Reference after being a SAHM

mini

I was hoping by posting in here someone would come along with an answer having been in a similar position....

I have 2 children and have been a stay at home mum for nearly 12 years, before that I worked and am now looking into going back but what do I do about a reference? I left my last position sudenly due to complications with my pregnancy and they weren't at all impressed, when my OH rang to say I was in intensive care they said if they didn't speak to me that day I'd lose all my maternity pay (this was before mobiles and even then they weren't allowed in hospitals) they added so much stress to my situation and ended up paying me to leave when I asked my union to help (this was a few months later)

Before that I had a great boss but it goes back to when I was 18/19 & I feel that is rather historic, so who can I use now, my kids to say I am reliable, obsessive about time keeping and mainly organised and been busy ebaying to bring in some extra money any suggestions would be most helpful.

Thank you

jacqhale

Good luck with the job hunting!!
Have you helped out with any of your kids activitie i.e. scouts, brownies, school etc that you could get a reference from? You can use these as a back up to work references. I was in the TA for a while and use a reference from this.

Also, I'm no expert but most references these days don't say anything bad for fear of being sued so they just confirmed you worked in a certain position for a certain amount of time.
Most jobs don't take a reference before you start anyway (I think my current employer hasn't even taken one after 4months!) so if you put down your last position you would have been able to prove yourself anyway before the references came up.

I would say be honest about the situation when you go for interviews but you don't want to put a negative up to them straight away so see how the interviews go first and take it from there.

Hope it's helpful but is more my opinion than any fact-based advice!

What sort of a job are you looking for?
And most importantly GOOD LUCK!!!!

MrsTinks

If you haven't been recently employed then provide personal references or do some voluntary work in a charity shop etc for a while and ask them to be a reference.
For what it's worth then your previous employer can't give you a bad reference, worth they can do is give no reference other than to confirm you worked there from x date to x date.
One of my interview questions was always "If i was to call your previous employer what would they say about you or describe you as?" -That would be the time to mention that unfortunately you separated on bad terms due to you leaving suddenly when you were hospitalised. I were very sorry about their reaction as you had until then very much enjoyed working there etc etc etc. So long as you're factual and not b!tching about them then I'd rather hear about any such fall outs as a prospective employer

floss2

How about a vicar / priest or someone from your church? Or your kids' playgroup leader? PTA chairperson? Scout / Brownie leader?

Basically, any person "in authority" who has known you in their "professional" capacity for several years.

cazziebo

What kind of job are you looking to get and how flexible can you be? Women returners are still viewed as good recruits although right now the jobs market is still tight.

As an employer, I wouldn't really be that interested in positions from 12 years ago - too far in the past to delve into deeply. left to have your baby would be a fine response. I certainly wouldn't attempt to get a reference from a previous employer with such a gap.

Character references can be anyone who knows you well. I used to do references for friends who I knew from playgroup or toddlers or the church. Don't worry too much about a reference. It's a minor detail in your job search.

Don't downplay your ebaying - that is a useful pastime. You are marketing, selling, despatching, organising, responding to complaints/queries. Importantly, ebaying would suggest to me a good level of proficiency with a keyboard and the internet. You run a home and probably get two children to numerous activities. think of what skills the employer will be looking for, and then look at what you've done over the past few years that can demonstrate you have these skills.

mini

Thank you very much for your replies, I think you have solved both of my references, I have helped out at school reading with children and on school trips (not so much recently as my children find it embarrassing me going into school :rotfl:) I also helped out at Rainbows for a few years as assistant leader.

Thank you sooooo much :beer:

I don't really know what I am looking for to be honest, something part time, interesting & localish I have got to a stage where I feel quite bored at times as my children are older. I have done a bit of voluntary work too but we could do with some extra pennies/pounds.

Thanks again

mini

mini

I cross posted with Cazziebo, thank you for pointing out my computer experience, I have noticed some asverts asking for for computer literacy, I know I have it but no certificate, using my ebaying is a great example, thank you!

Edited to add - I used to be a board guide on here too, more evidence, I think I need to look more at what I have done, maybe my weakness is being dismissive of me, I feel much more positive now.