Ex husband refusing to let me take our children abroad on holiday, help!

donna8721

Heyloo. I have a very minor problem and could do with some advice.

My darling ex husband (whom I have 2 children with, DS 9, DD7) has decided that he is refusing all permission for me to take the children abroad on a holiday (hes a controlling so and so who has just been forced to pay 2 years worth of csa arrears......so he is now hell bent on making my life a misery, but this is the final nail in the coffin as I was just about to book a holiday for us all next year and need to get passports for the children!)

Can I apply for passports without his permission?? If I cant, can I take him to court and let the judge decide?? Like I said, he is only doing this to play mind games, but I dont want my 2 children to wonder why Im taking my other son & foster daughter abroad and not them. If I cant, then obviously its uk hols for the next 10 years lol.

Thanks for any advice

stef240377

Not sure how the law works now but several years ago when i was going through the courts to get them to see my sons father was abusive to him and to stop contact i was told i needed to inform him off any holidays abroad and also the school details so he can have access to reports etc. I have not done anything of the sort, within months of the court case he took no interest in my son and went as far as telling people he has no children (he has 4 to my knowledge and no contact to any of them).

Appreciate its not quite the info you required but it looks like the foreign hoildays thing still applies.

mrbrightside842

I don't think you need his permission to apply for a passport for them, I applied for my girls last year and didn't need their dad to do anything but didn't pay much attention to it all as we're together so wouldn't have noticed anything about separated parents. How would he stop you from taking them abroad, would he take you to court over it?

jellyhead

I can't remember what the forms say, but it's probably on the internet somewhere.

Does he have parental responsibility?

Also, how often does he see them? Would he know you'd gone? Is he willing to look after them while you're away? I would tell him I'm going to disneyland for a fortnight, so can he please take a fortnight off work because he'll have 2 very disappointed children to look after while I'm away.

mookiandco

He will have Parental responsibility as they were married. In which case you cannot take them out of the jurisdiction of england and wales without his consent unless you have a Residence Order in which case you can take them for a period of 28 days without his consent.

You can apply for a passport without his permission but cannot take them abroad unless he consents or the court makes an order granting you permission to take them abroad.

It is best to get his written consent so that he cannot back track later on or call the police and say your abducting the children just as your about to leave. Also some countries e.g USA (although not always) may ask to see the written consent of the other parent.

If he wont consent you will need to apply to the court for a specific issue order for the court to determine the issue of whether you should be able to take the children out of the country for the purposes of a holiday. Generally as long as you can show that you are bringing the children back, that you have set plans (E.g flight itinerary, hotel details etc) and you can provide these to the ex you will be permitted to take the children away. Usual objections are that the parent will not return with the children (he would need solid evidence of this) or that his contact will be greatly effected (e.g you are taking them away for a very long time).

If he continues to object now, I would make this application as soon as possible as the court system takes a while to process it and once you have your permission then you can relax. If you are entitled to legal aid then a solicitor can undertake the work and representation at court free of charge (just call a local solicitor who will do a quick calculation for you) otherwise you can do the application yourself and its pretty straightforward.

I would certainly not advocate just going away without his written consent or the consent of the court. Child abduction is a criminal offence and if he goes to the police and makes a complaint just as your getting on that plane then you wont be going anywhere not to mention the upset and disappointment to the children then.

The effort of getting the courts permission now will save alot of hassle in the long run and you will be able to sit back and enjoy the holiday with the children rather than worrying what the ex might be plotting.

Hope it works out for you x

freyasmum

I'm in Scotland, so it may be different - you're best to check yourself - but my lawyer said that I could move to the other end of the country if I wanted and he couldn't do anything about it. Same with holidays. I only need to inform him, I don't need written consent from him or the court.

My daughter is only three so my ex has parental responsibility.

prowla

Apart from being a controlling ... and wanting to get at you (both of which are evidently your opinions), could there be any real reason why he might not want them to go abroad at all, or to the particular place you've planned?

onetomany

i didnt think you need permission, for holiday you do to move abroad and i dont think you need for there passports think they ask details of him ocupation etc might be wrong hun if i was you i wouldnt worry i would just go for it no family court is going to refuse you a holiday ad thats the only way to stop you xxx

jenhug

my ex sister in law regularly takes my nephews on holiday with out my brothers permission or knowledge. they were married, she didn't need to inform him she had applied for passports.

Soubrette

When I took my daughter abroad when she was about 8 - I was asked if I had a letter from my ex husband giving permission when I went through customs when I landed.

When I said no and that I'd never heard of it, the immigration lady asked my daughter some questions such as when she'd last seen her dad, was she looking forward to her holiday, did her dad know she was here etc.

The next time I was asked if I had a letter but I said no and was recommended getting one as it would be easier.

Now she is older I've had no problems.

The ex has taken her for numerous holidays in Europe and never had any trouble at all.

Sou

jellyhead

My husband's taken my son abroad twice and hasn't needed my permission. I don't know how it all works though.

Do you think a year or so might help you be on better terms, and then he might say yes? You could holiday in Wales this year perhaps?