just had phonecall from social services

ladylumps45

hi all:o
jus had a phonecall from social services as i was told i was being referred to them from my intake team lady at a different apt which was a month ago.
she told me that she thought they could help me in many ways as to cut a long story short i have a bone marrow disease and also too much pressure/fluid in my brain.
i have a 13 month old baby and a 12 year old daughter and basically my husband does nearly everything for all of us as i cant manage it with my illnesses and my meds.
he also suffers from a bowel disorder and when hes poorly too its even harder.
my little one was a miracle really and im so grateful to have 2 healthy children whom i adore and live for.
the social services are coming to see me and i wondered if anyone can shed some light please on what they may be able to talk about and do in the way of help?
also does my appointment mean they will consider help for the whole family including my children?
im so glad they are coming as hopefully it will mean that we will get some help,although i know many people dont think too highly of them for their own reasons.
my children come first in my life and i am grateful for any help they can give me .
thanks for reading and i appreciate in advance any advice.

sharon59

no real idea of what you can expect but thought l would suggest you write down a few things before they come.
things like everything you need done for you and why
how this impacts on the whole family
I think they will be looking at the whole family.
Dont hold back or feel ashamed or guilty about your needs.
Hope this helps a bit and good luck
sharon x;)

ladylumps45

thanks sharon.i will make sure i write things down.have to admit im a bit nervous about it as im only 35 and feel that im a burden most of the time when i would love to be doing everything myself and get back to work which is extremely unlikely.

McKneff

thats a good post from Sharon.
But dont be nervous, they really are trying to help and I'm sure no one
thinks your a burden. Sorry to hear you and your OH are poorly. Makes me wonder about the world. There are so many nasty old bluggers running round as fit as fiddles at 90

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

rogjen

Good luck with your appointment. I am sure they will look at your family as a whole be honest tell them, about your problems, be sure to write questions down that you would like to know.

ladylumps45

thanks Mcneff,your post made me chuckle.i will let you know how i get on with them.
rogjen,thanks for the reply.im going to start my questions this evening when its all quiet in the household!

[Deleted User]

Hi Ladylumps, I'm a social worker for my sins. Great advice from Sharon,
They wil have a standard assesment to carry out, they will be looking at where you live (location, bus routes, shops, flat or house, stairs, equipment in the home etc), how you live (single, kids, support in place, your employment or not etc), and how you cope or not and if you need anything, more specifically anything from them, to improve your standard of living.
Although they will know some things you may need that you hadnt thought of most of the information they need will come from you, you know your own needs better than anyone.

Your list should include things in your home or life you want to do but can not or that you struggle with. Do you need adaptions like a stair rail, fire guards for the kids, new beds anything. Do you need childcare or after school care to allow you to go to medical appointments or to get some rest.
They can also put in referrals for other services which you couldnt access alone, direct payments, counselling, home care, dail a ride, to the disabled living center if you have one near you.

Ask others to help you with it if you want because they may have ideas you hadnt thought of. They will help the whole family because in helping them they help you.

Make sure you also tell them about the stuff you do not need help with or if you only need help some of the time.

Please dont stress over this, they are actually there to help you. Social workers have a bad rep but the person who comes will only want to help.

ladylumps45

hi shel, thankyou for that really useful reply.it certainly makes me understand more when hearing from others.
can they do anything regarding housing as i struggle so much with our stairs and theres 2 big flights here? i wondered whether they could help us move in some way ?
do you mean things like struggling to wash my hair because of bending my head forward causing more pain? and struggling with housework etc?

McKneff

It might be worth you claiming DLA if youre not already doing so.
Put that on your list to ask

[Deleted User]

ladylumps45 wrote: »

hi shel, thankyou for that really useful reply.it certainly makes me understand more when hearing from others.
can they do anything regarding housing as i struggle so much with our stairs and theres 2 big flights here? i wondered whether they could help us move in some way ?
do you mean things like struggling to wash my hair because of bending my head forward causing more pain? and struggling with housework etc?

Tried to post this last night but the servers were down! hope you can read the cut & paste.

Yes I mean stuff like that, they or the nearest disabled living centre may have equipment that will help you wash your hair easier, they also have equipment to help you around the house with picking things up, opening jars etc but they can also put home care in place to help with cleaning the house. It could be you can do the cleaning, shopping etc but because you are suffering and trying to watch the kids at the same time it is difficult and takes much longer and you end up in more pain. So if the kids where in a nursery or after school club you could do these things at a much slower pace so you do not end up suffering.

Another thing to think about is how much does your daughter help you?
There are groups for young carers so they get a break and spend time with kids in the same situation as them, at the same time you get a break. My nephew went to one when he was younger because he looked after me when I had seizures, I’m always amazed at how much he knew and how grown up he was about it. Kids friends who’s never experience disability don’t quite ‘get it’ so spending time with other kids who do can be good for them.

Think about things you do, for both yourself and your family, but not as much as you would like because of constraints of caring and disability, because if you have children and a husband with illness you are a carer as well as having a disability as is he with you. Maybe your area has a carers support service, we have one local here and they offer lots of services. Look at the stuff they provide and see if any of would help, you could then ask the social worker if things like that are provided near you http://www.localsolutions.org.uk/projects/

http://www.disabledliving.co.uk/disabledliving.shtml

http://www.barnardos.org.uk/youngcarersnorthwest

Unless you were moving into accommodation provided by them they couldn’t do much fast, but they could write a letter of support to your housing association or council. This would help bump you up the list some and if needed get you on to the list for an adapted property. Though you might still wait a while depending on where you live, how big a place you need etc.

Totally agree with McKneff re claiming DLA, they can help you with a forms and would be a useful reference to put down on the forms as people providing support and back your application, they can also write a letter for you to include with the application so the Disability & Carers Service have the information from the start rather than asking for it (or not as they sometimes do).

ladylumps45

thankyou for the great reply.we are currently on the waiting list at our local council for housing but have been placed in the bottom band D even though my gp wrote a letter to them.
we are in rented accomodation at the mo but cannot afford to move so would the social services be able to house us at all or will they just write to the council with a supporting letter as having to use a wheelchair alot of the time is very hard going with 2 flights of stairs?i usually bum shuffle along the floor.?
thankyou Mcneff for suggesting dla.i do claim HRM dla and middle rate care and we have a motability car which my husband drives and is great for getting to my london hospital apts.
i have looked a the links you gave _shel and they are good sites.thankyou.