'I've got Autism' Badges. What are your thoughts please

blue_monkey_2

On another note though, I find loads of slogan t-shirts with rude and offensive things on unacceptable too - especially as I have a child learning to read and who wants to read everything and then wants an explaination of what the words mean - I suppose what offends someone else does not offend another. And so I suppose that answers my question though.

real1314

OP

I don't want to get into an argument with you. The key word in the phrase you have picked out is "likely" - I'm sure there are plenty of situations where it is less likely to happen than in others - a kids play area is one where kids are likely to be more boisterous, so maybe that's not the best place, as it would be difficult for anyone to distinguish between the cause of the behaviour? there are loads of places you can spend time togther in a social environment where people are less densely packed together. Country parks might be a good option.

Regarding the t-shirt or badge, maybe a bade may be the better option - as someone esle said, I could see some people wearing such a t-shirt as a "joke" - equally as unfunny as the vulgarly offensive ones, if not far more so.

Anyway, good luck with everything.

[Deleted User]

Your sentence sums it all up really blue_monkey, very well put. You have given us all something to think about with this thread.

blue_monkey wrote: »

And it is the lack of understanding that makes it so very hard.

This is a quote from David Cameron this morning re his son's disabilites " Describing his feelings on learning of Ivan's disabilities, Mr Cameron said it felt like being on a journey which he never intended to take, without a clue as to which direction to go in"

Could I add also "feels like wearing wellies, running through treacle, being stared at and occaisionally poked by people with sticks"?

Until we can educate those without disabilities to fully accept those with we are always going to have this problem. If people like David Cameron threw his weight behind us then that would help.

sassi

blue_monkey wrote: »

They have badges on the NAS website that says 'please be patient, I am auttistic' or 'I have autism so my behaviour can sometimes be unpredicatable'. I am tied on these, half of me things I am throwing my child disability on peoples face and the other half of me thinks 'stop staring' if he is throwing a strop.

So I wondered what people's thoughts on these were, whather they are good or bad. If you are mum of an ASD child, what slogans do think are good and which are bad?

Recently we went for a day out and DS was in a queue for a bouncy castle, he had already waited really well in one queue but he got into this queue and he hit the little lad in front of him. For him it was not aggressive, he was marking the place he was in the queue but obviously this is not acceptable. I said sorry to the little boy but did not explain why he did it as he was only 5 or 6 so he would probably not understand but then I've either got to put up with the parents death stares or go and explain to them why he has done it.

I took him to a soft play area and a little boy punched and slapped him, because DS has to see justice for wrong and because this little boy never got a punishment he then went and punched and hit 2 other children which had the mother over to me screaming in my face about my son hitting her children. I took her over somewhere quieter and explained and she said she was sorry, I took him aside and explained to him he could not do that.

But I am sick of having to apologise for every little thing and having people staring at me if he is kicking off and I dread going places these days - if he is not co-operating I get stared at all the time. So, in this respect a badge or sticker (I do not think he would wear a t-shirt in all honesty) would tell people why he is doing this and would hopefully stop them staring.

I'd love to know what you would think, as a bystander, if you think it would make a difference. Thanks.

ETA: I've changed the title to badges because although you can get both it is the button badges I was more interested in.

As you can see from my sig, i have a daughter with Autism.

My feelings are very similar to yours, in that i don't want people just to see my daughter as a disabled child, when she is so much more than just a label.

However, she has a tendency to get a bit close to people, really near their faces such as people working in shops etc, asking them what they are doing etc.
This can be quite embarrassing for me, even more so than when she has a loud outburst. Thats when i'd like them to know why she is doing it.
But i have not yet explained to my daughter about her being different or special, nor explained to her about Autism (i just don't know how) and she is 9 years old and can read fairly well, so there is no chance of me getting anything like that now!

Good luck in the future, and congratulations on having such a unique special child.
As my sig says, there is nothing i'd change about my daughter. We should not HAVE to explain to others about our children or make excuses for them, they are just expresseing themselves and trying to make sense of a crazy world.

geordie_lass_2

blue_monkey

I have a son who has challenging behaviour too, the way you describe how you feel sounds very familiar to me. I used to tell myself, and I believe this, that when he behaved in a challenging way in public that people would be more understanding if they saw that I was trying to help him rather than just ignoring his behaviour, I had enough on my hands helping him at that moment without trying to educate the world on diversity and special needs. Having said that, often some people would have been satisfied with nothing less than a public lynching, an apology or any sort of explanation wasn't enough for them, but that's just "some people" for you.

It's easier for schools to cope as they don't take the stares, nudges and other people's reactions personally, as parents we feel protective and distressed when we see our children getting into difficulties.

I would be against asking my child to wear a badge to explain his difficulties but have you considered wearing a badge yourself when you are out with him? This way it would still alert people that he had difficulties and that you were supporting him but you wouldn't be labelling him as such. It could be small and discreet, maybe a AS pin badge if they do such a thing.

Big hugs to you blue_monkey, and everyone who is supporting a child who is special.

babyhead

I find this thread really interesting. My nephew is 4 and is on the autistic spectrum and some times when we are out he can get very agressive. We went to the park a few weeks back and his behaviour changed and was lashing out at my SIL very agressively. She knows how to handle him but others at the park were staring and making comments about how bad her parenting was (:eek:) I thought she handled situation very well.

I think people need to understand that things aren't always what they seem and looks can be very deceptive. I agree that it is just ignorance. The comments are hurtful to my SIL not my nephew as he doesn't understand. I don't think it would help for him to wear the badge but I think it would if my SIL did. I will mention this website to her. Thank you There seems to be hardly any support available for my nephew - he starts school in sept so hopefully things will improve.

mrcow

sandracarol wrote: »

why is that?

Okay - my first thoughts when reading the opening post were that it's cruel to have someone's disability plastered over a t-shirt - acting as a kind of neon sign. I wouldn't want my problems aired on my chest for all to read and I therefore wouldn't do it to my children. I wouldn't have thought that most people wouldn't read it anyway personally but it's still the "labelling" idea that makes me very uncomfortable.

Anyone who knows the child personally will already be aware of the issues and so this t-shirt is aimed more at strangers. I personally don't think it's anyone else's business. If you're doing the best you can, then you don't need to wear your heart on your sleeve and explain your life away to any passing stranger on the of chance that they may "tut" at you.

Even if the OP did use such a t-shirt, she's still going to be needing to apologise if her child hits anyone (for example). Having a t-shirt won't negate the need for this. And it isn't going to stop people looking if her child is kicking off in a public place.

To me, all I can see it doing is drawing more attention to the problem by the child wearing their problems on their shirt.

Does that make sense?

Obviously I understand what she's saying about being exasperated by the whole situation. I just don't think this is an acceptable answer.

Prinzessilein

I am on the Autistic Spectrum. (Dyslexic, Severely Dyspraxic and Aspie)....although getting on on years (Mid/late 40s) I have only recently been diagnosed.

Personally, I love the idea of these T shirts and badges! I wouldn't wear them on all occasions (just as I don't wear other slogan T-shirts and badges on all occasions!) But there are times I would wear them for comfort - reminding myself of who I am! (Sometimes I get frustrated with myself and need to remind myself that the way I act is 'normal' for me!)...sometimes I'd wear them if I knew I was going to be in a situation where I might need people to know I'm autistic....and sometimes I'd wear it just for the sheer fun of it! (Odd though it may sound, I've learned to be 'proud' of my Aspieness - it makes me the wonderful individual that I am!...and yeah, some of you will take exception to the word 'proud', but I can't think of how else to express it)

I would like badges/shirts that state 'I'm not drunk - I fall over cos I'm dyspraxic!'...'Patience please...I'm Aspie'....and 'I have a learning DIFFERENCE ....not a learning DISABILITY!!!' (Last one is very important to me....I am bright, I have postgraduate qualifications, I am more than capable of learning...I just learn 'differently')

I have thought of having cards made...sometimes I have a verbal tic (especially when in crowds and stressed) and I swear violently. I can't always control this. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it might help if I (or my companion...I rarely go out alone) could quietly offer the card instead of stumbling through an apology.

In reply to the OP, I think you need to consider each case on its merits. I'd get your son the badges, and talk through when and why he will wear them.

sassi

Prinzessilein wrote: »

I am on the Autistic Spectrum. (Dyslexic, Severely Dyspraxic and Aspie)....although getting on on years (Mid/late 40s) I have only recently been diagnosed.

Personally, I love the idea of these T shirts and badges! I wouldn't wear them on all occasions (just as I don't wear other slogan T-shirts and badges on all occasions!) But there are times I would wear them for comfort - reminding myself of who I am! (Sometimes I get frustrated with myself and need to remind myself that the way I act is 'normal' for me!)...sometimes I'd wear them if I knew I was going to be in a situation where I might need people to know I'm autistic....and sometimes I'd wear it just for the sheer fun of it! (Odd though it may sound, I've learned to be 'proud' of my Aspieness - it makes me the wonderful individual that I am!...and yeah, some of you will take exception to the word 'proud', but I can't think of how else to express it)

I would like badges/shirts that state 'I'm not drunk - I fall over cos I'm dyspraxic!'...'Patience please...I'm Aspie'....and 'I have a learning DIFFERENCE ....not a learning DISABILITY!!!' (Last one is very important to me....I am bright, I have postgraduate qualifications, I am more than capable of learning...I just learn 'differently')

I have thought of having cards made...sometimes I have a verbal tic (especially when in crowds and stressed) and I swear violently. I can't always control this. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it might help if I (or my companion...I rarely go out alone) could quietly offer the card instead of stumbling through an apology.

In reply to the OP, I think you need to consider each case on its merits. I'd get your son the badges, and talk through when and why he will wear them.

thank you for sharing your opinion, its really helpful:T

frugallass

aliasojo wrote: »

I see it more as a plea for understanding. I dont think anyone would use either a badge or a t-shirt as a method of advance 'apology'.

It still wouldn't work - there are far to many 'joke' tshirts and badges on the market - not everyone can see a tiny badge and tshirts can be easily covered by coats / jackets

do I start wearing one that says 'pre-menstrual' or 'post menopausal' (in a few years time lol) when my behaviour starts to irritate my family ?