Help! Moving in with in-laws, need survival tips

Dreaming_debtfree_dreams

Hi everyone,

I've been accepted on to a Masters at Oxford Brookes in Sept. I'm going to retrain as a Town Planner, have secured a bursary for some living expenses and fees, and OH and I plan to save money by living with the in-laws as they live only a mile from campus.

We got on really well, have been on holiday with them loads and visiting them is fine but I realise that is not the same as living with them for a year. I would therefore apprecieate anyone's advice for how we go about living with each other, without wanting to throttle one and other by the end of it or me and OH splitting up over it.

We've already agreed to pay lodge of about £80 per week for both of us, we're are going to have our own ensuite batroom and a spare bedroom to use as a sitting room and apparently there will be a timetable of sorts for when people use the kitchen. But any other tips and advice greatly appreciated.

Thanks

DDFD

sneggy

dont do it, lol
sorry no advice but good luck !!!!!!!

*Louise*

sneggy wrote: »

dont do it, lol

PML - that's exactly what I was going to write!:rotfl:

Seriously - you seem to have some ground rules laid down which is great (although thave a think if you need any more) and you have your own space which is really good.

What I would advise is rather than trying to make food etc at different times (and avoiding each other lol) make the effort a couple of times a week to have a family meal, so you are all chatting away and any problems can be nipped in the bud.

HopeAndDriftWood

I live with my boyfriend and his parents, which I suppose is slightly different because I'm 18 and he's 21, but it's worked well for us.
We have two rooms upstairs, our bedroom and a spare room, and we are up here or out most of the time, so that they get their own space. They use the kitchen first, at around 6 every night, and we use it after. We eat together on Sundays and when we have take aways, and do our own shopping.
It works well, I've been here since Feb and its the best place I've ever lived.

Dreaming_debtfree_dreams

Thanks everyone.

I was thinking of having a few shared meals, and the Masters sounds pretty intense so I'll be studying so much I probably won't have time to anything to annoy them, hopefully.

Think it's bothering OH more, as he's going back to live with his parents. Oh well, hopefully we can be proper grown ups after this and finally buy our own house

BitterAndTwisted

Be careful that your partner doesn't fall into the patterns of behaviour he exhibited as a child now that he's going to be back home with Mummy and Daddy.

You sound like sensible type so it goes without saying that you should be mindful at all times that firstly you are guests as well as members of the family, albeit with very special privileges.

It's not easy sharing a home with another couple, especially when that home is another couple's home-territory.

I'd ask the in-laws to speak up if and when anything happens that they're not totally happy with. That way, all doors are open and so are the lines of communication.

Smashing

Whose idea was it - yours or theirs?

bestpud

I don't know about needing survival tips; I'd say you need your head read!

It's good you have your own bathroom and sitting room though as that is bound to ease the pressure a bit.

I'd say the one things you must do a all costs is communicate any issues and let them do the same.

And, if they do have a issue, listen without getting defensive (easier said than done of course!), because your OH is likely to get stroppy if his parents start moaning about something.

elle_gee

OH and I have been having our house renovated so moved in with my parents for four weeks, then had five weeks away (premature birth of baby so we were staying in the hospital) and now we've been back here for two weeks. Looks like we've got another three weeks to go before we get to move back to our own house - and I can't wait!!

Would say it's a very good thing you have your own bathroom and sitting room as the things that have annoyed me are the rush for the bathroom in the morning and the fact that my mum appears to be deafer than when I moved out two years ago as she now has the tv too loud for my liking!

The thing that's got to my OH is the lack of fast internet connection. We live in a town with a 10mb connection and my parents live in the country with a 2mb at best. I know it sounds silly, but have a think about what's important to you in day to day life and make sure you have it - maybe it's just a certain brand of tea or coffee - cos it'll matter in the end

choccybuttons

Hi

Its doesnt sound too bad to me as it seems like your going to have your own mini bedsit almost in their house. I really like my in laws and though it would be a little stressful to live with them they are lovely and their would be no issue with buying food etc as my MIL likes to feed the world. Perhaps just sitting down and having a chat with them, explaining that you wont be around too much or studying in your room. Ask if they could give you a cupboard in the kitchen for your food and likewise in the fridge, and that if you use all the milk etc you will replace it. Honestly it sounds like you will be fine, esp having your own sittingroom will make things loads easier.

Mips

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Be careful that your partner doesn't fall into the patterns of behaviour he exhibited as a child now that he's going to be back home with Mummy and Daddy.

You sound like sensible type so it goes without saying that you should be mindful at all times that firstly you are guests as well as members of the family, albeit with very special privileges.

It's not easy sharing a home with another couple, especially when that home is another couple's home-territory.

I'd ask the in-laws to speak up if and when anything happens that they're not totally happy with. That way, all doors are open and so are the lines of communication.

This is the worst thing.. my ex would do this if we just went there for dinner :rolleyes:

Now he is living there again, I wouldn't be surprised if he's sat on her knee breast feeding again... pratt ...