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Has anyone else not told their partner about their debt and got through it? - Page 4

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Has anyone else not told their partner about their debt and got through it?

edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Debt-Free Wannabe
32 replies 16.6K views


  • I had to add my thoughts to this thread. I have just been through a messy divorce which in solicitors fees alone has cost me over £10k. My ex has taken further £22K in mortgage payments from me and yet the judge gave her 100% of the $140k equity in the house. The point being i am now £35k in debt and rising. I kept it back from my new partner for fear of being screamed at and called a failure. For months i lied to her and it just consumed me.
    I had no choice but tell her in the end. She did go mad but more because I had not been honest with her. And now, she is trying to help me get my life on track. She gives me the motivation and strength to deal with all my debts. We are stronger and closer now than we have ever been, but broke mind! But the hppiness outweighs it all.
    So my option is, I know first hand that trying to del with debt on your on is hard enough and keeping it a secret even harder! The truth is always the solution.
    I just wanted to say to all of you in debt like me, it does get easier. Never be too ashamed to ask for help.
  • PLEASE tell your partner.
    My husband kept secret the fact that he'd been drowning in debt for over 5 years. Our relationship had deteriorated for no reason I could understand other than his refusal to speak about financial issues. It is now almost a year since he was in the USA on business and I opened a letter which changed my life.
    It said that the mortgage had not been paid, and the bank refused to increase the overdraft. I made an appointment to see the manager and she thought I was going to faint when I realised the lies he'd told me, and how he'd hidden such a massive amount of debt. I had a week until his return to save our home and sanity. Thanks to financial advice and a wonderful next door neighbour I survived the week.
    The fact that he had not told me had me thinking all sorts of things - gambling, other women, a whole new family at one point? However, we are still together, have an IVA in place and our relationship is the best it has been for a very long time.
    So PLEASE tell your partner so he doesn't find out and go through sheer hell as I did.
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