Newbi needing some non-judgemental advice

SueP19

I have the same problem as you Moneymakes.....

got myself into a few "debates" in my time, hehe

I am glad you didn't mind me steping in, I just understood what you were saying

I'm a hug and tea girl, followed by choccie xx

Wol2

moneymakestheworldgoround wrote: »

Thanks SueP19 - much better put than me !!

Also Wol2 - you are correct about the written word. I read and reread my posts and others to see how they could be taken but it is SO hard to get a point across correctly. In real life my words would have been accompanied by a cup of tea and a hug.

The wider implications of the situation needed to be pointed out..you took time to do that out of concern for the OP's situation.....and in my opinion you DID word your post carefully. Thanks for posting here...and please don;t let this put you off posting on other threads....
xxx

ILW

moneymakestheworldgoround wrote: »

Thanks SueP19 - much better put than me !!

Also Wol2 - you are correct about the written word. I read and reread my posts and others to see how they could be taken but it is SO hard to get a point across correctly. In real life my words would have been accompanied by a cup of tea and a hug.

I think that whatever you had said would not have been accepted by the OP.
The only advice that she wants to hear is , "dont worry, your OH has done nothing wrong and it will all be alright". She will consider anything else to be judgemental.

Horace

I too tried to offer advice, but sometimes some people's ears and eyes are closed especially if the person giving advice is saying something that the other doesnt want to hear. In that case we are classed as being judgemental when in fact we are trying to help.

RAS

And a bit of background 24-06-2009, 11:39 AM

rachel4331 wrote: »

Hi CCCS cousellors,

I found out last night that my husband of 8 years has run up £7,500 worth of debt in another persons name all conected tho to our home address.

It has come to light now cos he faces loses his job (very high possibility) through redundancy on Friday and will therefore not be able to maintain the minimum monthly payments until he finds other work atleast.??

To say I am angry, upset, and very frightened is an understatement but after a sleepless night, I am going to stand by him and try and help. I also don't understand how he has gotten away with it, from the credit card companies point of view?

My question is tho, where do we go from here. A so-called friend is just telling him to ignore the debts cos it isn't in his name anyway? DH is also frightened to get CAB or any other debt organisation involved cos they will go to the police?

We have two young children and we are already just keeping our heads about water money wise but now this, it will tip us over the edge.

You have kindly helped us with our own debts in the past and so we need some advice of how to sort this mess.

Please help me.

Rachel

DVardysShadow

For the record, OP posted this thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/38128470#Comment_38128470 at 1704 today and after I posted a link on that thread back to this thread, OP edited her posts on this thread at 1815 to remove content. Thanks to RAS for preserving the key post.