Can people with Asperger's ever have a long term relationship?

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2006 & im really struggling with it.

My marriage failed, my family don't talk to me & I have no friends, Im completely isolated from everyone, I feel like I don't get on with anyone.

I wondered if anyone else out there had experienced similar problems or whether im just an isolated case.

Id also like to hear of any success stories.

If you are going to be mean just keep moving as I don't need anymore negativity in my life.

Kind Regards Vicki

sarlyka

Hi Vicki,
I was diagnosed in July 2003. I'd already had 2 disastrous relationships and, like you, felt very isolated and depressed. I thought the diagnosis would enable me to get some support but there wasn't anything suitable available. In the end, I decided I had to do something myself. I had a course of cognitive behaviour therapy, joined a social club (not a dating agency) and forced myself to be sociable. I wasn't looking for a relationship but I met someone through the social club. We got married last year. He understands my autism and he's brilliant at reading my moods and adapting accordingly.
I now run a specialist autism consultancy.

Don't give up, it's early days since your diagnosis.

Saffronsmum

Hi, my daughter has Aspergers, i hope one day she will have a relationship, i know a few adults with Aspergers who are married, one of them is married to a man with High functioning autism. I have a strong feeling that my husband also has Aspergers (at times he is hard to live with).

I think it is possible for you to hold down a relationship but it may be that you will find it easier with someone who also has AS or ASD .

I hope you find that special someone xxx

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

asteroids_sara wrote: »

Hi Vicki,
I was diagnosed in July 2003. I'd already had 2 disastrous relationships and, like you, felt very isolated and depressed. I thought the diagnosis would enable me to get some support but there wasn't anything suitable available. In the end, I decided I had to do something myself. I had a course of cognitive behaviour therapy, joined a social club (not a dating agency) and forced myself to be sociable. I wasn't looking for a relationship but I met someone through the social club. We got married last year. He understands my autism and he's brilliant at reading my moods and adapting accordingly.
I now run a specialist autism consultancy.

Don't give up, it's early days since your diagnosis.

Thanks Sara, hopefully you are right & I will eventually manage to deal with my problems myself as it's still very overwhelming at the moment.

Im so happy for you that you have found someone who understands you & accepts you for who you are.

You are both very lucky & I wish you all the best.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

Saffronsmum wrote: »

Hi, my daughter has Aspergers, i hope one day she will have a relationship, i know a few adults with Aspergers who are married, one of them is married to a man with High functioning autism. I have a strong feeling that my husband also has Aspergers (at times he is hard to live with).

I think it is possible for you to hold down a relationship but it may be that you will find it easier with someone who also has AS or ASD .

I hope you find that special someone xxx

Thanks so much for your post.

I also have a 14 nearly 15 yr old son who also has Aspergers & im hoping he will manage to lead a successful life.

I know im hard to live, im trying to accept myself in the hope that others will accept me too.

looby75

Hiya BCS,

There is a mum at ds's school who is married to someone with Aspergers, he like you was diagnosed as an adult at the same time their son was being assessed (he too has Aspergers) they will have been married for 14 years this year. She has said that his diagnosis has made him easyer to live with as now she knows why he does and says some of the things he does where as before it used to frustrate her now she just lets it go

It can work, but like any relationship you have to find the right partner....you just haven't found yours yet. Hang in there and I'm sure somewhere down the line mr prefect is waiting for you.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

looby75 wrote: »

Hiya BCS,

There is a mum at ds's school who is married to someone with Aspergers, he like you was diagnosed as an adult at the same time their son was being assessed (he too has Aspergers) they will have been married for 14 years this year. She has said that his diagnosis has made him easyer to live with as now she knows why he does and says some of the things he does where as before it used to frustrate her now she just lets it go

It can work, but like any relationship you have to find the right partner....you just haven't found yours yet. Hang in there and I'm sure somewhere down the line mr prefect is waiting for you.

Thanks looby, ive been feeling so negative recently & it helps to know other people have managed to work things out.

Fingers crossed I will too.

Savvy_Sue

I don't know any female Aspies, AFAIK, but I'd say my FIL was definitely on the spectrum, and he's been married for over 50 years! I've known DH since we were at school, and he is very similar, but better socialised since he went to Uni - we've been married for over 25 years. I know another chap who I used to find extremely difficult to cope with, but he is married to a very understanding woman.

So, yes, it's possible.

When DS1 was diagnosed, I told a friend who asked what the signs of AS were, and when I told him he said "I'm one of those." He then said "When I was a teenager, I was very unhappy for a while because I was trying to be like everyone else, and I couldn't be. When I stopped trying, I was a lot happier." I don't know if that thought helps you at all? You're unique, you're special, you're you, and there will be those who appreciate that.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I don't know any female Aspies, AFAIK, but I'd say my FIL was definitely on the spectrum, and he's been married for over 50 years! I've known DH since we were at school, and he is very similar, but better socialised since he went to Uni - we've been married for over 25 years. I know another chap who I used to find extremely difficult to cope with, but he is married to a very understanding woman.

So, yes, it's possible.

When DS1 was diagnosed, I told a friend who asked what the signs of AS were, and when I told him he said "I'm one of those." He then said "When I was a teenager, I was very unhappy for a while because I was trying to be like everyone else, and I couldn't be. When I stopped trying, I was a lot happier." I don't know if that thought helps you at all? You're unique, you're special, you're you, and there will be those who appreciate that.

Thanks so much for that Sue.

You have all managed to make me feel alot more positive about myself.

Blackpool_Saver

Hi there, I am sorry to hear about your family not being there for you. Asperger is much more commonly diagnosed now and I wish people would try harder to understand the symptoms.
My son has a condition in the asd range also.
I hope things improve for you

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Hi there, I am sorry to hear about your family not being there for you. Asperger is much more commonly diagnosed now and I wish people would try harder to understand the symptoms.
My son has a condition in the asd range also.
I hope things improve for you

Thanks Blackpool_Saver.

I also have 2 son's on the spectrum & hope that by the time they grow up people will be far more tolerant of people who are different.

All the best for you & your son.