Divorce - does it HAVE to involve money?!

Flipped27

My parents are going to get divorced after a 2 yr seperation - they have had a joint bank account all that time and there has been no problem but now I think my Mum is going to solicitors who are telling her that they need to split the money and assets etc.

Do they HAVE to? Can they just agree to carry on the way they are?

Is there a way to just get divorced without all this?!

I don't want my Mum to financially cripple my lovely hard working Dad just as he is about to retire....

Thanks for any advice x

peachyprice

No it doesn't have to involve money, or solicitors for that matter. A DIY divorece is a very easy thing to do as long as both sides are amicable.

It's a matter of filling forms, a few fees to pay, if I remember correctly there is one form they may have to get a solicitor/actuary to sign, but you can choose any solicitor without involving them in the disvorce, and submitting to the court.

Do they own a house together?

Flipped27

Thanks - yes they do own a house, and my Dad owns his office building and there are savings too.

They own 2 houses nearly outright - she lives in one, him in the other.......

But hers is worth less and so she would want some of the equity of the other house i suppose (even though he only moved there as he thought they would be getting back together)

My Mum wants for nothing, they share all money - except hers as she puts that away in her own bank account.....

God I am bitter

x

Dinah93

It would be very unusual to share a joint account once divorced, financial seperation is usually part of the process as it can not be easily addressed at a later date.

wannabe_sybil

Without a clean break divorce and financial settlement either would have claim on the pension of the other. Also any inheritances. Also is one going to empty out the joint account? What about if one meets another partner? Not so far fetched. My darling father is nearly 78 and has two lady friends.

You do not need to cover the finances or see a solicitor. You can be divorced without them. However if there is money around then it is advisable to get that sorted out or the acrimony will drag on forever.

What does your father want? If it is a quiet life then I suggest he raises as much money as he can, goes to a solicitor and pay your mother off. It sounds dreadful put like that, I mean no offence. But on a joint account he will be liable for her bills. He should try and get his name off that account as soon as he can! Also try and get it so both have to sign for withdrawals until it is closed.

Good luck, I hope this helps.

Pee

I don't see what the problem is. At the moment they each live in a house and share a joint account with your mum having some savings separately and your Dad having an office building and presumably a pension.

Could they not agree that they keep what they each have and that your father continues to pay a set sum to your mother? Whatever she is taking out of the joint accoun and he is putting in for that purpose at the moment. They can then have separate accounts and move on with their own lives. Otherwise there is an option of a pension split / her having a lump sum for the sale of the office building.

Her solicitors need to tell her what she is entitled to, and would be sued otherwise, but if they can reach a fair agreement between themselves that can be formalised by the court.

Flipped27

Thanks all

The problem is that we are worried she will try and make my Dad sell his home because she believes that she is entitled to half of it. Also that she will take half his pension just as he is about to retire and will make it impossible for him to give up work.

In other words, this is the power she holds over him and I am sick to death of seenig my Dad get hurt by her.

Does anyone know WILL a court make him sell his home? Even if she has her own bought outright from their last split?

Sorry, its all very complicated - I appreciate all the replies

Pee

Hmm... he needs to take legal advice. The starting point is that they are both entitled to half of everything from the marriage. I presume she is retirement age or thereabouts too?

Pee

It sounds like there are other assets besides the house - his office building and the pension. She would be entitled to half the pension, though, if she has no pension of her own.

Does she work?

Flipped27

She has just started working and earning her own money - I know she will say she brought all the children up so he could go to work blah blah blah but he has worked so hard and was so looking forward to retiring.

If she takes half his pension and makes him sell the house I may never be able to speak to her again but I am wary of telling her this. I just feel so about it.

I will tell him to go and see a solicitor but I am debating having it out with her too.....

Flipped27

Oh and yes, she is about retirement age but hasn't worked for about 30 yrs so she won't have saved for a pension i don't think...