Children - Very large age gap

Glen0000

iamanalias wrote: »

It is pretty crazy when your OH has regularly questioned whether you should even have had the child you have now.

My my. For a new poster you do spend a lot of time stalking my husband. he said some of you were loopers on here.

iamanalias wrote: »

Out of interest, why are you saving for your daughter when you have outstanding debts?

We save the child benefit and tax credit money. That is hers, not for us to waste due to our own stupidity.

iamanalias

Glen0000 wrote: »

My my. For a new poster you do spend a lot of time stalking my husband. he said some of you were loopers on here.

I'm not a new poster. Username is a bit of a giveaway

Glen0000 wrote: »

We save the child benefit and tax credit money. That is hers, not for us to waste due to our own stupidity.

No it's not. It's paid to you to help you bring her up. Paying off your debts would be a far better use of it (particularly as your debts were potentially caused by having her so young and not using the child benefit/tax credit money to help buy what you needed for her!).

shirlgirl2004

I have 4 "children" 22, 19, 4 and 2. There's a 15 year gap between numbers 2 and 3. Number 2 was very miffed by the arrival of a younger sibling but number 1 wasn't. I have never asked either of the older 2 to change nappies or look after their siblings for more than 5 minutes (usually if I need to make a phone call without a child yelling in my ear). Subsequently I don't think they resent their younger siblings. Having them when you are older is so much different to being younger. I was so much fitter, patient and TBH more enthusiastic back then. We didn't have an issue with the holidays as when number 3 was young we carried on as before and by the time she got interested in Legoland then numbers 1 and 2 didn't want to holiday with us anymore.

I certainly didn't consult my older children about our family planning arrangements and I don't wish to be consulted about theirs (well as long as no babies move in with us!)

Money_maker

Glen0000 wrote: »

We save the child benefit and tax credit money. That is hers, not for us to waste due to our own stupidity.

Well your OH said in a much earlier post that the child benefit goes to sponsor 3 children abroad, perhaps that has changed as it was an old post.

I got a bit curious and had a look at some of your OH's earlier postings. TBH I think you will have your work cut out to persuade your OH to have another child. He has some very strong views on family - good luck if its what you want.

lolababy

There is an eight year gap between my dd and ds. My son loves his little sister and takes her out with him.
Circumstances meant that there was a big gap but things worked out well and both had one to one attention before starting school.

ellawood

sorry in reply to your questions mmmm dd1 was very very upset not a happy bunny at all for a long time as well as the fact was she the centre of our lives she thinks we were going to buy her cars and pay for alsorts of things which was never going to happen we both have had to work for what little we have she thinks she should have it for nothing we have aways do lots for her but I think we were a bit taken back by that
now she loves her to bits but will not change nappies and tells me to wipe her nose as she hates things like that she will look after her if I want to pop out for five min but that is it but I did not expect her to do more than that to be honest
on the older mum side that is not to bad at the moment I will be 40 soon but I do not feel it to be honest but I had to make a move to make friends will mums with younger children because mine all have teenage kids so I went to lots of mums and tots groups so made a few new friends too and I am not the oldest mum there but a lot ask is she my 1st and then ask after dd1 which school and so on well she had left and working at that point she is going back to college in Sept we will support her though that and of course if she wants to go on so we have not forgotten her she still is at the centre and well allways be she has had to learn to share us and she found that hard oh and they are full sisters. we were happy will one for a long time I got broody and oh was not impressed at 1st but we left it for about 2 years and I still was but I was shocked as it took about 6 weeks for me when we were ttc

mine was a little bit empty nest I think so if you have time to think about it would be a good idea but I have no regrets it was tough telling dd1 and she was unhappy for a long time but she did get over it