Marriage v. co-habiting

Debras_Angel

hrafndot wrote:

No sign of Victor Meldrew yet, he is normally very sunny. Except when his is in the car!!!! He really worried me the other day when I tried to speak in the car. He said "don't speak, I can't think and drive at the same time".

I'm driving from now on

That made me chuckle, I won't mention the driving but I prefer to drive!

Say no more.

Debs

Debras_Angel

Women your age are still having babies, something the 'old' are incapable of.[/QUOTE]

Dora the thought of it...late 40s and babies.

Although I know lots of people do, it wouldn't be for me.

The only one I'm having is a stepgrand child in July at least I can hand them back!

They have already started to call me EVIL Step Gran as my nickname now is EVIL step mom (but in the nicest possibel way).

Cheers

Debs :rotfl:

talkshop

Kimberley wrote:

If you live with someone without getting married at least you can just chuck them out without the mess of a divorce

Not as simple as that young lady.

Never, ever, live with anyone fulltime unless you are married.

Especially if you are a man living with a woman

The woman will claim that she owns half of your house, and rob you for every miserable penny she can get her tiny mitts on.

Never have a joint mortgage or bank account, or she will take the whole lot.

If your female partner also employs a female solicitor, you have no chance of winning the case.

Sad but true.

Debras_Angel

talkshop wrote:

Not as simple as that young lady.

Never, ever, live with anyone fulltime unless you are married.

Especially if you are a man living with a woman

The woman will claim that she owns half of your house, and rob you for every miserable penny she can get her tiny mitts on.

Never have a joint mortgage or bank account, or she will take the whole lot.

If your female partner also employs a female solicitor, you have no chance of winning the case.

Sad but true.

Sorry talkshop but not all women are the same! :eek:

If this has been your experience then you will have a different perspective on it but don't tar everyone with the same brush!

Cheers

Debs

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Interesting perspective from Talkshop. It matches the 'All men are b******s' view. Of course, both are unrealistic.

Debras_Angel

Dora_the_Explorer wrote:

Interesting perspective from Talkshop. It matches the 'All men are b******s' view. Of course, both are unrealistic.

So so true, it would be a strange world if we were all the same :rotfl:

calleyw

From personal point of view. I feel if you have to ask the question should we get married or co-habit then I don't feel you are ready for marriage.

My husband and I knew from the start we where in for the long haul. And we knew we would get married once finances would allow us.

I read a US study that said the longer you live together before getting married the more likely the marriage would fail. Unless it was due to financial reasons.

To me there is more to getting married than the rights it gives for IHT and pensions etc. To me it was a public commitment to show that I love my husband. It felt right and we knew it was the right thing to do for us. (Even though I am still use Miss and use my Maiden name :rotfl: )

My husband said it was the happiest day of his life when I stood up and said I will.

I hope what ever you decide that you are very happy.

Yours


Calley

margaretclare

calleyw wrote:

From personal point of view. I feel if you have to ask the question should we get married or co-habit then I don't feel you are ready for marriage.

To me there is more to getting married than the rights it gives for IHT and pensions etc. To me it was a public commitment to show that I love my husband. It felt right and we knew it was the right thing to do for us. (Even though I am still Miss and use my Maiden name)

I agree. I dislike the mercenary aspects that creep into this kind of a discussion.

Either you want to stand up in public and declare your commitment to each other, or you don't.

When my DH moved in with me in 1997 he always said that he didn't want any part of my estate. I, conversely, was concerned about what would happen to him if I died still having a mortgage - unless the mortgage provider allowed him to take on the existing mortgage then he could be homeless. When we stood in church and said 'all that I am I give you, all that I have I share with you' we both meant exactly that.

Whether you say those words in church, in a register office, or anywhere else allowed, is irrelevant. It's the words themselves, and the meaning behind them, which is important.

Margaret Clare

hrafndot

I think that some contributors may have misunderstood the reasons behind the query in the first.

It could be that a person is emotionally ready for the commitment of marriage but has no concept of the financial complications this move will bring about.

This was the rationale behind my question. I am not religious nor am I inviting judgement. My partner knows me well enough to know whether I would honour this commitment.

"If you have to ask the question then you are not ready" is not a rational statement. It seems to me

calleyw

hrafndot wrote:

"If you have to ask the question then you are not ready" is not a rational statement. It seems to me

Why is it not a rational statement. If you have to ask other people should I get married then I don't agree you are ready for marriage. I have seen this question asked many times on many different forums before.

But I must admit I must have skimmed read the OP and the marriage and money bit etc got stuck in my mind. That is why reply sort of verred off course.

I can't think of any major financial complications as you call them to getting married apart from divorce. If you live with someone and have joint accounts you are already financially tied to that person anyway.

There are a couple of advantages to be married such as passing as much money between spouses without the IHT seven year rule kicking in. As well as no IHT to be paid on leaving an estate over 265K (Or what ever it is now)if it is being left to the living spouse.

But I do think getting married to save on IHT might be a bit extreme :rotfl:

No-one was judging you. Not sure where you get that from.

I never thought about any financial complications in the run up to during or after my wedding. As I was getting married for my personal reason which is I am in love with my husband. (Not that I am saying you are getting married for money or anything like that)But I still rather stuck on what financial complications are Maybe I having a blonde day today.

If one of you had a lot of assets that they wanted to protect might sort of understand not wanting to get married. But then that to me is not in the spirit of getting married or even being in a committed relationship. It is share everything.

What ever you choose to do. Good luck and if you do get married have a great day and enjoy it.


Yours


Calley