Husbands ExPartner and mother of his kids

amersall

cazziebo wrote: »

Does spousal maintenance come into it?

Depending on income and mortgage, they would be well advised to look at what he would be paying in child support. £250 per month for two children is not a lot.

Stand by what I said, this is a 20 year relationship which produced three children. He can't walk away from the responsibility because he's met someone else.

doesnt seem to me that he is trying to walk away, he is having the urine extracted, there is no reason his ex partner cant get a job and pay her own way, i wish i had a daft sod who would leave me and pay my mortgage

amersall

chriszzz wrote: »

My boyfriends ex paid him out of the mortgage. The house then became hers, which you would think most women would want!! He was paying her money for the children, he has since done it through csa, which he is now paying less. The system does not seem to be fair, I have a son from an ex who still lives with me, his dad does not pay maintenance due to him being unemployed. We declared us living together and my wages and his were added together, this is added b4 tax, national insurance and csa so if he is earning eg, £12000 a yr they take it like he is bringing that home, if u deduct tax, national insurance ,csa then he is actually bringing home eg, £8550 a yr, so its really false calculation, although he has to pay for his children and has never had a problem with that, we have had problems with his ex have used the kids and made it difficult for him to see, he has gone to see a solicitor and my wages have been taking into consideration, which I feel is wrong cos I too have a son to look after and while were having to spend money on an ex who plays the system I feel my son has to do without, it can be very disheartening :rolleyes:, even though she has her own wages, her new partner wages, part of my partners wages and yet we are the ones who have to pay solicitors. I think if women who play the system this way and have no evidence, should be made to pay the solicitors, it may stop them from abusing the system. If they know it will have to come out of there own hard earned money am sure they wouldnt be to eager to be vindictive.
Your boyfriends ex needs to get a full-time job, the kids are old enough now, she should be making her own contribution to her family and stop relying on her ex, while he is paying the longer she is playing!! Good look and hope it works out for you

well said, ditto

Floss

Tim_Nicholas wrote: »

Blimey, cheap house if the mortgage is only about GBP400 a month !!!

Not necessarily - our house was bought 20 years ago, and since the last interest rate drop, we now pay more council tax than we do in mortgage (which is currently just under £100 per month). Ours is a 4 bedroomed, 2 reception room 1930's double-bay terrace house.

Floss

ameliarate wrote: »

If she is paying it all out of the maintenance for the children does it affect him, i.e. he is not paying his half of the mortgage so therefore when they sell he will get half, less what he hasn't paid.

I believe that the OP's husband has bank statements showing the mortgage going from his bank account - if he gives her the money instead of paying the mortgage company, his ex may not pay all the money over to them....if she defaults then he is equally liable.

Personally, I would continue to pay the mortgage from his bank account - it is in his own interests to ensure it continues to be paid. After all, he will benefit from his share of the equity when the house is eventually sold.

yoni_one

amersall wrote: »

doesnt seem to me that he is trying to walk away, he is having the urine extracted, there is no reason his ex partner cant get a job and pay her own way, i wish i had a daft sod who would leave me and pay my mortgage

There may or may not be a reason why his ex cant get a job, but as for paying her own way, unlike her partner she is way behind in work experience and build up of skills to achieve a salary sufficient to buy the property, let alone have the confidence to compete with ambitious young people for jobs.

There is a huge imbalance because one was a SAHP and the other worked throughout.

JAM1376

Floss wrote: »

I believe that the OP's husband has bank statements showing the mortgage going from his bank account - if he gives her the money instead of paying the mortgage company, his ex may not pay all the money over to them....if she defaults then he is equally liable.[QUOTE]

I cannot agree more strongly with this. My OH paid his ex and assumed she was paying he mortgage with some of the money (this had been agreed in mediation). Nearly 5 years later he still has awful credit as she left the house to be repossessed and spent the money :eek: Not a nice situation, believe me. For the kids sake, we just had to accept it and get on with the ex and buy our house based just on my salary.

littleoldme_2

would he not have to pay the 600 for the children and half for the mortgage ?
so when the house gets sold he still gets his half ?

yoni_one

littleoldme wrote: »

would he not have to pay the 600 for the children and half for the mortgage ?
so when the house gets sold he still gets his half ?

Good point. If she is expected to pay all of the mortgage out of child maintenance then in effect SHE is paying all of the mortgage and he is paying none of it.

If she somehow did manage to buy another property and paid all of that mortgage out of child maintenance would the absent parent expect half of that property too?

Dancing_Shoes

Hmmm she sounds like a lovely lady telling you she would take some of your salary (been there got the t shirt):rolleyes:

Having been through the mill with a bitter ex I would strongly advise you seek out a good solicitor and deal with it that way as the CSA won't deal with the house. You should get a free initial consultation with most solicitors. If you felt she was trustworthy then agree on something amicably but if not then just deal with it the legal way.

I am sure she is more than happy with the exisiting agreement:rolleyes:, It takes two to decide to have a child therefore you should be prepared to have to contribute half towards the cost of your childrens upbringing. If you have been a sahm then that was again a choice and if that means that you aren't able to get straight back on the tallest rung of the career ladder then you have to accept that you cannot live the lifestyle you had prior to your divorce/seperation. I would accept that I had to support my children if my oh left us.

onetomany

think your wage will be included with the csa hun, my x moved in with his girlfreind and he has to pay double