what lengths would you go to to give your child a SAHM/D?

galvanizersbaby

Downshifting groceries

barnaby-bear wrote: »

Past that stage? Ask any A&E worker about the variety of places middle-aged men have got things stuck or places things have been stuck......:rotfl:

:eek::eek::eek::D

feelinggood_2

Downshifting groceries

ForeverHopeful wrote: »

It's a personal thing and everyone is different. Perhaps it depends on how you were brought up

Probably. Both OH & I were raised with a Mum at home, and both really wanted me to be a SAHM. DH also had a Dad at home for quite a while, and is planning on working from home for a while while DS is little.

I can't think of a single woman in our family who worked outside of the home before the youngest was 11.

I'm so glad I live in a time where I can make that choice though. My Nan (92) is so incredibly bright and motivated, and would have achieved fantastic things had it been socially acceptable for her to go to work.

barnaby-bear

SusanC wrote: »

:rotfl: I hope anyone who hasn't used them before is intelligent enough to read the packet.

Really - you assume 100% of people think beyond - it's food right - just bung it in..... and for those that do read the packet there's the subset who need the "contains egg" on a box of eggs or "contains nut traces" on a bag of nuts..... work in an environment with risk assessments and H&S and you abandon such hopes.... fast.... nothing is idiot proof you try to make it so but somebody seems able to make a better idiot instantaneously

SusanC_2

barnaby-bear wrote: »

Really - you assume 100% of people think beyond - it's food right - just bung it in..... and for those that do read the packet there's the subset who need the "contains egg" on a box of eggs or "contains nut traces" on a bag of nuts..... work in an environment with risk assessments and H&S and you abandon such hopes.... fast.... nothing is idiot proof you try to make it so but somebody seems able to make a better idiot instantaneously

I have a theory - the larger the number of people you are dealing with the lower the collective intelligence/memory becomes. If you tell something to one or two peole they'll remember it. If you tell to group of 10, half will forget it. If you tell 100 most of them will forget.

Sometimes you have to leave people to be idiots.

flea72

barnaby-bear wrote: »

Really - you assume 100% of people think beyond - it's food right - just bung it in..... and for those that do read the packet there's the subset who need the "contains egg" on a box of eggs or "contains nut traces" on a bag of nuts..... work in an environment with risk assessments and H&S and you abandon such hopes.... fast.... nothing is idiot proof you try to make it so but somebody seems able to make a better idiot instantaneously

i think the best information ive ever read, was on a packet of nuts - it said 'serving suggestion' next to a picture of some peanuts in a bowl

now there was me thinking i could wander around my party, with some nuts in my hand (oo err) offering to the guests. id never have thought to put them in a bowl :rotfl:

Flea

Lunar_Eclipse

Having a lodger

ForeverHopeful wrote: »

It's a personal thing and everyone is different. Perhaps it depends on how you were brought up

Agree and probably. However in my case, my Mum always worked since they couldn't afford otherwise and I am a SAHM. Interestingly all my friends' Mums worked too, no doubt to help pay school fees (huge financial commitment!)

seven-day-weekend

Having a lodger

We made this decision nearly 30 years ago now, but we got rid of the car, changed gas/electricity to prepayment so there would be no bills, bought clothes from jumble sales/had freebies and got a lodger. When our son was at school I first of all went to Uni part-time and then got a job as a lollipop lady (both of these fitted in with his school hours). I didn't go back to work full-time until he was nearly fifteen.

Yes, we did have a mortgage to pay, but always made sure we could afford to live on just one salary. Therefore I suppose another 'compromise' we made was by having a mid-terrace house on the outskirts of the city instead of a semi in the suburbs (still have this house!).

joshieg3011

ForeverHopeful wrote: »

Realistic cut backs are food bills and luxuries. Not a chance to a lodger or extending debts. I thought we were all here to cut our debts

I have two children (4 & 2) and work part-time (21 hours per week) Even if I could afford to stop working, I wouldn't. I would most probably go insane. I honestly think my kids benefit from their activities away from me and we appreciate each other more when we are together.

Our sacrifice for me to work part-time was for my husband to work away one month at a time. But when he is home, he spends all his time with the boys. In his normal 9 to 5, also working half the weekend, we only had one family day per week. Weighing up all the pros and cons, we figured this was the best way.

We could have sold the house that we worked so hard to achieve. Could have sold a car. But, call me a snob or whatever, but I wanted my kids to be brought up with nice things and to realise we've had to work hard for them.

There's nothing wrong with some old style money saving, I do the slow cooking and growing veg etc, but we need to be comfortable and able to see that we are working towards making our lives better. Cutting back to become a SAHM is unrealistic for many and unwanted for others.

It's a personal thing and everyone is different. Perhaps it depends on how you were brought up

I agree with Forever Hopeful - I think it is important to teach children that you have to work to be able to have things. I have just cut my hours back at work - am embarassed to say I now only work an average of 10 hours per week! I have two children (ages 7 and 3) and love my job but it was getting difficult re childcare as my husband is self-employed and works nightshift (I say nightshift, he usually starts around 4pm and works until around 4am). He was having to get up the children in the morning while I went to work (in the school holidays this is a nightmare and resulted in him having very little sleep (and being extremely grumpy). We sat down and worked out if we could afford me to take a pay cut (my salary has been almost halfed). We discuss most things with the children and asked them what they thought of Mummy not working as much. They cheered! I explained that they wouldn't be getting as many treats and we wouldn't be going out for dinner as much (we go out once a week for dinner). My son said he would rather I was here than have special treats. They understand that you can't have everything - something has to give. My parents both worked full-time when I was growing up and my granddad lived with us. He retired to look after me so from as far back as I can remember, he did everything for me - my parents were too busy working and he took on the role as mother and father. This resulted in me being very close to him and I was devastated when he did two years ago at the grand old age of 94. I have more memories of him that I will ever have with my parents and even now I don't get on with them very well - I am sure this is to do with the fact that I resent them for not being there (although I wanted for nothing and was spoilt financially as a child). Sometimes money can't buy memories...

morag1202

Downshifting groceries

weezl74 wrote: »

Ideally I wanted to split 'add to/extend term of debt' from 'add to/extend term of mortgage', as I think this is different in lots of people's minds.

I also wanted to split the use 'second hand things' option down into things for baby and things for all the family

I had a 'up your income using mystery shopper/surveys etc' option

I did have 'downsize house' but that's been thrashed out already here!

I had a 'save prior to having the baby' option, also discussed already

I had a 'cease life assurance/mortgage protection/income protection policies' option

and a 'suspend/reduce pension contributions' option, that took it up to 17 so I removed some and merged others to get down to 10

no matter, people have said (kinda) what I wanted to know

Please please please think very hard about this one and be aware that "it can happen to me" My DH died as the result of a freak accident when our 2 kids were still dependent. Money worries on top of sudden and traumatic bereavement just does not bear thinking about (in my experience) :eek:

I was a very happy SAHM until youngest was 13 because DH and I both wanted it that way. We were not particularly well off (around £15k to £25K by todays rates) but managed by limiting the wants and making the most of what we had. I've answered your poll on the basis of what we did or were prepared to do. However, no way made would I have hand washed nappies

Thanks for this very thought prevoking and interesting thread and the best of luck.

Pee

I agree that a language school could provide a great lodger, and maybe not all year round.

Otherwise my concern is who would want to live in a family home and if they did, are they the sort of person I would want living in a family home?