To adopt or not to adopt?

Jillinoz

I would write more because this is a subject very close to my heart, but my beautiful, bright and feisty adopted baby daughter is keen for us to go to the park RIGHT NOW. She's yelling 'swing' at the top of her voice and has just brought me my handbag and house keys. Her hints are none too subtle!

Please PM me and I will gladly regale you with my story of life as a single adoptive Mummy and my two-and-a-half year journey on the adoption rollercoaster.

The AdoptionUK website is an invaluable resource for would-be adopters, particularly the forums, where people tell it like it really is, and without the rose-tinted spectacles, because parenting adoptive children can be a very different experience to bringing up birth children.

Although not directly related to adoption, there was a moving and upbeat article in last weekend's Sunday Times Style magazine about the joys of life as a single parent, and the benefits for the child (I'm sure you will be able to track this down online).

Good luck

Jillinoz

funky_snow

Also going to subscribe to this thread - and see what discussions arise. Like the other person - I always assumed that as a single person this wasn't even a possibility.
I always assumed - meet the right man and eventually have a family - but it doesn't seem to be happening. Its put the thought in my head - to have a family and then maybe a man will or won't come along...
Will go check the links out...

Firefly

toxi wrote: »

Firefly - thanks very much for the website. I've had a quick look this morning, and it looks like it will be a great source of info. I'll definitely go through it in much more detail!

Thanks again for your replies - lots of food for thought!

T

Toxi for less than a tenner the book could be the best thing you could buy. If you can get to one of her talks then I'd recommend them.

Another good book if you like reading is:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Love-Matters-Affection-Shapes/dp/1583918175/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1249571171&sr=1-1

This can explain why love doesn't always conquer all. I don't mean to sound negative but if you can be aware and make a balanced decision then it'll make for a happier future. I know a young lady who's just going through her second broken adoptive family and it's very sad.

Brighton_belle

toxi - certainly don't feel selfish - you are looking to give a loving home to a child who is already here,and so far, for what ever reason, the odds haven't worked in their favour.
From adverts in our area and porgrammes I have seen, single people arewelcomed to consider adoption for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes because some children (obviously not babies) may have good cause to be placed with a single parent because of events in their past.

Good luck with your journey.

UKTigerlily

Jillinoz wrote: »

I would write more because this is a subject very close to my heart, but my beautiful, bright and feisty adopted baby daughter is keen for us to go to the park RIGHT NOW. She's yelling 'swing' at the top of her voice and has just brought me my handbag and house keys. Her hints are none too subtle!

Please PM me and I will gladly regale you with my story of life as a single adoptive Mummy and my two-and-a-half year journey on the adoption rollercoaster.

The AdoptionUK website is an invaluable resource for would-be adopters, particularly the forums, where people tell it like it really is, and without the rose-tinted spectacles, because parenting adoptive children can be a very different experience to bringing up birth children.

Although not directly related to adoption, there was a moving and upbeat article in last weekend's Sunday Times Style magazine about the joys of life as a single parent, and the benefits for the child (I'm sure you will be able to track this down online).

Good luck

Jillinoz

Would love to hear more & all about your journey & i'm sure the OP would too, don't be shy!

minimoneysaver

Jillinoz, do you happen to know if that article is on the internet? My mum has already put the magazine in the recycling bin... which was collected this morning! I'd really like to read it. I am really struggling to find the positive in single parenting at the moment.

Brighton_belle

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Jillinoz, do you happen to know if that article is on the internet? My mum has already put the magazine in the recycling bin... which was collected this morning! I'd really like to read it. I am really struggling to find the positive in single parenting at the moment.

It's here mini (((Hugs)))):

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6731725.ece

Mind you, I have now read it and I'm not sure it's going to help were you might be at? tips include "share a nanny"...
( and no criticism of original poster - it is positive and upbeat for certain circumstances and inspiration can come from all kinds of sources so it's good to share these books/articles etc becasue something might connect etc..)

flutterbyuk25

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

As an adopted child (as a baby in 1950), all I can say is that the lovely people who brought me up were always my darling mum and dad, never any doubt.

Here is a little poem my mum gave me and I always remember it.

I wish you well whatever you decide to do.

Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You grew not under my heart
But in it.

That poem is beautiful and made me cry! Thanks for sharing it.

OP - have you considered fostering?

x

minimoneysaver

Lovely article. Thanks very much for the link. x

toxi

Thanks for posting the article link. I've also gone onto the forums at AdoptionUK and found that they've got whole boards dedicated to single adopters! Who would've thought!! I've been on their site before, but somehow missed the forums!

I have considered fostering, but I just don't think I would be strong enough to bond with a child and then have to give it away. As it is, I hate leaving my nieces and nephews after spending time with them!

Jillinoz - would definitely like to hear your story! Sorry I haven't PM'd you yet - been hectic at work today. Sounds like others would also like to hear your story if you'd be happy to post on here?