how can you avoid house u own paying for nursing home fees

BubbleFrogette

marklv wrote: »

But in Spain and France (and other Latin countries) many parents live with their children even when they become totally incapacitated.

Rubbish. Do you know that for a fact do you? Spain and France are not part of the developing world where the elderly have no option but to work until they drop dead or live with the extended family when they become unable to cope alone. They face exactly the same kinds of issues as we do here in the UK.

My ex is Spanish and his grandmother was in a care home because his parents were not able to give up their jobs to care for her. She sold her house to pay for this. My OH is French. His paternal grandmother is requring more and more care from the family, who are mostly based in Provence and she is in Paris. They are just now looking at how to fund care home fees for her and selling her house is one of the possibilties.

marklv

BubbleFrogette wrote: »

Rubbish. Do you know that for a fact do you? Spain and France are not part of the developing world where the elderly have no option but to work until they drop dead or live with the extended family when they become unable to cope alone. They face exactly the same kinds of issues as we do here in the UK.

My ex is Spanish and his grandmother was in a care home because his parents were not able to give up their jobs to care for her. She sold her house to pay for this. My OH is French. His paternal grandmother is requring more and more care from the family, who are mostly based in Provence and she is in Paris. They are just now looking at how to fund care home fees for her and selling her house is one of the possibilties.

It's not rubbish - and I resent the rudeness of your reply. I never said Spain and France were part of the developing world, you idiot.

There is a tradition in these countries for the elderly to be housed with the extended family - this is fact. As for what you mentioned above that is more of an exception rather the rule, though these days maybe the trend is moving more towards the situation in the UK, this I do accept.

BubbleFrogette

I might be many things, but an idiot is something I'll never be.

I agree that in the past southern European countries tended to have larger families and thus the extended families looked after the elderly when they became infirm. That is is not the case anymore and this tradition has mostly died out. So whilst it might be a fact that it used to happen it's not a fact that happens today.

Oh and I rather expect that my anectdotes from France and Spain are not exceptions to the norm. The probability that I had experience of two families from two different countries both of whom are exceptions to the norm (the norm being that families have their elderly live with them when they get old) is extremley low.

marklv

BubbleFrogette wrote: »

I might be many things, but an idiot is something I'll never be.

I agree that in the past southern European countries tended to have larger families and thus the extended families looked after the elderly when they became infirm. That is is not the case anymore and this tradition has mostly died out. So whilst it might be a fact that it used to happen it's not a fact that happens today.

I take your point, but it still happens there much more than in the UK - that is why the nursing home issue is so big here as opposed to Italy, Spain, etc.

dodger1

kittie wrote: »

surely it is a matter of pride to make provision to pay your own care fees. Who should pick up the bill? the struggling tax payer?

It goes back to the old question. Two identical couples, identical jobs, identical income for 50 years. One couple decides to be spendthrift, buy their own house, have the odd holiday, have the odd night out, make the car last 15 years etc. Second couple, rent their house, take 2 foreign holidays a year, go down the pub 4 nights a week, have 50" plasma tv, new car every 5 years, down the bookies on a Saturday etc etc etc.

Couple 2 have no savings and no property and will get everything supplied to them for free having had a fun time reaching retirement. What do couple 1 get? They get shafted, that's what they get. Now I don't know what the answer is but I know the present situation isn't right, especially for couple number1.

Finally I'm not even complaining about couple 2, at least they've worked to have their fun it's just the system is faulty.

dodger1

bendix wrote: »

Since when has inheritance been a god-given right? It might be in your worldview, but not in mine.

Making your own way in the world and paying your own way when you can - that is my idea of what is right.

In your worldview it seems that it is ok to make other taxpayers pay for your elderly care - even though you can afford it yourself - just so that spoilt brat offspring get the house.

Fair enough. That tells me all I need to know about how you think.

Just because your offspring are spoilt brats please don't assume all offspring are.

sprogs

jammiev wrote: »

hi, my mum and dad currently live at home but as they are getting on a bit and are both retired and own there own home have asked me is there a way of them avoiding having to pay the nursing home themselves ie; it coming out of the house?

they have read somewere you can go to a solicters who can sort it for about £1000 but it takes 8 years before it comes into effect!

anyone help?

thanks

OK, I read about half of the thread before giving up!

My understanding is yes, there is a way. I know my parents have taken out some form of insurance should they need to go into a home which will cover all the costs, they went to a specialist firm and I don't think it was cheap. I am afraid I don't have all the details, but get reminded on a regular basis of where all the paperwork is should it ever be needed! My advice would be to try and get several recommendations - I can find out who they used if you would like - PM me.

My mother is adamant that firstly she does not want her home to have to be sold after having worked so hard all their lives for what they have. Secondly she has informed me that she would also refuse to live with me 'and be a burden' - her words not mine (for the record I would be more than happy to care for my parents should the need arise) and my dad does as he is told!! I am fortunate to live a few miles away from my parents and see them at least every other day.

I have my own home and work for what I have, but I do worry about my own children and the current economy and how they will get on in life. If things had been like this 18 or so years ago there is no way I could have afforded to buy a house and have a family! So to be quite honest whatever I do inherit is more likely to be of benefit to my children rather than me, my parents have already said that they intend to help support them through university which will hopefully mean they will start lives after uni debt free. I am very lucky and very grateful to have such fantastic supportive parents and hope to have them around for many years to come.

sprogs

MikeJones wrote: »

Readers of this post might be interested in this article out on 19th August 2009:

- Care home fee justice for families

It focuses upon three recent cases where suffers of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's were involved.

Mike

I work in the field of Pension Education and Pension Guidance in the UK. I am a member of the Specialist Pensions Forum as well as being a Voluntary Adviser for The Pensions Advisory Service. I work with scheme members, employers, trustees, scheme administrators and advisers on most things to do with employer sponsored pension schemes. The views expressed by me in this thread are my personal opinions. You should seek professional advice from an appropriately experienced and qualified adviser. I am not an IFA.

I have a friend who this happened to. Her grandparent had terminal cancer requiring specialist care, was told by the hospital that they had to find a nursing home for them. Initially the fees were paid from savings but they claimed them back, and they did it without hiring a specialist firm or solicitor.

1sue23

margaretclare wrote: »

'Needs of our heirs'? What needs of our heirs?

If I need to go into a nursing home at some future date (which heaven forbid!) it will be my needs that will be paramount.

Needs, wants, or that other weasel word -most people thought they'd done well in life if they left enough to pay for their own funeral and a 'ham tea' afterwards. They didn't want to be buried as paupers. How things have changed.

My grandfather had it about right he died in his own chair at the age of 90 with a glass of whisky by his side .His estate paid for the funeral and a do at the pub for family and friends where we shared many happy a memory ,and the grand total left in his estate was an elderly budgie and the brass ware he made as a tinsmith perfect .

bumpoowee

In short the current younger half of the working generation cannot afford to pay out for nursing fees for the ever increasing elderly part of the population. Particularly when the elderly part of the population in general have benefitted massively from huge undeserved increases in the value of their houses. If people don't want to contribute to their cost of their care even though they have the means to, they should be shoved into a shed with some newspapers to wipe their backsides and left to look after themselves.

There is an increasingly disgusting attitude in society to inheritance, ie the feeling of entitlement to tens or hundred of thousands of pounds for no other reason than having wealthy parents. If parents have a lot of money and go into care they should pay for it and benefit from a better standard of care. Those with less money should have a more basic standard of care provided. I say this as somebody who in theory stands to inherit a six figure sum. But personally I would rather have my parents and don't care if I get nothing, as I have done nothing to deserve it.