In debt and dying inside

catkitkat

Two days ago i told my husband that i had £50,000 of debt. Creditcards, loans you name it. I kept this debt secret for 2 years. I suffered with post natal depression and spent spent spent as a way of coping and feeling good and that i was worthy. Before i knew it the lie was too big and so was the debt. I couldn't make repayments so i didn't. My head has been firmly in the sand. I will not go on about my reasons for this spending although i feel i had no way of controlling it.

There is a lot more detail but all i can say is that it made me ill. I have lied to friends, family and given the finger to my husband and all the hard work and support he has given me. I am not proud whatso ever this is not a good way to feel.

I am dealing with the company Debt Free Direct with a view to an IVA but having read some of the IVA related posts i am concerned that i should not be dealing with a commercial company. I am desperate to sort thing out.

If any one can offer further advice i'd be truly grateful.

bc3000

Stay positive! You'll come through this.

happychappy74

I ended up with huge debts over the years and it all came to a head, much like yourself. I had few options available at the time, and owing to my job Bankruptcy was certainly not an option.

I was given contact details for Payplan and we went though my circumstances and commitments before it was agreed that in my case an IVA would be the best, and only, way forward in my circumstances.

When the IVA was agreed I felt alot easier, although I knew I had to strictly budget everything for years to come.

They were helpful all the way including, believe it or not, reclaiming credit cards and bank charges and the yearly re-assessments etc.

My IVA has just finished and so I can start to plan better for the future with my family so I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Have a chat to your other half and a professional about
the best way forward.
It does get easier and there is always an option for any circumstance.

All the best.

dog_food

You are not alone...there are many people in the same position as you for many different reasons, you pass them every day in the street, they serve you in the shops and they live in your street.

Having debt is a horrible burden to carry...but you are over the worst part which is owning up to what you have done to the people you love...now all you have to do is get the best advice you can and move forward.

There was a time when I buried my head in the sand (and often my hands) frightened of the bags of unopened letters and afraid to answer the phone...now all that has changed.

I contacted Pay Plan who appeared to always get praise on forums like this and they worked with me in a unjudgemental and proffesional way. An IVA was eventually agreed, and although it isn't easy budgeting every month you learn to do it. The most liberating thing is knowing you have dealt with and that if you continue successfully you will see the end of it in 5 years....no more letters...no more phone calls...no more lies...

I don't have any experience with Debt Free Direct, but I would highly recommend Pay Plan...I have been in my IVA for over 2 years and it isn't an easy get out but at least you can sleep at night and you know there is an end in sight.

Good luck with everything and don't punish yourself over this...feel good about yourself, you are dealing with it and recognising the mistakes you made...you will get through this and most importantly you'll never do it again!

Take care...

Kavanne

Do Debt Free Direct take a fee each month when you pay them? if so, don't use them! You can get services for free from Payplan or the Consumer Credit Counselling Service.

You've taken a big step in admitting this and I wish you the best of luck for the future.

Nargleblast

The Consumer Credit Counselling Service are a free debt counselling charity like Payplan. They will advise you as to the best course of action. If an IVA is advised, then, like Payplan, they have a sister company, CCCSVA, who deal with this. There are charges associated with IVAs but these come out of the first few months' payments so you don't have to pay anything extra. An IVA does not suit everyone, but whichever company you go to should give it to you straight as to what is best for you.

catkitkat

Thank you for your advice everyone i appreciate it. Knowing i'm not the only one is a relief.

I have all the contact details for cccs etc so will call round today. To be fair Debt Free Direct have been very attentive and supportive - but they are a business and will make some sort of commission so they are going to be arn't they! I will be checking if they are the best option.
Thank you all for taking the time to respond xx

a2062cad

Catkitkat, your story sounds very similar to mine (not the post natal though) I am a male ! Anyhow, for what its worth I think you have started the journey GOOD and PROPER as you've come onto the board and started to talk about the debt. Thats a big step just in its self.

Its not nice the feelings which debt creates and the emotions it causes BUT if you can keep going and get some advice, plan it out and set some goals which you want, then it can be done.

I wish you success. Good luck.

althas

Catkitkat, I have sent you a private message, I hope it helps you

catkitkat

Thank you all so much xx

Nargleblast

Hope you are making some progress - keep us posted.