Food for 2 weeks for lazy 18 year old!

robpw2

does he not claim jsa? i would suggest that you give him just £47.00 a week for two weeks (thats about equivalent to jsa)
and make him buy his own food etc ..

get him to do some chores around the house to exchange for luxries such as a crate of beer .. a pizza ,etc before you go
if he wants to behave like a child you have to treat him like one ..

robpw2

Atomised wrote: »

He is 18 and should be able to feed and water himself for two weeks! Remember - he will be some poor woman's bloke one day so it is time to start training him.

maybe lol he could be some poor mans wife too

Penelope_Penguin

mae wrote: »

Mmmm just thinking what the response would be if I asked him to mow the grass 'erm what with?' or 'how do I do that?' or 'whats a law mower?' or even ':eek:'.

Sorry to be blunt, but how has your son got to the age of 18 and isn't able to do basic things for himself Mine are 16 and 14 and can:

• cook a basic meal for the family
• go to the Co-op to buy provisions for a meal
• make pies, cakes, biscuits
• mow the lawn
• look after the chooks
• do basic maintenance jobs - change fuse or plug, sew on a button, etc
• clean up and tidy away after themselves
• loads more to think of atm

I have to thank Guides and Scouts hor helping me in this (they're both Explorer Scouts now :T )

You say your 18yo is "on holiday". That implies he's a student about to go to university. How will he cope there

I'd give him £2 for each day you're away, a basic cook book, and if he spends it on noodles and beer, that's his look-out If he wants more money than that I'd offer it in exchange for keeping the garden and house tidy.

Penny. x

ubamother

OK - I'll be the first to admit it - my initial reactions - let him earn some money, make him get off his backside blah blah blah. Then I realised, that awful turning point has come - I have turned into my mother. AAAAAARRRGH.

He's 18 - for boys I'd say that's a girl age of about 15.

Many 18 year old boys (and 15 yr old girls) generally flollop around being pathetic - they aren't only this way because we made them this way - they are this way because they are.

OP - please don't think that all around have happy smiling unlazy active - my daughter was soooo like this but slightly earlier (see above) and returned to her lovely active funny self in the goodness of time. And yes, she cooked like a demon from a very early age, then even putting the kettle on became toooooo hard!

None of this helps on the what to do front, but please don't feel it's all your fault or that every one else has happy smiling helpful teenagers. I think everyone should have the opportunity for 'phase' like this - if they don't do it at his age perhaps it'll all happen in a mid-life crisis when he's married with two kids - so at least you can say you've helped save him from that!

mae

Bronnie wrote: »

If he's got pocket money, he's probably going to get chips, maybe bum meals at friends houses if he's smart!

Personally, I wouldn't go away and leave him without an emergency amount of money stashed somewhere , unless he had other adults close by to call on in an emergency.

Have a lovely holiday and come back nice and relaxed.......and on the journey home, promise yourself that NOTHING will spoil that feeling....not even the state of the house and garden!:D

Thank you

As for pocket money, I don't give him any :cool: If he isn't bothered enough about money to work part time then why should we give him OUR hard earned money? Is that mean?

Incidentally he always had a part time job for the last 3 years because we always encouraged it but now he wants to just be with his girlfriend and mates so his choice.

Money_maker

No thats not! You are doing everything you can to encourage him to earn for himself. The rest is up to him.

mae

JoolzS wrote: »

I find this type of post incredibly amusing. This eighteen year old living in your house didn't suddenly hatch out of an egg.

I suggest you leave him enough money to indulge in pizzas, chinese and indian take-aways and as many kebabs as he wants.

You created the monster - now you have to feed it when you go away; and probably for another ten years or so. Don't feel shocked that he can't cook - you failed to teach him!

Julie

And I find it incredibly amusing when people comment on posts when they obviously haven't read mine properly. He CAN cook I have always encouraged him, he is just lazy, hence my post on not wanting to spend a fortune on convenience foods for him but was trying to be fair too.

Thanks for your post though

mae

robpw2 wrote: »

does he not claim jsa? i would suggest that you give him just £47.00 a week for two weeks (thats about equivalent to jsa)
and make him buy his own food etc ..

get him to do some chores around the house to exchange for luxries such as a crate of beer .. a pizza ,etc before you go
if he wants to behave like a child you have to treat him like one ..

No he can't get JSA because he is going to Uni. I have thought about giving him a small amount of money and let him budget and shop for himself, can't decide which is best to do.

mummysaver

I'd suggest putting bread, chips, value pizza in the freezer, cheese and eggs in the fridge, uht milk and beans, pasta, sauces, noodles and cereal in the cupboard, and leaving a pot of vitamin tablets!

You could then put basic ingredients such as mince and frozen veg etc in the freezer for if he did get overcome with the urge to eat real food!

If he isn't working then he has plenty of time to cook for himself, and also to help with mowing the lawn, cleaning the house and watering the plants! Perhaps you could leave him some money - the amount that others have suggested as equivalent to JSA, as payment for doing these things and to ease your own mind that he has some emergency money?

Then when you return it is time for him to learn how to look after himself and find a way of either paying you for his keep or doing jobs for you in return for living in your house!

My ds and dd2 and dd3 are all really good at helping and cooking, though often with a few moans, but my dd1 hates, and I mean really hates, doing much at all! She does have her helpful moments, but they aren't that frequent, but she can cook and mow the lawn etc, and she does have to do it as well!

Good luck and have a great holiday!

robpw2

im sure hel cope he may suprise you it sounds like you have done a great job raising him but he is now distracted by gf and going out ( sounds like most 18 year old students) so i think hell manage realy well and you need to go away and relax