Dont know what to do!

carkeyz

Hi all.

Im really confused about what we are going to do! I am currently on maternity leave after having my first daughter but just dont think I can go back to work. I need to be around for her and the only option is to go part time and even then it would be pointless money wise cause I will just be paying for someone to look after my daughter.

But we wont be able to survive either way. I have tried looking for work and am still looking for evening jobs but am struggling and my DF wont let me work in a bar or a club!

What do I do? I want to be a good mum but this is hard!

Any help would be appriciated!

C

McKneff

Could you go back to your old job part time?

Look for a part time job during the day. I'm sure there are child care benefits from the state as well as working tax credits etc. You need to find out about these.

Try The Citizens Advice Bureau - they will help.

And congratulations on becoming a mummy!

Pee

Care work, such as nights in an old people's home or with handicapped people?

Have you checked what benefits you would get?

erichamster

Pee wrote: »

Care work, such as nights in an old people's home or with handicapped people?

Have you checked what benefits you would get?

How could the op work nights and then care for a tiny baby all day? :eek:
Don't humans need sleep?!
I don't have any children but I wouldn't consider this, are you sure you can't manage on your partner's income? It might mean giving up a lot but if you and baby are happier its gotta be worth it. Otherwise my only suggestion is working from home, but not sure how many options there are there.

chatnoir

Become a child minder

Loopy_Lobes

chatnoir wrote: »

Become a child minder

Yes I was going to suggest that too. Not an easy career by any stretch of the imagination but as you've got a little one already you've got experience and know what you're letting yourself in for! You need to be registred with Ofsted and do a short course, a First Aid course and be inspected to ensure your house is suitable. There's a limit on how many children you can have and the numbers include your own children. You can set your own hours but most Childminders work 8am-6pm although they might not have children all those hours, when I was minding I tried to only take children until around 5pm so I could make dinner and have the evenings with my own children which were school age.

It's not for everyone, but it's a worthwhile job that you could do for a few years while your own children are young. And your daughter would benefit from having play mates!

Have a look here for more information http://www.ncma.org.uk/MainWebSite/Homepageb51465f4.aspx?Map=163EB4336F1F8E141AF4FDF3DCD0FDA9

Katie-Kat-Kins

What does your partner earn, if you are prepared to compromise on your lifestyle you may be able to get by on one wage for a while. My friend and her husband manage with their little daughter on £18,000 a year, but this means, one car, no holiday, and being pretty strict, but they prefer being able to spend more time with their daughter than having all the trimmings.

If i were you I'd ask your current employer if you can return part time, they have a legal obligation to give your request fair consideration. If they say yes then this may be the perfect compromise. If they say no (you may have a tribunal case if this was an unreasonable refusal so take advice) then you can start looking for alternative jobs part time, there is lots out there but not much that pays enough to make it worthwhile to get childcare so look for evening or weekend work. Try supermarkets and DIY stores they have lots of part timers and pay a bit better than bars.

Also work out a full budget and consider what you actually need to live on. It is important to actually be able to make an informed decision so you don't feel resentful. Think about whether all of your spends are necessary, consider whether you could make cuts to manage on one salary for a while and decide whether this is a feasible proposition for you.

Discuss it carefully with your husband too, lots of people say that they HAVE to go back to work because they can't afford to live on one income when what they mean is that they can't afford to maintain their current lifestyle on one income. Realistically having children has always meant making cuts, you need to query whether the cuts are realistic and palatable or whether going to work would be a happier solution.

Things to think about are whether you need two cars, whether you could move to a cheaper house, whether you could run a cheaper car, whether you need holidays, whether you can reduce your shopping bills etc.

Post on here if you need some help.

Good Luck!

MrsTinks

why not post your various SOAs on here and see if we can find ways of bending the numbers to make them fit? It might be possible
If it isn't then going back to work may be what you need to do - that doesn't mean you'll be a bad mum, I have to return to work (unless we win the lottery!) next year after my ML finishes and whilst I know I'll miss my baby girl during the day then I know that we need my income as a family, I need the mental stimulation and it will actually be good for my child to not be clinging to me 24/7 but learning to interact with other people without me around her. Not saying I wouldn't want to stay with her, but just that I know I can't and I'm looking at the positives instead

Depending on what you do for a living - could you try negotiating working from home part of the time at least? I've requested to return to work doing 3 days from home and 2 in the office/on client sites - But I'd settle for 2 days a week (leaving room for negotiation ) and DH is requesting the same which would mean we'd only need child care 1 day a week hopefully...

carkeyz

Ive applied to all local supermarkets and shops that are open in the evening. I dont think I would mentally be able to cope with caring to be honest, my mum did it and I often saw her breaking down in tears. We have worked budgets out if I dont go back, if I go back full time and if I go back part time and any of them ways we just still wont be able to cope. We need to vehicles, we have a van which DF needs for work and a car as there is 3 of us but we have gone from a turbo'd car to a clio 1.2 so have cut insurance and everything, we have got rid of mobile contracts and sky tv, stopped spending money on junk and have a srick budget of £70 for food/toilettries and pet care.

I just dont know how I can cut down anymore than I have and either way I try and do it it just doesnt add up!

Damn you recession!

x

MrsTinks

post them up here and let's have a look - we might spot something you never know

MrsTinks

Also could you move somewhere cheaper? Bucks is pretty pricey (I should know... lived there for the last many years before moving just across the border to Oxfordshire... If I'd moved a little further north to Northants we'd be able to get a 5/6bed house for what our tiny 3 bed mid terrace costs here... *sigh*)