Want to enjoy life again...

chivers1977

Hi Mortgage Mamma

Wanted to come on and give you a big hug. You have helped so many people on this forum before and I am sorry to see that this has ended so badly. I must say that I would not be paying him anything until the finances are sorted out. If he is working then he should be paying towards his children rather than you paying him IMHO.

xxxx

bestpud

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Hopefully in the future I will meet someone kind, thoughtful, intelligent and dependable who will always been there for me and the kids. But I'm not hopeful as I reckon all the good men will be snatched up when I'm ready to see someone again, and I have about 4stone in weight to lose before then. I know I shouldnt be thinking about future relationships just yet but I'm just trying to keep looking forward rather than getting twisted and angry thinking about the past.

Honestly, I have no idea how you can even think of having another relationship at this point in time. I know I can't and I am a good bit further down the line!

My advice is try and be yourself for a while first and build your confidence a bit before embarking on another relationsip.

Sorry if I am speaking out of turn but I have seen so many women jump into a new relationship (for a variety of reasons but mostly lack of confidence in themselves) and end up in the same boat a year or two down the line.

MortgageMamma

Its not worked out that badly - I've been unloved and unhappy for many years and now I have the chance to put my life right again - thats a good thing

Its tough on the kids but kids are resilient and they have a first class mother. He won't be seeing another penny from me, and I'm going to push forward and do what I want and be a good mother and have a happy life.

Testicles to him!

MortgageMamma

bestpud wrote: »

Honestly, I have no idea how you can even think of having another relationship at this point in time. I know I can't and I am a good bit further down the line!

My advice is try and be yourself for a while first and build your confidence a bit before embarking on another relationsip.

Sorry if I am speaking out of turn but I have seen so many women jump into a new relationship (for a variety of reasons but mostly lack of confidence in themselves) and end up in the same boat a year or two down the line.

You are not speaking out of turn - I probably wouldn't let a man within 10 feet of me for a long time to come - I'm a daydreamer at heart and I'm still looking for the "happily ever after". I've always been a forward thinker and a forward planner. I'm using these happy thoughts to get me through this tough bit and keep me going - always hoping for something better!

I hope you know what I mean?

chivers1977

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Its not worked out that badly - I've been unloved and unhappy for many years and now I have the chance to put my life right again - thats a good thing

Its tough on the kids but kids are resilient and they have a first class mother. He won't be seeing another penny from me, and I'm going to push forward and do what I want and be a good mother and have a happy life.

Testicles to him!

That's it. You sound like you have loads of fight left in you whereas before you sounded beaten :T

Blackpool_Saver

You MUST get a solicitor, things have gone too far to negoiate directly with him, you can't reason with a drunk whos Mummy is looking after him while you raise the kids, get an injunction, separate your finances and stand firm.

bestpud

MortgageMamma wrote: »

You are not speaking out of turn - I probably wouldn't let a man within 10 feet of me for a long time to come - I'm a daydreamer at heart and I'm still looking for the "happily ever after". I've always been a forward thinker and a forward planner. I'm using these happy thoughts to get me through this tough bit and keep me going - always hoping for something better!

I hope you know what I mean?

Yeah I know what you mean.

Well, hopefully you are on the path to realising one of your dreams already.

Keep strong and read back through this thread when the going gets tough and you wonder what on earth you are doing. I found it helped to write down my feelings before and after we parted, as a reminder of why I needed to do it iyswim. Same with college/uni - make yourself a reminder to keep you going in the tougher times.

celyn90

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Its not worked out that badly - I've been unloved and unhappy for many years and now I have the chance to put my life right again - thats a good thing

Its tough on the kids but kids are resilient and they have a first class mother. He won't be seeing another penny from me, and I'm going to push forward and do what I want and be a good mother and have a happy life.

Testicles to him!

:T:T:T You go girl!

MortgageMamma

Thanks all, I feel so much better!! I did feel a bit crushed earlier but I've just realised I CAN DO IT! I have everything to look forward to now. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders financially and emotionally, and I've decided to let the kids stay up late and eat chocolate to celebrate. Time for a celbratory tipple methinks! thank you all, sincerely, I wouldnt have had the gumption to do this without you, and when I get really good at art you can all commission a painting from me for free as a thank you

MortgageMamma

Oh and thanks for the bit about the legal advice. I'll make an appt to see a solicitor I think to sort access. I'm also going to put a claim in for income support and tax credits and housing benefit and council tax benefit in early next week. I feel bad about the benefits bit but I guess I've paid my taxes for long enough....