Feeling extremely upset and angry!

foxyd3vil12

Today has been near enough one of the worst days of my life! Things have totally gone from bad to worse and im either crying my eyes out or briming with anger!

my sons father (my soon-to-be ex husband) hasnt given me money for him for three months! i ask every friday to remind him and still he either forgets or has lost his bank card or pin or something else! then by monday, hes begging everyone he knows for money including me! i was extremely short this week due to a large direct debit out for gas and electric. he knew i needed money but still i have nothing off him.

then im looking through my payslips for the last 6 weeks to find they have not paid me for around 6 hours. i know it does not seem much but the money those 6 hours would bring in would have helped me plenty! boss wont do anything about this and wont pay me the money as thats the person he is!

then a neighbour of my mothers decides to stratch my car for parking in her space! i pay road tax, so that does entitle me to park where i want obviously excluding no parking zones/double and single yellow lines! cheeky little cow she is. love my car to bits as i used alot of savings to purchase my car. the car and my boy are pretty much all i got.

right now, im just feeling really really annoyed. have stopped crying now but just feeling really !!!!!!! just needed to vent it out!

LJM

ah i feel for you sounds like you have had a really crappy day,cant you report your ex for non payment of maintanace

MummyMoo

I can offer you a hug *HUG* and a story of my horrid day too?

My daughters father moved out three months ago cos his mum assaulted in whilst I was facing my daughter and he took her side.He lives with his mum and dad now. He hasnt paid me a single penny. I lost my job last friday. I've been trying to make arrangements every week for us to get together on common ground (such as a pub) for us to work towards getting the family back together but he makes excuses every week. I had a half an hour talk with him on the phone this morning, things were hurtful but not aggressive (very unusual for him) but then his dad in the background starts repeating '!!!! off'. I told him could he please put his dad on, cos if he has something to say he needs to say it (grandad has previously told me that i was nagging father cos I phoned him one time during the week to tell him his daughter was ill). Obviously grandad didnt want to talk to me, so I drove down. They were doing gardening in the front, he stood squaring up to me (a 50 year old grown man) with a mallet in his hand, then sprayed me with the hose repeately in the face, yelling at me that he's gonna phone social services and get my daughter taken off me (cos im bipolar) and that Im a really bad mum, and trailer park scum. Father then phoned the police to get me removed but I left. Yet daddy is still wanting to have our daughter tommorrow and have her sleep over that night with nan and grandad!!!

pretzelnut

Contact the CSA - he wont be able to avoid them. It will save you the hassle of nagging him for it.

But try not to let things get on top of you, we've just been through a terrible fortnight and it got to me that much that i was seriously thinking about giving everything up and leaving the country to start afresh, everything really did seem like it was all too much but we muddled through and were on the happier side of the street now, and much stronger people for going through what we have gone through.

SuzyWuzy_2

I think as all else has failed on the maintenace front then you do need to contact the CSA - but believe me this can be a VERY lenghty process but at least then you won't have to ask for the money every week. You not getting it now so don't rely on it. I know this is easier said than done but if you do receive it then it's a bonus. Thats speaking with the experience of waiting 7 years with 4 children and waiting for maintenance.

If you cant have your overtime back in money then Can you not claim the extra hours back in time back as owed to you? No harm in asking. I know this isn't what you want but at least it's something.

As for the car -Is it bad? Is it worth contacting the police / insurance over?

Theres nothing worse than money for winding people up. I've been through it all with my ex and now thankfully don't care anymore as they are my children at the end of the day so i have to support them myself.

Deal with each thing that's thrown at you one at a time. It does get easier.

Emmzi

hugs, honey.

anything you could take to a car boot sale tomorrow to try and get a few bob to tide yu over? bric a brac? stuff the kids have grown out of? may not make much but it sound like it'd help a lot right now.

re: car - it's only a car, you and kids are ok?

get the csa on your ex. And if you are on speaking terms with his parents, call them and ask for some cash for food for the little one as their son ids being an !!!!.

hugs.

foxyd3vil12

thank you for all the advice

i will be contacting the CSA first thing on monday. see if they have any luck getting the money out of him.

i am on speaking terms with his parents and they know he gives me nothing. the day he gets paid, it all gets spent! on what i do not know because he has nothing to show for it.

think everyone who has posted has had an ex who is pain in the backside!!

as for the car, i know its just a car but its my car. tried t-cut but still some deep areas.

still feeling really awful right now and cant concentrate on anything. got an important year ahead with the dissertation and i feel like this!

bulchy

LJM wrote: »

ah i feel for you sounds like you have had a really crappy day,cant you report your ex for non payment of maintanace

.................and the horrible !!!!! for scratching you car, sorry dont have any advice for you, hope things get better for you and your son
sue x

January20

foxyd3vil12 wrote: »

thank you for all the advice

i will be contacting the CSA first thing on monday. see if they have any luck getting the money out of him.

i am on speaking terms with his parents and they know he gives me nothing. the day he gets paid, it all gets spent! on what i do not know because he has nothing to show for it.

think everyone who has posted has had an ex who is pain in the backside!!

as for the car, i know its just a car but its my car. tried t-cut but still some deep areas.

still feeling really awful right now and cant concentrate on anything. got an important year ahead with the dissertation and i feel like this!

I contacted the CSA for maintenance when I separated from my ex because I knew very well his priorities wouldn't be our daughter but the beers in the pub with his mates. The CSA take the money out of his salary before he gets it, so he doesn't have a chance to spend it and make excuses. Definitely the way to go for you.

Glitzkiss

foxyd3vil12 wrote: »

then im looking through my payslips for the last 6 weeks to find they have not paid me for around 6 hours. i know it does not seem much but the money those 6 hours would bring in would have helped me plenty! boss wont do anything about this and wont pay me the money as thats the person he is!

You may want to ask for some advice about the unpaid hours in the Employment, Jobseeking & Training board. Your boss has to pay you for the work you have done and the experienced folks over there should be able to advise you on how to get the money you are owed.

busiscoming2

What an awful day. Just to say if your ex is employed then CSA can have deductions made at source, but if he is self employed it could take literally years and years. My ex never paid (we split in 1995) I am still waiting for the bulk of arrears!!

Surely legally your employer HAS to pay you what he owes? Could you not ask the CAB for advice?