Husbands ExPartner and mother of his kids

MrsGibson

:mad: Where do I start...

My husband was with his ex partner (never married) for 20 years, they have 3 daughters who are 18 (full time employed), 16 (Starting college) & 14 (full time education).

They jointly owned there house which they still have and my husband pays 100% of the mortgage plus gives her and extra £250 per months for the 2 younger kids. She works just a few hours a week and earns very little.

My husband has decided that he has had enough of paying for everything, we own our own home aswell and both work long hours to be able to afford everything.

He sugested that she looks into buying hiom out to which she replied 'Dont be ridiculous I can't afford that'. He is going to see a solicitor next week but just wondered if anyone had any advice....can he request the house to be sold!! she is perfectly healthy and able to work full time but just won't and my husband said has never wanted to!

She also said if she went to the CSA she was told that they would take my salary into account now we are married but after speaking with the CSA directly we now know that they only take the biological parents salaries into account!

Any advice greatly appreciated!!

MRSG

alwaysonthego_2

It seems like he is paying over the odds! He should only be paying his share of the mortgage.

He needs to see a solicitor asap, but she could get a court order to remain in the house until your daughters leave full time education. Has he got proof that he has been paying all this money out?

Dinah93

He should be able to significantly reduce what he pays to her and the house every month if the solicitor gets involved, however she might not have to sell it until the youngest turns 18.

Pee

He really needs to see a solicitor - as you say he is doing.

Because they weren't married, if he can prove the continuing 100% payments, he may be able to prove he is entitled to more than half of the house.

Hope all works out well.

MrsGibson

alwaysonthego wrote: »

It seems like he is paying over the odds! He should only be paying his share of the mortgage.

He needs to see a solicitor asap, but she could get a court order to remain in the house until your daughters leave full time education. Has he got proof that he has been paying all this money out?

Thanks for your reply......The only proof is the mortgage is paid out of his account direct to the mortgage lenders and then his bank statement shows the £250 every month into her account!

alwaysonthego_2

MrsGibson wrote: »

Thanks for your reply......The only proof is the mortgage is paid out of his account direct to the mortgage lenders and then his bank statement shows the £250 every month into her account!

That seems like good proof, I was just asking just incase she went to the CSA and said you hadn't been paying her.

cazziebo

Depends on what his salary is and what the mortgage payments are. The fact they didn't marry is irrelevant - they were together 20 years and had three children. I presume child rearing will have had an impact on the ex partner's ability to earn.

The CSA website has a calculator - you could work out what the payments are likely to be. It may be he's better off paying the mortgage and £250 per month for two children.

bestpud

cazziebo wrote: »

Depends on what his salary is and what the mortgage payments are. The fact they didn't marry is irrelevant - they were together 20 years and had three children. I presume child rearing will have had an impact on the ex partner's ability to earn.

The CSA website has a calculator - you could work out what the payments are likely to be. It may be he's better off paying the mortgage and £250 per month for two children.

I wondered that too.

How much did the CSA say he should be paying when you asked about them counting your income OP?

Also, how long have they been separated?

chriszzz

My boyfriends ex paid him out of the mortgage. The house then became hers, which you would think most women would want!! He was paying her money for the children, he has since done it through csa, which he is now paying less. The system does not seem to be fair, I have a son from an ex who still lives with me, his dad does not pay maintenance due to him being unemployed. We declared us living together and my wages and his were added together, this is added b4 tax, national insurance and csa so if he is earning eg, £12000 a yr they take it like he is bringing that home, if u deduct tax, national insurance ,csa then he is actually bringing home eg, £8550 a yr, so its really false calculation, although he has to pay for his children and has never had a problem with that, we have had problems with his ex have used the kids and made it difficult for him to see, he has gone to see a solicitor and my wages have been taking into consideration, which I feel is wrong cos I too have a son to look after and while were having to spend money on an ex who plays the system I feel my son has to do without, it can be very disheartening :rolleyes:, even though she has her own wages, her new partner wages, part of my partners wages and yet we are the ones who have to pay solicitors. I think if women who play the system this way and have no evidence, should be made to pay the solicitors, it may stop them from abusing the system. If they know it will have to come out of there own hard earned money am sure they wouldnt be to eager to be vindictive.
Your boyfriends ex needs to get a full-time job, the kids are old enough now, she should be making her own contribution to her family and stop relying on her ex, while he is paying the longer she is playing!! Good look and hope it works out for you

muffintop

cazziebo wrote: »

The fact they didn't marry is irrelevant - they were together 20 years and had three children. I presume child rearing will have had an impact on the ex partner's ability to earn.

Incorrect - the fact that they didn't marry is entirely relevant - she can make no claim to spousal maintenance (maintenance for herself). His only legal financial responsibility is that which the CSA expects him to pay - for two dependent children, that will be 20% of his net weekly income.

The children are old enough now for her to be working full time.

He can request that the house is sold and can ask for an order for sale through the courts, but likewise she can ask for a home for the children under the children act until the youngest attains her 18th birthday. There's no reason why it shouldn't be sold then. Again, as they did not marry, he can insist on a sale (although he might not get it until the youngest is 18) or on her buying him out. Or, if there is no sale, on her paying him a market rent to live there as he is deemed to be excluded from the property (even if he doesn't want to live there - it's a constructive exclusion if that house was originally meant to be the family home including him).

Married persons have many more rights on divorce than unmarried ones when they separate.

cazziebo

Does spousal maintenance come into it?

Depending on income and mortgage, they would be well advised to look at what he would be paying in child support. £250 per month for two children is not a lot.

Stand by what I said, this is a 20 year relationship which produced three children. He can't walk away from the responsibility because he's met someone else.