Advice...and hubby is being a stick in the mud!

bluecandy5

We've been in the flat for 4 years now and we've together 5 of those 4.

I never en-visioned us being here for more than 2 of these 4 and we have now outgrown the place.

I have a smallish £5000 debt but is paying off nicley with plenty of money to spare each month.

Current rent is £525 for a piddly 2 bed flat and I have seen beautiful 3 bed house for at least £450.

His arguments: We both need to be debt free, bills will be higher as will council tax and we wont be as close to the town as we are now.

I have looked into the following; council tax is a band lower, bills we be about the same, and he's beening to lazy about the distance as we have been lucky in our current location.

His debt is only £1000 at the most i think and i have £200 a month to put aside now before we move.

We have no more space in this flat and i hate it and i'm scared of if we wait 2 years as per HIS plan, they're wont be any in our price range then. He makes me cry all the time over this and refuses to even contemplate it.

My family are happy to help with deposit/rent for transistion period and i already have a fair amount saved up first.

I'm at the end of the tether and its beginning to affect my work.

I'm so upset.

munkypuzzel

Whats the question again?

bumpoowee

munkypuzzel wrote: »

Whats the question again?

Yes I think some clarification is needed here. Specifically what are the issues? Why do you want to move and why doesn't he want to move. Also:

"I have seen beautiful 3 bed house for at least £450. "

What do you mean by 'at least'?

bluecandy5

Sorry, i ment i'd seen 3 houses with 3 bedrooms. Different rental values £450 being the least.

He doesn;t want to move as it's not a great time and we have "no money"
I want to move as we have outgrown the flat and I believe its best to upgrade to a house before trying to get on the property ladder.

bumpoowee

To be fair, you aren't in a great financial position, don't forget moving is expensive (including removal costs + risk of losing deposit). If you do move you'll be tied into a contract for at least 6 months, are your jobs secure enough that this won't be an issue?

Also I don't think it's really necessary to 'upgrade' to a house before buying - after graduating I moved into a flat with my partner, and then into a 3 bed detached house a year later. The house was more expensive, but also had a lot of maintenance issues and we got sick of it and moved back into a flat. The flat we live in now is the smaller than the original flat + we now have a baby! But we cope fine.

But at the end of the day the real issue is you and your partner not seeing eye to eye on this. Would he be willing to move when your finances improve or does he just not want to move full stop?

Beardmidget

Hm- many men are naturally (small-c) conservative. We don't like change. if he is happy in your current flat, then I can imagine that it would be difficult to get him to move.

I guess all you can do it sit down and try to be very rational with him, and explain that it is getting you down. He may see you asking to move, and think you're simply spoiling for a fight at the minute, rather than being rational and explaining how you feel.

Incidentally, I suspect that a house will prove to be more expensive than a flat (in terms of bills) because of the greater energy needed to heat etc. You need to work out why he is resistant in order to get to the bottom of your problems.

Blacksheep1979

bluecandy5 wrote: »

i hate it and i'm scared of if we wait 2 years as per HIS plan, they're wont be any in our price range then. He makes me cry all the time over this and refuses to even contemplate it.

You do realise that if you move that in two years time they may bump up the rent to something you can't afford?

lynzpower

Yes bu black sheept they are already paying a lot mroe for less.

Rents have TANKED Uklwide, so of course moneysavers can get a great deal - better properties for less.

Why doesnt he want to save moeny on this crucial outgoing to reduce his debt? I dont get it. Is he ok with you being so upset you are crying, I mean, i just dont get what there is not to like about this plan, you have more space, less money, more able to psy debt off quicker,

Im totally confused, I can see why you are frustated!

Blacksheep1979

I'm just commenting on her concerns of not being able to afford xyz property in two years time, not saying they shouldn't be asking for a reduction in their rent.

Willsnarf1983

bluecandy5 wrote: »

We've been in the flat for 4 years now and we've together 5 of those 4.

I never en-visioned us being here for more than 2 of these 4 and we have now outgrown the place.

I have a smallish £5000 debt but is paying off nicley with plenty of money to spare each month.

Current rent is £525 for a piddly 2 bed flat and I have seen beautiful 3 bed house for at least £450.

His arguments: We both need to be debt free, bills will be higher as will council tax and we wont be as close to the town as we are now.

I have looked into the following; council tax is a band lower, bills we be about the same, and he's beening to lazy about the distance as we have been lucky in our current location.

His debt is only £1000 at the most i think and i have £200 a month to put aside now before we move.

We have no more space in this flat and i hate it and i'm scared of if we wait 2 years as per HIS plan, they're wont be any in our price range then. He makes me cry all the time over this and refuses to even contemplate it.

My family are happy to help with deposit/rent for transistion period and i already have a fair amount saved up first.

I'm at the end of the tether and its beginning to affect my work.

I'm so upset.

I don't get why you cry over it and if I was your bloke it would just make me dig my heels in more!

Work all the costs out and show him how quick the inital outlay would be and how many months it would take to pay this off before reaping the benefits.....but do it fairly without emotions being involved

Will

Pssst

Could it be that moving to a proper "family" house = babies? or do you already have some of those??