the mean time, ask your GP if there are any local IAPT or low intensity services, they should be able to get you on the right track and point you to various support services, and in some cases bump you up the waiting list.

ExNicotineQueen

As one of the other posters above said, definitely contact MIND. I am based in North London, my OH is seeing a counsellor via MIND for free. He had to do it via GP referral though, and it took about 6 weeks after the initial contact letter from MIND for his first appointment. He says he is finding the therapy very beneficial and I have noticed a big change in him.

MIND also help with form filling and helped my OH fill out the DLA form. Please give them a call, they are friendly and should be able to help you out.

Please don't give up, from my own experience and also dealing with my OH who has similar symptoms to yourself, I know how dark and lonely that path can be. If you need any more info or even just want a chat, feel free to drop me a PM.

Penny-Pincher!!

PT-Contact your Lupus nurse and they will point you in the right direction. MH problems can be part of Lupus. Are you on Warfarin for the Hughes and if so, have you had your INR done recently to check levels, sometimes if its low, you can feel very down? FMS is a horrid illness to live with.

Like many other illnesses, when you look well, people assume that you are well. Unfortunately, with Lupus it's like this! People are just shallow sometimes, including family members.

You need to concentrate on getting yourself better and your son will have to sort himself out.

I would ring your Lupus clinic and ask for an emergency appointment and they can refer you internally if they think you need MH help. Do you have a CPN? They can also help you with the forms for relevant benefits.

Try and keep your chin up, keep smiling and remember there is always someone more worse off than yourself....it gets me through each day;)

Hugs

PP
xx

pickledtink

Thanks so much to everyone who posted. it really has helped me . Not just the practical suggestions but the understanding shown of what it's like to deal with this kind of illness.I've been doing quite a drastic dropping of steroids to get off after being on high dose for more than a year and that's no picnic. I was doing pretty well until this kick in the teeth from my son. It's the pain of getting that from someone you love so dearly that has shattered me.
I obviously need help to just let him go and hope one day he faces up to the damage he's done to himself.
I'm definitely going to follow up some of those suggestions.

whitty999

hugs to you x
i know its hard but try to keep your spirits up,let him grow up a bit your son & ignore his emails if they are nasty.

rachel6188

i myself suffer from mh issues from being ill so understand how you feel totally....go and see your gp definately...sorry iv got no advice just hugs xox

thisuseridistakenagain

I work for a clinic and we only accept patients who have a GP, I strongly suggest you visit a GP and they can get you the right kind of tharapy, there are loads of options for talking therapies these days. They do couples sessions too if you thought that might help.

In the meantime, like someone said above, it always helps to talk to someone, so do call the samaritans if you are struggling.

Blackpool_Saver

sending masses of hugs.....