Marriage Seperations - Just desperate for some advice!

masonsmum

Hi everyone

Well today I finally made probably the biggest decision in my life and I am going to seperate from my husband. Believe me this has not been the easiest thing to do however I have tried and tried for almost 2 years now and I just cant pretend there are feelings there anymore. My husband is a great dad and there are problems in both sides of the relationship. We have both had a tough time, he lost his mother and then I lost my young brother in a house fire when I was 6 months pregnant. Since the birth of my son things have never been the same and we are now two totally different people. It has got to the stage where I am living on my nerves, not sleeping, not eating and my moods are affecting my son. We have tried counselling sessions however this has made no difference.

I have spoken to my parents this morning and I can stay with them for a short while till I decide what to do on a more permanant basis.

We bought a new house 18 months ago for £82,000 and our mortgage is for £59,000. I dont see a way that I can possibly keep the house on by myself. I currently only work 16 hours a week however I was going to up my hours to 24 next week when my son goes to Nursery School.

What are my legal rights and would I have any possible option of keeping the house and would I be entitiled to any benefits?

Many Thanks for any helpful advice, I know this is normally the best place to come for an understanding view from both sides.

masonsmum

Bump - please anyone???

dawnybabes

((Hug))

Have you look at the entitiled to web site - www.entitledto.com

This will show you what you can claim

yoni_one

You could try calling Rights of Women regarding your legal rights - helpline number on their website www.row.org.uk

I hope this journey is as smooth as can be.

galvanizersbaby

dawnybabes wrote: »

((Hug))

Have you look at the entitiled to web site - www.entitledto.com

This will show you what you can claim

Hi OP

I would put your figures in to entitledto as the poster above suggests and then get some legal advice from a solicitor if I were you

Good luck

GotToChange

Hi hun - I hope you can work through this with minimal distress all round. On a practical level, I would advise -

1) Find a Solicitor who offers either a free half hour or fixed fee initial interview and have a a list of questions ready. You don't have to use this one but they can maybe give you some idea of the steps you need to take legally. If you know of anyone who has had good experience with their Solicitor, follow their recommendation.

2) You will have to be assessed for Legal Aid - again, through the Solicitor. Be aware that the Solicitor gets paid less per hour for Legal Aid cases so, with the best will in the world, they may not give you their absolute best. (It really is better to know this at the outset.)

3) Mediation will be suggested - to which both parties have to agree. It is usually a condition of Legal Aid eligibility although no-one can actually be forced. The aim is to keep legal costs down and hopefully avoid Court.

4) There is the divorce itself and ancillary matters - i.e. property, assets and children; all will have to be dealt with separately, although the divorce can be granted without anything being sorted out.

5) We are a "No fault" divorce nation - so the best route will be two years separation with consent, so you won't be divorced for quite some time but can of course "Move on" with your life in the meantime.

6) You are right that it is unlikely that you can continue to afford the house by yourself, although you may be suprised at the benefits etc that you would receive as a single person. It would also depend on what your husband would want or hope for regarding the property; this is something that could be resolved through mediation or between yourselves. Be careful about moving out and what you give up.

masonsmum

Thanks "Gottochange" lots of helpful advice there. I just hope we can resolve this like adults. I believe with my income and tax credits I should be able to afford the house and I have a very supportive family who would not see me stuck.

The best option I think would be for me to stay in the house so as my son can remain in his normal routine, however whether husband will agree is a different matter.

GotToChange

masonsmum wrote: »

Thanks "Gottochange" lots of helpful advice there. I just hope we can resolve this like adults. I believe with my income and tax credits I should be able to afford the house and I have a very supportive family who would not see me stuck.

The best option I think would be for me to stay in the house so as my son can remain in his normal routine, however whether husband will agree is a different matter.[/QUOTE]

The two sentences highlighted are very important as you know.

You are very lucky to have supportive family; I think it is the most important thing in the world.

I suppose your husband's agreement does rather depend on what he sees as the way forward. Of course, the usual expectation is that mother and child(ren) will stay in the house but as that's tantamount to him being thrown out, it seems a bit harsh. Finding the good compromise is the first step - so I hope that you can.

x

janninew

Hi OP

So sorry your going through this tough time, it won't be easy. I'm just getting to the end of a painful divorce so understand what you will be going through.

Now i don't want to worry you or be the prophet of doom, but you must get legal advice and know exactly what your rights are. Me and my ex started off being civil to each other, then he started seeing somebody else and things got quite nasty. I'm not saying for a moment that this will happen to you, but at least if you know what your rights are and what your entitled to its one less thing to worry about. My Mum was a lifesaver, making lists of things to do and people to contact (bank, mortgage company, coucil tax people etc) it really helped me and gave me something to focus on.

Good luck with everything and keep posting so we can give encourage and advice if you need it.

Take care
Jannine. x

onetomany

agree with above posts make sure you get legal advice it used to be once you moved out you didnt have the right to move back,

alwaysonthego_2

How old are your children?

Do you work?

Do you have savings over £6000

(asked to help with the benefits entitlements)