Partners child now 16

Blonde_Bint

Keep your chins up you two, the way I get through it sometimes is to think that the child gets older every day and the day is fast approaching when the child will no longer be under her roof, at this stage our life will be our own to do with as we please and we'll be able to do and arrange anything we want to with the child with ease and without back lash:D

My particular dream is I want to go on a great holiday somewhere nice, we cant arrange anything because everytime we arrange ANYTHING and I mean any little thing she always manages to un arranges it at the last minute, so I dont bother now i'd rather not waste my time.

lifes going to be great in a couple of years and i'm having fun in the meantime planning it:j you know what us birds are like, I change my mind like a, well (sorry ladies) I change my mind like a right bird so itll be a few years before i've decided where I want to go and what I want to do :j i cant wait :j:j


lol. this might make you laugh. years ago we borrowed my fathers car, he was doing some work on ours for us, so we go to pick up our child from PWC in it, and she passes comment on it, it was nice and expensive, yawn monday morning bright and early we've got a CSA letter on the door mat, lol. For driving someone elses car for the day. If I hadnt lived it, I wouldnt believe it. most of it was worthy of an Eastenders episode. lol.

pinkpig08

I don't think you have to be re-assessed when you have a baby. I'm due to have mine any day now and wil simply be sending CSA a letter informing them, and to ask them to recalculate the payments. They only re-assess if you request it. If nothing else has changed then there's no reason to re-assess.

FairyElephant_2

watsonnicole1 wrote: »

CSA should be called "COUNT on STRESS ASSOCIATION"

LOL Nicole!

We call them Cause of Stress Always (or DH often changes the Always to A-Holes!!!!!).

They are complete law unto themselves (especially if you are on CSA1 it appears) and neither arguing with them or calmly jumping through their hoops and supplying them everything they ask for seems to work in our experience. I just can'r wait until DH's leave school and we can stop paying their mother and start helping them out directly when they need it instead!

FairyElephant_2

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

lol. this might make you laugh. years ago we borrowed my fathers car, he was doing some work on ours for us, so we go to pick up our child from PWC in it, and she passes comment on it, it was nice and expensive, yawn monday morning bright and early we've got a CSA letter on the door mat, lol. For driving someone elses car for the day. If I hadnt lived it, I wouldnt believe it. most of it was worthy of an Eastenders episode. lol.

LOl - know what you mean!

Get this one then.....

DH's Ex kicked him out of their marital home (a "trial separation" for both of our good so she said) after SHE had an affair and 'didn't know who she wanted to be with' FGS! 2 weeks later she is 'suddenly' pregnant with the other guy's child and he has all-but moved in!

Then, amost 3 years on (during which my now DH didn't have a real relationship) we get together and go off on a week's holiday together (his first since the split)...and he arrives home to a solicitors letter on the doormat saying she is divorcing HIM for ADULTERY with ME! When she has a 2 year-old-child with someone else!!!!!!! (and she was trying to claim the legal costs of the divorce from him - needless to say this did not work!).

FairyElephant_2

pinkpig08 wrote: »

I don't think you have to be re-assessed when you have a baby. I'm due to have mine any day now and wil simply be sending CSA a letter informing them, and to ask them to recalculate the payments. They only re-assess if you request it. If nothing else has changed then there's no reason to re-assess.

Thanks PinkPig - that is info I was looking for when I logged on!

At the mo they take into account my income, but I will be taking a year out with bubs (fingers crossed - all being well this time...) and was hoping we wouldn't have to do a full re-assesssment!

cozzie

Feel so much better that we aren't the only people suffering this and it's actually (albeit very sadly) oh so common. It really is unreal that the kind of behaviour some people portray is just expected to be accepted as 'normal' when in all honesty it is anything but.

Whilst I'm thinking out loud, (wrong board entirely, but, was tippytapping and have to get DS from school). Would anybody know if we are allowed to record this kind of behaviour? My OH wants to take his daughter her cards and pressie's on her birthday, but, neither of us want him to put himself in the same vunerable situation. If we were to text first stating our intentions would that be considered informed consent, (at the very least it might make her behave if she were to think we could)?

Blonde_Bint

cozzie wrote: »

Feel so much better that we aren't the only people suffering this and it's actually (albeit very sadly) oh so common. It really is unreal that the kind of behaviour some people portray is just expected to be accepted as 'normal' when in all honesty it is anything but.

Whilst I'm thinking out loud, (wrong board entirely, but, was tippytapping and have to get DS from school). Would anybody know if we are allowed to record this kind of behaviour? My OH wants to take his daughter her cards and pressie's on her birthday, but, neither of us want him to put himself in the same vunerable situation. If we were to text first stating our intentions would that be considered informed consent, (at the very least it might make her behave if she were to think we could)?

What about sending the presents through the post. If they wont go through the letter box then surely postie knocks doesnt he. Or they leave them with a neighbour if they have too.

If you hadnt been on the receiving end of these situations you could be forgiven for laughing. but I know exactly where your coming from re the presents business. You have no idea what kind of a reception your going to get. an action as simple as knocking on the door and leaving presents must be given the same consideration as a military commando operation:rotfl: all possible outcomes need to be considered, escape route is an essential.

then you get the PWC on here that just want no frills bog standard contact just be at x place at x time please and just pay x amount on x day and they are happy, great pleased as punch no problems, thank you very much. go about your business see you next week, why couldnt I have one of you :mad:.

cozzie

Been there done that, got the T-shirt (XL) saying what a sh!te Dad he is for not even seeing them on their birthday etc etc. Doesn't matter what you try to do for the best the MPWC (malicious PWC) has some retort which paints the ever-trying NRP blacker than black.

watsonnicole1

Oh Ladies... You've got to laugh hey, Else we'd all go mad. :rotfl:

pinkpig08 - We were told that when the baby arrives we 1st need to submit a claim to for Child Benefit & call them with the reference number, We then need to send them a copy of the babies birth cert & DH's wage slips again, No doubt if we called them back we'd get another version.

Fairy - That is EXACTLY what the witch did, DH found out she was having an affair for 3 years, Then when he found out & moved out she moved him straight in, He (her partner) never paid a penny towards the mortgage DH paid it all for about 6 months even eventually she paid her half too! Anywho, Then we met about 8 months later and she went total nuts.. All of a sudden wanted him back etc I have been the olgar throughout it all and his children were brain washed with the fact I split them up as she say's she tried to get their family back together and he didn't want to know! I mean !!!!!!! :mad: She totally hates me and belittles me at every given opportunit, I've had all the lies etc saying he was going back there etc but she's that much of a loon thankfully i've never bitten back. She then did the exact same in Divorcing DP for Adultery (with myself) There was nothing really he could do as by law that is technically true.. She didn't et away with naming me on the papers though which cost us £££'s in letters etc & family councilling to get her to see sense!

Blond Bint.. I know hun, I feel the same, Only a couple of more years Tops and they will have their own lives and eldest will of gone onto uni or something, His eldest wants to go to uni, But his youngest (14) was crying to DH not that long back that he didn't want to stay on school but his mum said he has to as she won't get any money.. he's never been into school and I will be suprised if he walk's away with 1 GCSE.

We still have not got anywhere with the CSA.. 3 calls again today and no joy so we're just gonna have to leave it and see what happens in 2 weeks, If they still don't take enough we'll have to take it further, Maybe she's told them the eldest has moved out, I highly doubt it though :rolleyes:

pinkpig08

watsonnicole - sorry yes we were told to put the claim in for child benefit first then send a letter with the child benefit number on. But we didn't need to send wageslips. If his income hasn't changed then he doesn't need a re-assessment surely? Just a recalculation based on the change in circumstances? Like you say they change their mind every time you speak to them! Which actually is why we are sending a letter about the new baby and not phoning them!