what lengths would you go to to give your child a SAHM/D?

Lunar_Eclipse

Having a lodger

I ticked all of the above.

It is extremely important to me to raise my children myself, despite having a great education and then highly paid professional job (career) before having them. That is not to say that I think I am doing it better than anyone else could (far from it at times!) just simply that we would not have considered doing it any other way. We have friends who do it in all sorts of variations.

I did very reluctantly return to work 3 days a week when my eldest was 7 months old, before leaving again on maternity leave 9 months later. It nearly killed me (emotionally.)

We gave up a lot financially (we're now 10 yeas on when you start to see what working parents can afford - house/private school/cars etc) and whilst I wouldn't say that raising children is particularly rewarding, I would say that it is real and purposeful. I can't say the same for my old job, nor most jobs tbh.

weezl74

Having a lodger

ella_ella_ella wrote: »

Lol, I was just being nosy and wondering what your situation was as you have been rather quiet since starting this!! :D

well....since you asked!;)

I think we're in our forever home, it's definately big enough for the family size we want if we're lucky enough, there's even a convertable attic space if we want even more

OH earns a very respectable 37k and although I also have a salary (on SMP at the mo though) we lived on just his (not too tricky!) for a year before having fergus to be sure it was do-able because we didn't know how I'd feel about going back and DH would like to reduce his hours to have more family time when he finishes an important project in 2012.

I hope that posting these details doesn't alienate anyone, and I am aware we are in a very fortunate, comfortable position.

I would like to pay off our mortgage sooner, as I think that will give us more freedom as a family (it's such a massive part of our monthly outgoings atm). My preferred methods of money saving are about me doing more things, but DH doesn't mind the idea of a mortgage as much as I do... I am a bit too driven about it really. ;)

Lunar_Eclipse

Having a lodger

flea72 wrote: »

The UK average is £27k, now i would assume any family would be able to have a sahp based on that income. tbh anyone with an income over £20k should be able to have one parent stay at home by making 'cutbacks'

Depends where you live! When I had eldest 9 1/2 years ago, a full time nursery place was £1000/month PER CHILD. I know there are probably cheaper options, particularly once you have a second child, but it is often that second child that makes working "pointless" from a financial perspective. And then there's the price I put on working/staying at home depending on which way one looks at it, plus tangible costs associated with working (clothes, transport etc) and intangible ones such as being really tired at the weekend etc.

It's a tough one Weezl!

flea72

weezl74 wrote: »

erm.... it probably is a bit obvious:o;), but I think it's just how extreme I should be with my cuts and money saving in order to be at home for longer.... something a bit like that!

It came up when DH and I were discussing whether handwashing nappies is worth it!

yes, handwashing nappies is worth it, if anything like me you have an efficient hot water source, which costs less to create hot water, than the cold-fill washing machine, then it does work out cheaper in fuel usage (factoring in time lost, dont know) - however, it did mean investing in a stand-alone spinner, but most cloth nappy users have one of those anyway, as it removes more water than a washing machine, so therefore cuts down on drying time

Flea

OrkneyStar

Downshifting groceries

flea72 wrote: »

yes, handwashing nappies is worth it, if anything like me you have an efficient hot water source, which costs less to create hot water, than the cold-fill washing machine, then it does work out cheaper in fuel usage (factoring in time lost, dont know) - however, it did mean investing in a stand-alone spinner, but most cloth nappy users have one of those anyway, as it removes more water than a washing machine, so therefore cuts down on drying time

Flea

Speaking from experience, the time I had to handwash, spin and dry DS's real nappies was the worst of my life! Never again! Real nappies-yes (well up to 23 months anyway!), line drying- yes, hand washing- no!
But if you don't mind then fine. TBH if I did not have a bad lower back then maybe it would have been less torture!

flea72

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Speaking from experience, the time I had to handwash, spin and dry DS's real nappies was the worst of my life! Never again! Real nappies-yes (well up to 23 months anyway!), line drying- yes, hand washing- no!
But if you don't mind then fine. TBH if I did not have a bad lower back then maybe it would have been less torture!

perhaps using terries/fuzzis meant it wasnt too much of a chore, i could see that fitted ones would be an a pita, as they dont open out enough to get in all the folds (ewww), and also hold alot more fluid, but rinsing and spinning before washing, really cut down on the amount of elbow grease needed

Flea

OrkneyStar

Downshifting groceries

flea72 wrote: »

perhaps using terries/fuzzis meant it wasnt too much of a chore, i could see that fitted ones would be an a pita, as they dont open out enough to get in all the folds (ewww), and also hold alot more fluid, but rinsing and spinning before washing, really cut down on the amount of elbow grease needed

Flea

Perhaps, I used tots bots (and other nappies that shape) and also some pocket nappies which could be separated into several bits!
As I said, should I have a better back then it may not have seemed such a chore.
Using real nappies still saves money over disposables no matter how you wash (although not sure it does if you also tumble dry!)- we are now using sposies on DS as he is 2 and hopefully at potty training stage soon. Still over the 2 years we saved money even if you count the initial reusable cost, washing stuff etc.

Pee

My intention is for me and my Bf to both work part-time meaning that one or other of us will be at home, but not always the same person. This seems the best way for us to spend plenty of time with the child as well as still have our own careers. Realistically giving up work for me would mean a lot of retraining in the future and with him it would be a loss of contacts and rebuilding a business. I appreciate that I might feel very differently once we actually have a baby, but my feeling is that it should be a partnership.

Whilst I can see that making savings by lifestyle changes would be worthwhile to keep a parent at home for the first five years, the idea of feeding children the cheapest food possible to have a SAHM concerns me. It is a fine line, but I would rather work slightly longer hours to ensure my child had the best food that I could provide.

My mum was a SAHM until i was 18 - well, she still is to my sister who is over 30, TBH. It made it very hard for me to leave home, something my sister hasn't managed to acheive, and meant that my mum has very little in her life now that we have grown up. I feel sorry for her and I feel guilty. It would have been a lot easier had she had other interests, work might have been one of them.

feelinggood_2

Downshifting groceries

Pee wrote: »

Whilst I can see that making savings by lifestyle changes would be worthwhile to keep a parent at home for the first five years, the idea of feeding children the cheapest food possible to have a SAHM concerns me. It is a fine line, but I would rather work slightly longer hours to ensure my child had the best food that I could provide.

I agree, I wouldn't feed value chips and beans, but I think great savings on food can be made. Things like using the slow cooker, batch cooking, buying reduced foods, being inventive. It does take a bit more planning and can take a lot of time.

Baileys_Babe

Having a lodger

We have always used reusable nappies, which we machine wash (A rated machine), no efficient hot water source but even if we did I would prefer not to hand wash them, partly time and partly as I'm useless at hand washing.

We have always used flat nappies which we fold, but some friends very kindly gave us their used Tots bots, lovely to use take forever to dry and they look like the would be more awkward to hand wash.

One obvious advantage of hand washing nappies that I can see is you don't need to wait for a full load, so less nappies are needed. We were luckly the vast majority of our nappies are 2nd hand so we have not had to factor in the cost of a weeks worth of reuseables.