Big girls - we are beautiful! Aren't we??

Pinkylouloubell

I have just replied to another thread about how and what larger girls tend to wear and thought I would try and ask for some advice of my own.

Im a women and I like to feel and look good, but at my current size, which can be anything between a 22 to a 26 I never feel good.

I really dont like to look sloppy, but find stretchy t-shirts and full skirts so much more comfortable than anything fitted or shirts.

I have a t-shirt in almost every colour of the rainbow and suppose I am pretty naive when I think they look OK, coz tbo, they are faded and baggy, but the bagginess seems to cover the lumps and bumps to a certain extent.

I never wear trousers, only to bed beacuse my hips and ar5e are huge and I just look disgusting, so cover it all up with full flouncy skirts.

Sometimes i look at pictures of myself and I just look like a big slob, which I really never intend to do when I am getting ready in the morning.

My hair is another story, Ive never been able to wear it down au naturel as it is a bit like afro hair and soooooo dry and frizzy, Ive tried every product under the sun, but nothing works for me, seriously people dont beleive me and always say have you tried...... or......., but they DONT WORK!! Lol!

My skin is greasy and spotty but then goes all scaly and dry and Ive been on different anti biotics for years to try n sort it out.

I have a bad knee which the doctor says is either water or early stages of arthritus.

My back plays me up daily and I wake up in the night in agony and have to ease myself over to one side s it hurts so much.

I get out of breath, felt awful and just keep getting bigger and bigger.

I keep asking why do I do this to myself but have no answers.

Im only 29 so know at the moment I still have time to make a difference, but have just split up from a long term relationship, have daily streeses with neighbours and family and am a full time working mum, so life can be tough.

I see small, medium and big women every day.
Some look good, some dont, but I think it's more about how they feel inside that matters.

Over the years as I have been putting on weight, I have begun to develop all of the above health problems.

So, can I ask other bigger women, how do you cope??

With aching legs.
With feeling sluggish and lethargic all the time.
With looking in the mirror and hating what you see.
With the pain that comes with being overweight.

How have you managed to keep upi the motivation to lose weight?

I am sure some of you will want to reply with - well just stop eating so much ect.... ect.....
believe me, if I could I would.

Any genuine replies please feel free.

XX

delain

I am a size 16 top half 18 bottom half these days, which is the biggest i've ever been and i feel frumpy too. I have barely any clothes that fit me, and i think this is a huge contributing factor!

I've started going to the gym. My local one is quiet and not full of size 8 twigs, and i have a couple of friends i can call on to go with me if i feel particularly frumpy.

Swimming will be easier on your knees as it's low impact exercise.

I don't know if you work or not, but if you go at say, 10,11am (in my local anyway) the pool will be pretty much deserted and anyone there will be in your boat too

and MAKE AN EFFORT!
dress well every day, get some nice jeans from Evans (best thing i did), put makeup on, treat your hair to some deep conditioning treatments.

once you feel better the weight might start dropping off.

i have also stopped buying biscuits etc as if i haven't got them, i can't eat them!

lostinrates

As someone with naturally curly and frizy hair, can I ask what you are currently doing? We might be able to help with that. (I'm often envied for my hair: because I learned how to do it right, and it does vary between curly heads: my mother and husband have curly/frizy hair too and both need different stuff, identifying the hair type besides frizy is helpful, e.g. is each hair fine or coarse, and do you have lots of hair, or if you plit it is there less than you think there should be for all the ''fluff;; )

I try to think of myself as a super efficient green car: the fuel goes an awfully long way. Because of my medical conditions I will neer be able to eat a ''normal'' amount of calories so I accep that (grudgingly) and have halted weight gain, and made some lossess. I do take vitamins/minerals to keep intake to RDA.

I'm losing a little bit ATM. I'e been having some treatment for pain and stuff, and its making oing around easier: exercising to anydegree is hard with pain and backache. I think a pedometre is an excellent tool to help up exercise.

mrcow

At age 29 with problems like that you really do need to be taking better care of yourself. I know you said you didn't want a lecture, and I'm seriously not trying to give you one. But you do need to start coming up with a plan to sort this out.

Anyway the reason for my post was actually with regards to your hair. If it's frizzy, have you ever tried using a proper quality pair of hair straighteners? They generally banish frizz pretty quickly.

debtfreein4years

im a 24/26 on bottom and a 24 on top. I only wear jeans or trousers and for just round the house i slob in jeans and a tshirt with no make up on.
going out even if its just to the supermarket i wear jeans but will put on a fitted shirt or jumper. i find the baggier clothes make me look bigger.

I dont always bother with make up, but have found that going to elemis and getting them to look at my skin and sort me out with a decent skincare routine has improved its condition no end. pricey but totally worth it. go to the cosmetic counters and see what they have to offer and then check out qvc to see when they have a beauty day as you can get some bargains.

Hair again im lucky if i can be bothered to blow dry it so i make sure i have a cut that suits the dry naturally look and i make sure my hair is dyed. i dont do grey hair!

with regards to teh aches and pains i just think if im like this now at 23 what am i going to be like in god knows how many years. my turning point came when i couldnt walk up a hill and then steps to the pub! i did but it took me ages. also want a baby and i am NOT getting pregnant at this size. i want to have a bump and people to know im pregnant rather than just looking fatter! another reason is i dont want to be a fat bride, will be happy to get to a size 18 or thereabouts.

to keep the motivation to loose weight i joined weight watchers and have stuck at it but havent lost any this year due to things that have gone on, but i stick at it cause if i wasnt attempting weight watchers what would my weight be like?

Pinkylouloubell

lostinrates wrote: »

As someone with naturally curly and frizy hair, can I ask what you are currently doing? We might be able to help with that. (I'm often envied for my hair: because I learned how to do it right, and it does vary between curly heads: my mother and husband have curly/frizy hair too and both need different stuff, identifying the hair type besides frizy is helpful, e.g. is each hair fine or coarse, and do you have lots of hair, or if you plit it is there less than you think there should be for all the ''fluff;; )

I try to think of myself as a super efficient green car: the fuel goes an awfully long way. Because of my medical conditions I will neer be able to eat a ''normal'' amount of calories so I accep that (grudgingly) and have halted weight gain, and made some lossess. I do take vitamins/minerals to keep intake to RDA.

I'm losing a little bit ATM. I'e been having some treatment for pain and stuff, and its making oing around easier: exercising to anydegree is hard with pain and backache. I think a pedometre is an excellent tool to help up exercise.

well, as I said, I have tried lots of different approaches, from cheap to super expensive shampoos and conditioners and atm i am using simple H & S shampoo ans Aussie Miracle leave in conditioner.
the only time I can EVER wear my hair down is if I have used irons, which calms the frizz right down.
I know this does my hair no good in the long run but as I have never been able to wear it down anyway, it really doesnt make much difference,
I normally just wash it and out it back in a band unless its a special occasion.

I have also been reading about olive oil method for my skin on another thread and am going to give that a try.
Nothing to lose,

get some nice jeans from Evans (best thing i did),

may sound like a silly question, but what sort of top d you wear??
I also find trousers hard to fit as even though I have huge hips, my waist is considerably smaller, so always end up with them beign huge and baggy round the waist and tight on the hips, totally uncomfortable!!

WolfSong2000

I'm a size 20/22 and my hair is a frizzy mess - drives me insane. Finding clothes is also "interesting", but definitely doable . I clean up fairly well when I put enough effort into it. Lethargy, etc, may be down to weight, but there may also be some underlying medical issues, so I'd go get yourself checked out...could be PCOS or hypothyroid? I dunno - not a doctor .

I definitely have days where I feel worse than usual. My weight also fluctuates a great deal and no matter how hard I may try it's really difficult for me to lose weight...am losing a little at the moment, but that's mainly because my food intake has been cut sharply (am staying with a family and their eating habits are a little irregular), so if I want food I have to walk 3 miles each way to the local grocery store to get it. That combined with the humidity (I'm in the USA right now) has meant I've lost a wee bit of weight.

I think it's just a case of taking time for yourself, pampering yourself, etc.

As for hair - I've started using...lord what's it called. I think it's Aveno, butncould be Avena...something like that. Has a wheatgerm extract. Not sure if it's just available in the USA, but it's worked wonders for my hair, which is a first for me, and like you I have tried *everything*, including expensive salon brands!

LilacPixie

Well I may as well kick in with my story. I have had 2 kids in 2 years and i ballooned from a 14 to a 22. Like you I work full time etc. I felt awful, very unattractive my knees ached my back ached I was sluggish and short with the kids and had no energy to play at the end of the day.

I decided just before Christmas that things had to change. I had alot to be thankful for and i was effectivly squandering the life I had been given so I started walking more with the kids, Leaving the car at home and walking to the shops. I cut portion sizes and carbs right down and es I have lost weight roughly 5 stones in fact.

Problem is I now don't see a beautiful thin woman I still see the same fat chick. Logically I know i'm not fat, I wear size 10/12's now but the way i see myself has not changed.

You need to concentrate on liking and loving yourself first no matter your size becuaseif our like me your weight isn't the main problem it's your mind

lostinrates

Pinkylouloubell wrote: »

well, as I said, I have tried lots of different approaches, from cheap to super expensive shampoos and conditioners and atm i am using simple H & S shampoo ans Aussie Miracle leave in conditioner.
the only time I can EVER wear my hair down is if I have used irons, which calms the frizz right down.
I know this does my hair no good in the long run but as I have never been able to wear it down anyway, it really doesnt make much difference,
I normally just wash it and out it back in a band unless its a special occasion.

What ''products'' hae you tried? Gnerally I find tigi catwalk curls rock Curls amplifier and the right consistancy frzz ease, mixed together in the palm of hand and scrunched up into hair rather than combed through hair root to ends is a good place to start with friends frizzy hair: seeing whther they need more or less ''strength'' that that. Also, you don't say if you are brushing combing hair? I only comb mine, oh, once a month or so, I finger comb it in the shower daily though: its not as rank as it sounds. I've had so many friends say that their frizy hair is not as curly as mine and they have tried everything and then I do their hair (frizy haired girls seemed to seek me out at one point ) and show them and it gets better. FWIW straightening irons have not been near my hair for AGES and the last time I tried, about four years ago, they didn't combat the friz efficiently. If I want to go straightly sleek for a while I'm afraid a really good blow straght is far more effective for me: but I find it too irksome to do myself and not many hairdressors are ''right'' either. I do shampoo, but not very often: weekly? I condition and rinse often: sometimes every day, sometimes a=every second day: depending on what I'm doing and hat the weather is.

Pinkylouloubell

LilacPixie wrote: »

Well I may as well kick in with my story. I have had 2 kids in 2 years and i ballooned from a 14 to a 22. Like you I work full time etc. I felt awful, very unattractive my knees ached my back ached I was sluggish and short with the kids and had no energy to play at the end of the day.

I decided just before Christmas that things had to change. I had alot to be thankful for and i was effectivly squandering the life I had been given so I started walking more with the kids, Leaving the car at home and walking to the shops. I cut portion sizes and carbs right down and es I have lost weight roughly 5 stones in fact.

Problem is I now don't see a beautiful thin woman I still see the same fat chick. Logically I know i'm not fat, I wear size 10/12's now but the way i see myself has not changed.

You need to concentrate on liking and loving yourself first no matter your size becuaseif our like me your weight isn't the main problem it's your mind

Think I can agree with the mind being the problem.
I dont want to go into too much detail, but had various 'problems' as I was growing up and have therefore had to have 2 years of counselling to sort my head out.
Which it has done, but has made no difference to my eating and my weight.

When I was 13 I discovered boys and lost a lot of weight by healthy eating and doing exercise, but then after I had my son, I put it all back on and an extra 5-6 stone as well.

I also gave up smoking 7 years ago and put on weight then too.

I generally dont eat too bad, chicken lots of veges ect..... but its all the snacking and emotional eating that gets me.

And I feel like a giant hamster stuck on the wheel at the moment.

As reagrds to the Aveno, I'm not sure.
I went to USA (trip of a lifetime) in april and remember buying a face cream from Aveeno that I am still using, do you think that is it??

Has it really made all that difference to your hair??

Would you like to buy me some, hehe?

Stephb1986_2

Well I'm only 22 nearly 23 I'm a size 20 at the moment the smallest I've been is a 16/14 but I only got to that size by doing lighterlife (meal replacement) I would never recommend it to anyone as I've put more weight on than I had before hand.

Chocolate is my weakness But I can say no funnily enough most nights I can just sit and watch telly and not eat anything. I don't really exercise much but I am on my feet for 6+ hours a day (run a ironing service) so although I'm on my feet I am pretty much glued to the spot. So the last thing I want to do is exercise when I've finished working.

I buy my clothes from dorothy perkins, bhs, marks and spencers, I buy the odd t shirt from Evans but their trousers don't fit me nice as I have a small waist but a fat back side and thighs

I went into BHS last week in the trafford centre, I picked up a wool type cardigan/gillet its got small sleeves in and one button I'll have a look on the website to see if they have it there. That was £30 I picked up a pair of stretch bootleg jeans £25 and a smart/casual jacket that was £30 too but wearing either the jacket or the cardi makes me feel great the cardi because it slims me down and covers my backside and the jacket because it stops me feeling under dressed and like I'm poor. I mean I've got plenty of money i just don't dress like I have money.

Sometimes putting a bit of lippy on and putting a new tshirt on makes you feel so much more better. I wear my jammies until 5:30pm because no one see's me during the day unless I go out. So when I do go out I make sure I make an effort now. It makes you feel better and it seems to other people that you take pride in yourself.

I know eating is a habit but some people don't really understand how bad it is. It's like smoking thats a habit you can give it up but you need food to survive! and with all the fast food that is available it's hard not to go to them places. I cba when I've been on my feet for so long during the day to bother cooking tea or hoovering. So it is tempting going to fast food places.

I have recently got a new dog a border collie so they need alot of walking I walk her a mile a day I know that sounds alot but its half a mile there and half a mile back she loves it and I love watching her sniff around and new things. It is exercise but without it being mentally like exercise like going to the gym and having to wear gym clothes walking a dog you can wear anything. Perhaps volunteer at a local dog centre to walk a few dogs for a few hours a week that will get you exercising without it being too strenous.

I am embarrased by my size when my OH's dad makes comments about fat people on the telly and I sit there and think does he think that about me? I wouldn't buy clothes infront of him. I do buy clothes infront of my OH but thats different coz he loves me for me. His sister is a size 12/14 and she looks down her nose at me because she's thin I find that rather offensive considering I can buy and sell her and im 5 years younger! Just because I'm fat. My Oh's auntys and grandma think im nothing because my job is in the service industry yeah I might do that type of work but it doesn't mean I'm worth anything less than they are. They too also treat me like I have no money I'm the one with a brand new car sat on the front and holidays booked for all over the world. It just really pi$$e$ me off that people treat me like that because I'm overweight.

I honestly don't eat that much, like today I've had.....
2 pieces of toast with butter
1/2 a snicker
a laughing cow low fat cheese buttie for dinner
and for tea we went out to celebrate went to an all you can eat place
I managed 2 plates of pasta and 1 small slice of chocolate cake

I don't really eat that much it's just because I'm not working it off thats the problem. Start taking a cod liver oil tablet before bed to ease the joints

You will soon feel the benefit.

Sorry for the rambling I had to get it out though.

Steph xx