£18,000 in debt and can't seem to get out of it...

elantan

are you still spending the £70 a week on clothes? can you sell some of the clothes you have? i noticed last week your spends at weekend had came down...well done you are having the cognative shift needed...

i agree if you need migralive some things just have to be bought

how have you been going with your spending diary? how about magazines ...thankfully i never bought any ...but i kno there have been some very surprised people on mse when they realised how much they spent on them

and yes you are right about the spending if your mum spends that wee bit extra on herself then it isnt the end of the world ...we had a kinda arrangement with our nephew when he lived with us ...everyone was a winner

Nishka

elantan wrote: »

are you still spending the £70 a week on clothes? can you sell some of the clothes you have? i noticed last week your spends at weekend had came down...well done you are having the cognative shift needed...

i agree if you need migralive some things just have to be bought

how have you been going with your spending diary? how about magazines ...thankfully i never bought any ...but i kno there have been some very surprised people on mse when they realised how much they spent on them

Hey ya

No way can I spend £70 on clothes every week... I feel so silly about that now.. I suppose I was just miserable (I still am :rolleyes:) ... I am hoping this will make a huge difference.

Thanks for the well done..

We don't buy magazines or newspapers... so that's one thing less to worry about !!!!

elantan

it sure is ...and dont feel silly about it ...you were in a bad place at a bad time ...it couldve been much much worse and you are dealing with it now ...

i dont think it will honestly take you too long to make the changes that will work for you all ...but make sure they are ones that will work for you all ...no point in giving up the sky etc if you decide to go to the pictures every week for instance ....some people see having a drink as a nessesity and some say that is a luxury ...everyone has to do what is right for them ..

if it takes them 6 months longer to get out of debt then that is just what has to happen ...kinda like a diet ...you cant go all guns blazing then have a lapse and put all the weight (debt lost) back on ...or reach the ideal weight (debt free) then say hey i did it and go back to the old ways ...

is there anyway your hubby could have his hair done at a local hairdressing college? or even be a model for a salon ? or get a cheaper hair cut?


and if you are still unhappy you need to deal with this ...this is far far more important than getting out of debt ... (reading between the lines it is the debt though and you are working on it so job done)

Nishka

Thanks for your supportive posts I think you're right, I think the unhappiness is just due to my debt really.. and the fact I am in a job which I don't like very much for the sake of earning lots of money.. I am currently looking for other jobs, infact I have an interview for one tomorrow. It would mean a drop in salary of £3k but it would be 3 days a week instead of full time which would make me happier over all I think.. We can still pay the debts off (over the minimum payments) on this wage...

Well it's been an okay few days. I must admit I am starting to feel a bit desperate to go out and buy something (!aghhhh!) but I am trying to control myself.

I haven't brought anything the last week except food at work (spent £2-3 a day on lunch, and about £2 in the shop in the morning on the way to work on a snack for mid morning and a carton of OJ).

Husband has been slightly naughtier... He's brought something off ebay (£13.96) - some sort of Star Trek model I think - he collects them... It's frustrating that I ask him to watch his pennies and he goes and orders a model.. Hmm...!!

But then again, I know he will say it's only £13.96.

Daughter is going to France for a week with her dad from tomorrow (holiday) so I think this weekend is going to be hard for me to keep happy and busy without spending money... Esp as hubs is out all weekend for his leaving do's and paintballing at work!! (He's not normally out much at all, it's just a one off thing).

I have been actually using my loose change to buy things (2ps and 1ps) whereas normally I would just get out a tenner from the cash machine without even looking what I have in my purse (shocking I know).

So I am hoping that all these little changes is going to make a difference.

We have £500 of the overdraft left to last us till when I get paid - which is next Friday.. I hope we can do it!!! I think most of the direct debit bills have come out now, but may be wrong. I find it hard to make sense of them all..

I am going to look on money supermarket in a min to make sure we are getting the best deal on our electric... We got a letter from them yesterday to say we owe them £322 because our dd payments weren't high enough. I should be able to amend the payments to cover this but I think it's best to make sure we are getting the best deal.

Apart from all that money stuff, my house looks like a complete TIP so this weekend I am going to be cleaning for all I am worth- and that's free!!

Nishka

Grrrr.

I rang Southern Electric and they said in order to pay back the £322 we owe they have to put up our payments by £18 over 18 months. So it makes our repayments about £92!!!!!!!!

I looked online at the comparison sites and it seems npower would save us £200 over the year but when you consider the fact we have to pay £322 back to Southern anyhow the cost isn't that much to compare...!!

I am going to talk to hubby and mum later on and say that we really must turn everything off when it's off (no standby which I don't think we do anyway but worth mentioning) and so on.. I think it's high because we all like to sit in our own rooms in the house in the evenings and watch telly and go on our computers.. hmm..

I feel like such a nag with my mum and husband at the moment... !

nomorehandbags

hiya hun - you are doing something about it so that is main thing but i really really think that you need to get the bills off your mum and see what she is spending the money on. I know you will say you will get a house but thats really not going to help in the long term and your shopping bill does seem really high.

I know what you mean about spending money when you are unhappy - thats why i'm in the mess i'm in. 2004 was engaged to be married he ran off with his boss 5 months before the wedding - so out came the credit car to make me feel better! - then last a couple of years ago got married and he left after 3 weeks so out came the credit card and now nearly 14k in debt - STUPID i know and embarrassed about it - thankfully my new chap is really supportive and we get trhough it.
I have urge to buy stuff and not doing well yesterday as had money to take mum dad and sis out for a meal and beforehand bought cardigan for £26 in Zara, and a t-shirt in oasis sale for £8 - yes it came out of meal budget bt could have paid off cards - it is so hard!

You will get there as somebody else says its sometimes the final destination you should focus on rather than they journey. If you have money at end of month spare treat yourself to a lipstick and it will give you focus to savexx - but well done!!!! - i think the job thing will help to if you get this new one

Nishka

nomorehandbags wrote: »

hiya hun - you are doing something about it so that is main thing but i really really think that you need to get the bills off your mum and see what she is spending the money on. I know you will say you will get a house but thats really not going to help in the long term and your shopping bill does seem really high.

I know what you mean about spending money when you are unhappy - thats why i'm in the mess i'm in. 2004 was engaged to be married he ran off with his boss 5 months before the wedding - so out came the credit car to make me feel better! - then last a couple of years ago got married and he left after 3 weeks so out came the credit card and now nearly 14k in debt - STUPID i know and embarrassed about it - thankfully my new chap is really supportive and we get trhough it.
I have urge to buy stuff and not doing well yesterday as had money to take mum dad and sis out for a meal and beforehand bought cardigan for £26 in Zara, and a t-shirt in oasis sale for £8 - yes it came out of meal budget bt could have paid off cards - it is so hard!

You will get there as somebody else says its sometimes the final destination you should focus on rather than they journey. If you have money at end of month spare treat yourself to a lipstick and it will give you focus to savexx - but well done!!!! - i think the job thing will help to if you get this new one

Hi ya :j

Thanks for the post.. loving the name!!

Good luck with your saving and try not to beat yourself up about the top etc... I think you're human!

I think I am the same - I am an emotional spender... I spend money when I am down or upset.. it does cheer me up and this is a very difficult thing to get out of... !!

Thanks for the support xx

I am having an okay day today... Had my job interview this morning.. Wasn't quite what I expected but would still be better than where I am and it's part time so I think I would be less exhausted and happier... Although part of me is struggling with the idea that it's 3k less and surely if I want to pay off me debts I should stick with it... hmm

I brought my own lunch in from home today :T:T:T:T:eek::rotfl:

Just wonder how I am going to get through the weekend without spending ... My husbands out all weekend and he's going to spend £60 (£30 each night - they are leaving do's, it's been planned for ages)... I do feel a bit annoyed to be honest as now I have had my LBM i am thinking £60 :eek::eek::eek: -we could use that towards the debt!!

But I think the trouble is when you have A LOT of debt, the odd £60 doesn't appear to make a dent in it and you feel like you are living a miserable life for nothing.. if that makes sense.

We still have £450 left of the overdraft... trying to hold on to as much as possible for next week Friday when I get paid £1,700....

Then I plan to pay off £250 off the cc again.. (that's the idea anyway).

Will see...

Deep breath. Keep on going.

The one thing I am finding hard is that me and my husband only ever seem to talk about money and how tight everything is... I seem to have forgotten how to laugh!! :rolleyes:

elantan

ahhhh i can understand that one ...it does get very tense when dealing with money ....you will find something that will work for you both and be able to look back on it in years to come and laugh ....

incidently ...can i have your energy bill? i am over £150 a month for both ....and believe me i cut back as much as i can ...it gets on my nerves how much we spend its like a second mortgage ...well actually make that a third mortgage the council tax is the second mortgage ...sheesh money eh who needs it

Nishka

Hi, thanks for the reply... your energy bill makes me feel slightly better! (!)... it's so hard isn't it?

well one big thing happened yesterday ... our boss sat us down and made us all redundant!!!!!!!

The company has gone under so I don't have a job!!!

What the hell are we going to do??

I don't know if we can manage on my husbands wage alone - obviously I am looking for another job but I don't know how long this might take.

Disaster.

I have filled in the forms online to sign on (bearing in mind this is saturday) and I have rung tax credits to let them know and ask for forms...

So depressed.

gizmo111

Sorry to hear about your job, but hopefully the one you had interview for will be offered.
Will you get any redundancy pay? Will you get paid next week?
Have a look here www.entitledto.co.uk to see how much you would get on just one wage and then do a new SOA based on just one income.
Now is the time to look at that grocery bill, and discuss and plan with your mum how to cut it.
Did any of your debts have PPI on them?