please help me im really scared

the_cat

jay_mi10 wrote: »

the_cat - i feel totally stupid now lol i seriously havent even considered that, she may be able to help yes , she does work but she might be able to sort something out for me, your so right that would save a hell of alot. I will speak to her as soon as she gets home.

Glad to hear it might help. That's the beauty of opening up to strangers! When you are detatched from the problem it's easier to come up with different angles as you don't get worn down by the day to day coping.

BT - you asked about reducing this. They have an automated system in which you can suggest a figure you are willing to pay monthly. If it's too low it will say so and you can also recall any credit balance. Cuts out the need to speak to someone and argue:D Phone number is available on their website or bottom of your last bill

Mobiles - all of these could potentially be reduced by phoning up and stating quite firmly that you cannot continue to afford them. This has been proved anyway by the fact you have missed payments. If you just stop paying the monthly amounts will still accrue a debt in your name so best not do this unless essential.

You have been amazingly good to your brother and sister with both the mobiles and the caring for them through a difficult time. Don't worry about losing touch, I'm sure a bond like that will mean you will remain close. Try to find other ways to keep in touch. PAYG would be cheaper, MSN is free (providing everyone has online connection)

mummyofboys

thanks i will look into that childcare voucher thread. About the new baby, it sounds daft that im even contiplating it i know, but the whole idea we had before debts ect was too have a small age gap my son would be around threeish if we started trying, and that way i was planning to start more of a career ect when they would be in school, as at the moment i am doing two jobs that have no prospects just to pay the bills. If i waited my son would then go to school, and then effectivly would have to start all over again. When i would like to go to college or retrain in something as i ever had the opportunity when i was young, It sounds horrid but i envy my sister a little bit...I brought her up and managed to give her the chance to go on and do her degree, to be a teacher which she loves. It feels like i never got the chance, even though i tried to do the right thing by them. Slight feelings of being left behind

Then on the other hand , if i waited had another baby after i get rid of or on top of debts, then retrained ect, it would be effectively 4-5 years that i start which leaves a big age gao which i didnt want.
Life and its decisions are so hard somtimes. . In my thinking I had hoped to get on top of it, start repaying ect, and then try in a couple of months, and have the 9 months before baby arrives to carry on making tracks on my debts.

Am i being completley stupid

lcazma70

Hi Jay, haven't time to give any thing more than my respect to you for your achievement s to date. You are clearly a very genuine caring person so dont be too hard on yourself for these financial probs given the same circumstances any one of us can be there and in many cases have . You should be proud for having coped with so much so young and i for one am still learning - so stand back and realise just what you will achieve using this time as a turning point. my very best wishes to you.:T

the_cat

I would personally put aside all ideas of another child for at least 12 months. In order to give your family the best chance of happiness you need to stabilize your finances first.
Use this time to get a plan in place for the debt and also maybe to plan what you would eventually want to do jobwise, what qualifications you would need, the help available etc etc. Having a longer term plan pencilled in would help you feel less like your dreams are passing you by.

An extra year between children will make little difference in the long term and you are still very young. Plenty of time to have another child and a satisfying career too. You need a firm and stable footing first though

mummyofboys

thank you, its very nice of you too say that.

I will leave the baby idea for a while.. I would love to be a nurse ideally, i know its long hours ect, but feel i could really help and would find it rewarding. the only qualifications i have up to now are gcses so would have to get out of debt and look into it. sometimes i just feel im in alot of debt at 22 , most of my friends jus have uni debts

RAS

jay_mi10 wrote: »

About cancelling the mobile contracts- dont they may you pay all the outstanding months? ie) the £35 per month for the remainding of the contract.If not i would do this in a second. The ten pound top up per month is a good idea, why oh why oh why did i not originally think of this.

Why not start by phoning them up and seeing if you can reduce the contract I would thinky uo can get much better deals now? Obviously speak to your bro and sis to make sure they know so they only use the right amount of minutes and texts?

rather than e-bay which takes time, are there any local car-boot sales which would get you cash in hand in a short time space?

RAS

jay_mi10 wrote: »

thank you, its very nice of you too say that.

I will leave the baby idea for a while.. I would love to be a nurse ideally, i know its long hours ect, but feel i could really help and would find it rewarding. the only qualifications i have up to now are gcses so would have to get out of debt and look into it. sometimes i just feel im in alot of debt at 22 , most of my friends jus have uni debts

Hi

Some universities will accept you onto the Dip HE Nursing courses with GCSEs only have a look at http://www.ucas.com/students/coursesearch/coursesearch2010/

You do get a bursary while you are studying and help with childcare.

sinderella_2

hi jay-mi10
Just wanted to say you've has some great advice here - especially about getting rid of the sky and reducing costs on phones and broadbands - I think these savings alone will help you to see light at the end of the proverbial -all the best of luck to you
Sinders

dancingfairy

Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 550
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 75
Electricity............................. 55 Now 45 ?
Gas..................................... 55 Now 50?
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 45
Telephone (land line)................... 40
Mobile phone............................ 148 Not sure what the situation is with these now? If you can negotiate them all down to 25 a month that would save another 48 a month?
TV Licence.............................. 11.95
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 46 to cancel? can you get tv/internet and home phone all in one as that should save you.
Internet Services....................... 17.5
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 0 need something here as you will eventually need to buy some stuff.
Petrol/diesel........................... 60
Road tax................................ 0 some figures here might help
Car Insurance........................... 0 and here?
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0 and here?
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 15
Childcare/nursery....................... 416 need to speak to mother in law AND check out the childcare vouchers others have mentioned.
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0 Think you probably should have this - shop around and maybe go through Quidco or somewhere to get cashback as well - maybe cost you 10-15 a month depending?
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 23.98 to cancel?
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 20
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1788.43

Well I reckon you've saved 80-90 a month already if you can cancelled sky and the laptop insurance etc. You could easily save another 50 a month on the mobiles but I would sort out the childcare first as you may still not be able to afford the mobiles - I am not sure. Childcare is the priority to sort out next I would say.
Good Luck
df

Ames

Just to say that 'just uni debts' are probably a lot higher than your debts are!