£18,000 in debt and can't seem to get out of it...

Nishka

firesidemaid wrote: »

it really is the little things that add up......

£2.50 on a birthday card???? £6.00 on a lunch???

also, as others have said you really need to write down everything you pay for or contribute to. you say you don't have a car but contribute to this etc.

also, doesn't the batter from fish and chips have flour (gluten) in it or does your mum not eat the batter? you, your mum and your dd could all eat the same thing and leave your OH to eat his. o/wise your dd will learn from you all and start to have food phobias too.

when you have done an soa and budgetted for everything, also budget for pocket money each and keep to it.

good luck x

Thanks very much.. I know you are right :o... I spent £1 on a card instead and brought my husband a cheap book of paper airplanes.. (better than the xbox game I would normally get him)!

I spent £3.50 on lunch yesterday which is better than normal... And I am making sure I have drinks in the office rather than buying coffees etc.

The fish and chip shop we go to uses gluten free batter (we are very lucky - the owners have wheat intolerances too) so that's why we can all eat it.

LO doesn't have any issue with eating anything and everything - in fact she gets a more varied diet than most esp as she goes to her dads every other weekend and they eat differently again, she loves her grub

Thanks for posting x

Nishka

daily wrote: »

There is no money for life cover, and as the OP had already explained, it is unnecessary.

Exactly. Thank you x

Nishka

I managed to use some of my husbands salary to pay off some of the debts yesterday...

I paid £250 off the Capital One card - this brings it to £646.
I then transferred this balance to the 0% virgin card - so now we only have 1 credit card.

So I now have the Capital One and the Egg card (our old card) with Zero on them. I guess I should cut them up really. I am just worried we are going to get to the end of the month and be short... but I am trying hard not to let that happen.

So let's see how the next few days go....

The weekend is going to be hard because it's my husbands leaving do at his work (he's got a promotion to another store) and he's going paintballing (already paid for) and out in the evening. I think I will stay in all weekend (whereas I would normally go shopping with my mum and spend £70 easy -oops) and he can spend £20-30.

Pee

I haven't read all of the replies, but is there nothing that you can all eat as a family or at least two out of the four of you could eat. Cheese and tomato pizza is meat free and would that also suit your daughter, with you and your daughter having a side serving of sweetcorn or tomato salad perhaps? Can the soup be wheat free and your MIL have it with wheat free bread replacement?

sunshinejoclaire

Nishka wrote: »

Exactly. Thank you x

surely by taking sandwiches once a week, there would be enough for life cover?

Nishka

Pee wrote: »

I haven't read all of the replies, but is there nothing that you can all eat as a family or at least two out of the four of you could eat. Cheese and tomato pizza is meat free and would that also suit your daughter, with you and your daughter having a side serving of sweetcorn or tomato salad perhaps? Can the soup be wheat free and your MIL have it with wheat free bread replacement?

Hi

Thanks - we (me my mum and daughter) do eat the same things sometimes... but usually daughter will decide what she wants to eat depending on what everyone else is doing. My and mum usually eat heathily so it's not an issue in terms of us eating "badly".

I am not overly concerned about the food budget as I know it seems a lot by other peoples standards but even with a budget of £800 on food a month (which is an overestimate!) we should still have a lot left over - it's the spending on rubbish and "boredom" spends which are draining out money.

Thanks for the suggestions

nomorehandbags

hiya - Nishka I have read your post with interest as I too have no willpower but woke up and realised that it HAS to stop!!

I have moved back in with my parents and trying to be good keep a spending diary and save any loose change i have at the end of the week for a holiday i have booked so ok here goes here is my response to your initial budget and from one compulsive spender to another please don;t take offence - and reading yours has actually helped mex

1) Sorry but £35 a month on your husbands hair is ridiculous!!!!! - i don't even spend that on mine - how does he have it coloured (is it highlights or block colour?) - could he not do this at home and being honest there are not too many guys that get their hair coloured anymore

2) your hubby shouldn't have to fork out money for a trip - I tell youwhy i say this as i've done it - you book a trip/theatre whack it on the card and then when the people give you the money you fritter it away and not pay off the cards

3) - your hubby's diet - seriously he needs to go to the doctors as if this is as dire as you make it sound it really is quite serious and he may need counselling

4) sorry I really do think your shopping budget is way too high - you could cut that to £100 a week for 4 of you (youu say you don't buy alcohol) I appreciate that your mum has health issues but being frank i am sure that you could cook the same meal for you your daughter and your mum that is gluten free - there are some great receipes on the net FREE!!! - yay!!!

By the sounds of it by your own admission is is boredom spending - so get a diary and I hate to say this but really £6 a day on lunch is crazy when you have debts of £22k - yes i'd love to buy sushi from M&S everyday but realised that that £4 a day adds up to £80 a month an to be honest is much better spent on other things - so you would have £120 if you took sandwiches/pasta/salad every day - or even have a 'treat' day on a friday?

You mention neither you or hubby can drive - so what benefit do you get from the car? - where does your mother take you in it? - who paid for the car (if it was your mum fair enough!) but you may have to reduce your contributions to car while you get these debts cleared.

It is hard hun - i see something and i think wow love those shoes got to have them but honestly do i? - it is hard to change habits but it can be done.

elantan

hi n (said in a slow meeting drawl) i would suggest you dont keep the cards for emergencies ...close the accounts write the letter get it done with ...i had to do it recently as i was noticing i was keeping them just incase then just incase became ohh a wee loaf of bread here (at £20 why is it bread costs so much lol) ..

i have to say everyone appraoches their debt differently and only you know what will work for you but th ings that i have found really helpful is the spending diary ...i didnt get rid of the sky (its cable here though) like you we dont spend alot of money that we shouldnt ont go out etc so it is our treat and i think it is the least i can do for myself and family....

did you look into possibly having your overdraft reduced everymonth? even £50 a month would help i am sure ....

i am similar to you in how fussy i am with eating as well ...so i just went vegetarian it was easier in the long run ...and even if you are doing it for ethical reasons you have every right to and should never feel like you have to apolgise for yourself ...i notice you do that alot ...you explain yourself when there isnt a need ...n you are who you are and should be happy with you dont apologise dont explain (unless you want to) you can do it and i am sure you will

elantan

Nishka wrote: »

Hi

Thanks - we (me my mum and daughter) do eat the same things sometimes... but usually daughter will decide what she wants to eat depending on what everyone else is doing. My and mum usually eat heathily so it's not an issue in terms of us eating "badly".

I am not overly concerned about the food budget as I know it seems a lot by other peoples standards but even with a budget of £800 on food a month (which is an overestimate!) we should still have a lot left over - it's the spending on rubbish and "boredom" spends which are draining out money.

Thanks for the suggestions

can you break this down more ...i noticed you said that is petrol etc as well ...how much on petrol how much on special dietry food? ...it might help you see where you are spending exactly

Nishka

elantan wrote: »

can you break this down more ...i noticed you said that is petrol etc as well ...how much on petrol how much on special dietry food? ...it might help you see where you are spending exactly

Hi

That's the thing - I can't- because I just pay money into the "house account" as and when it needs it.. my mum does the food / household shopping and takes the petrol money from this. I never look at the receipts. I don't worry about it too much because we don't pay my mum babysitting or anything so if she spends a little bit in Tescos on herself or whatever I see it as fair game - it's all swings and roundabouts really! (She is living off us and we are living off her!)

It's just my usual blowing £70 on a weekend on clothes and rubbish that I need to try and stop.

I suffered with post natal depression for a long time and that's when all my bad habits started.. I went from being in credit, to being £4,000 in debt in a year. :eek: I think I was lonely and upset (in unhappy relationship at the time - left him and then met my now husband) etc etc.. I would think nothing of spending £150 on a days shopping for clothes and beauty stuff. I guess, shallowly... it made me feel better.

Then I stupidly got a personal loan to clear that and then started spending again...and then switched the balance and spent on the old card. All embarassingly common mistakes.. ...

So now I need to curb my own spending.

I just spent £2.50 on lunch and had to buy some migraine tablets - the Migraleve works best on me so that was £7.... bit annoying but I needed something to combat the nausea with the migraine and there the only thing that works. I did try the 39p paracetamol but they haven't got the magic ingredient.

Never mind... Keep going !!!! :rolleyes: