what lengths would you go to to give your child a SAHM/D?

searching_me

Downshifting groceries

id do most things to make sure my kids are happy but like emlou i like working i also like staying at home currently i need to have my job as OH is finding it hard to find a job i only work part time as i tried full time but missed my kids too much x

flea72

i would say, for some people just being able to give up work once children arrive is not an option

we already do all the 'cut back' suggestions given (expect lodger, due to no room), and i still cant afford to give up work

Being a sahm, all depends on what you OH earns - they either have to have an above average income, or have to be unemployed, so the benefit system kicks in - any family with a mid-ground income cannot afford to have a parent who stays at home

My Oh earns enough to pay our mortgage and utility bills, i have to work, so we can have food on the table

Whereas being a sahm used to be a lifestyle choice, nowadays its more a luxury, few families can afford

Flea

weezl74

Having a lodger

Hi flea,

I agree with you apart from the bit where (I hope!) there are 2 children pre-school, as my salary won't cover 2 nursery placements. This for me would mean that working would be the luxury we couldn't afford!

Lu_T

Downshifting groceries

I don't want to be a SAHM either. I value the time I spend at work being me, not Imogen's mum. Both DH and I love our jobs.

However, I do want to have the maximum time off with the impending new arrival, so I've answered the questions based on that.

Sounds like our situation is similar to Flea's with DH's salary covering the bills, but mine needed for food and other things.

Childcare will be our biggest financial issue when I go back to work next year (currently on mat leave waiting for baby #2), so we've come to an arrangement where DH has reduced his hours by 3 and will work the other 34 over 4 days (which he pretty much does anyway). He will have Monday's off and have both kids from March when they will be 3 and 9 months.

I will work Mon-Weds, so both kids will be at nursery all day Tues & Weds. Eldest will also go Thursday morning as she gets the nursery funding from Jan (although it won't cover all of the cost, it means that it's unlikely to increase hugely from the amount we pay now for one full day a week). I will have baby on Thursday morning and both of them Thursday afternoon and Friday.

This is the biggest compromise for DH who really didn't want to work any less cos he loves his job so much (yes, really!). But he realises that he'll also love spending the time with the children and that it's the right thing to do for our family. The arrangement will only be needed for 18 months when eldest will go to school anyway.

Phew! Sorry for the long post.

Sami_Bee

Downshifting groceries

feel free to hate me but I haven't cut back on any thing everyday (I'm one of those lucky one's who gets CTCs about the same as what I would earn working)

Although one option not on the list that we would do if Hubby lost his job would be move in with our parents (although I'm not sure how long I'd last before needing to be sectioned!:p) - After we'd cut back on everything listed first tho!!

feelinggood_2

Downshifting groceries

Sami_Bee wrote: »

feel free to hate me but I haven't cut back on any thing everyday (I'm one of those lucky one's who gets CTCs about the same as what I would earn working)

Although one option not on the list that we would do if Hubby lost his job would be move in with our parents (although I'm not sure how long I'd last before needing to be sectioned!:p) - After we'd cut back on everything listed first tho!!

My Parents weren't that happy with me staying more than two nights before I had the baby, but were more than happy for me and the newborn to stay for four weeks! Mum even got up to help with night feeds. Amazing what these babies can do to Grandparents.

We'd probably consider downsizing before moving in with parents, I'd rather be in a one bed flat and stay at home than be in a three bed house and work.

pollyanna24

Again, we seem to one of the lucky ones who get quite a few CTC (for this year anyways), not when my wage is back up to its fullest next year (all depends on the time of year mat leave runs out I guess).

My wage just about covers all we need. We had lodgers and saved before the baby came along.

I wouldn't say I'm a high earner (£31,000), I know it's quite good, but not in the high leagues!! Plus our mortgage is £1,000, so that's half my wages gone already. We just don't have a lot of other things to pay for as we have cut right back and are happy with little things. Holidays were never extravagant, but we have family in Europe, so have always only had to pay for flights.

So bubba is 8 months, I've just gone back to work and daddy is loving his new role!

weezl74

Having a lodger

thanks all very much for joining in, I'm really appreciating the responses.

looks like extending debt and having lodgers are very low on people's lists!

Krystaltips

Downshifting groceries

We get enough tax credits for me not to work too... We also have a cheap (by most standards) mortgage of £232 pm... It would be nice to move to a bigger house in a nicer area, but at the moment looking after the children means more to me than an extra bedroom... Luxury wise, we're very low key people. We don't go out a lot (even before the baby came and the biggest pixie spent the night with grandparents we were more likely to stop in than go out...) and a foreign holiday would be nice but we don't yearn for one... I suppose if we felt differently then 2 wages would be more important to us...

skintchick

Downshifting groceries

I would do everything except: get a lodger, take on more debt, get OH to extend his hours.

Those are things that I think would be negatives for us - our house is small so a lodger would be under our feet, more debt seems daft, and longer hours means OH wouldn;t see the baby much.

But i'd do anything else as I am determined to stay at home until and probably beyond the point when the baby goes to school. This is partly because I want three children with about 18 months between them, and partly because I feel that the best person to look after my children is me.

Oh yeah, and I hate working! :rotfl: