Newbi needing some non-judgemental advice

keeleyw24

Oh no, MEN! My ex was stealing money out of the till from his place of work, (nearly £3'000:mad:), he was hiding it in his car and I had no idea! His bosses found out and threatened him with prosecution but ended up taking it out of his wages every month for a certain amount of time, so he was very lucky...although he should have been prosecuted as he wasn't very nice!!!!:p

Do you have anything you can sell? A second car maybe, I know that sounds a bit drastic! Or old video's, clothes, DVD's, toys, etc, you can make a heap on eBay or car boots.

I was going to suggest a second job for one of you, or both of you if you have friends/relatives who can help with childcare? Try ironing for money, put flyers up round where you live, generally £20 per black binbag....

Sorry if these are all totally obvious things you have thought of, I really hope you can sort this out.

I also agree with the others about going to CCCS?

K xx

Wol2

Just been on the CCCS sticky thread and they recommend the following for free legal advice....worth a call?

http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/ or they can be contacted on 0845 345 4345


xxx

Wol2

Just seen your post on CCCS thread Hun...can you edit it to include the stuff about the existing DMP you have as it's how that could be affected that they will be able to comment on....not the legal stuff about the fraud......try the phone number on the post above for that
xx

dancingfairy

I would get some legal advice as I don't know where you stand with regards to the fraud - if you honestly didn't know then you need to protect yourself - you don't want to risk any prosecution for helping him / not reporting it.
Also - you say he's been robbing Peter to pay Paul - did you not question where the money was coming from each month or where it was going? Was the budget just not workable? I just wonder whether you need to take some responsibilty - if you were letting him sort it all out each month?
Obviously I don't know you or your circumstances so appologies if I am wrong but part of me thinks maybe you knew something was wrong and thought he would handle it?
Maybe you need to consider this for the future - maybe you need to keep a closer eye on things?
You need to think of yourself and your children.
Does you OH need to go to the doctor as you said in your previous post - he just can't control his spending - I don't know whether there is some underlying issue at all?
df

moneymakestheworldgoround

I do feel for you - just when you thought all was calming down and your DMP was working, this happens.

Debt is a stressful thing and it cant be easy to be in this mess.

BUT with the risk of being judgemental and possibly sounding harsher than the other posters on here, I dont think your view is going to help.

rachel4331 wrote: »

See I don't think for one minute he did this deliberately, it was just an easy was to obtain money and a cry for help. I can't help but think in some respects, the credit card companies make it too easy.

I may have misunderstood your words, but he DID do it deliberately. If you had a DMP all bases should have been covered, apart from luxuries, and you shouldnt need extra cash to make payments. He obtained a DIY kit from the internet, this information didnt accidentally fall into his lap. He has committed fraud and he has put you and the children in a potentially sticky situation. I dont think trying to attribute blame to the credit card companies is going to help you realise he may have a major problem with spending. Regardless of checks they have or havent done, he still obtained credit with the intention of deceit.

Most of us on here have all spent outside our means, and have continued to do so knowing in the back of our minds we needed to stop. But you had this LBM before and sorted it. Fraud is a totally different area I am not sure the majority of DFWs have delved into.

I hope you get this sorted, but please dont forget the input from your OH into this mess. He isnt a victim of poor credit procedures.

moneymakestheworldgoround

I thought a DMP was getting creditors to accept reduced payments over a period of time to clear the debt whilst in financial difficulty? It doesnt have to be with a company, it can be done by yourselves.

I apologised for the judgement I was about to cast, but the others posts on here were very helpful I thought. No one has been hammering you, but it seems there are many layers to this problem. Your OH, his spending, the exisiting DMP, the implication of fraud, the potential redundancy, you and the kids......

You will need to strong to tackle all of these.

Hopefully someone will come along with the answer you are expecting.

Wol2

rachel4331 wrote: »

As I have said, we don't have a DMP. We are handling other debts ourselves with previous help and advice from the CCCS.

Whats done is done, I cannot change that and part of me atleast knows now whats been going on.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I really didn't know anything about it, but yes, from now I will be handling most of our finances.

I think I will bow-out now. I am extremely upset and as my post highlights, I was looking for some non-judgemental advice, not a hammering.

Feel the need to look elsewhere for help.

Hi Rachel

One last post in order to avoid confusion..and for the benfit of anyone reading this thread in the future who may be looking for advice...........the arrangements you have made with your creditors is still referred to as a DMP here on the forum, whether you have personally arranged it or a company or debt charity manages it on your behalf.

Sorry you feel upset with the responses you have received....please bear in mind that the people who regularly give up their time to post on here to help others can only do their best...we're all human...and written posts without the benefit of body language/tone of voice can be misinterpreted or seem over harsh..

Good luck and I hope everything works out Ok for you and yours
Wol2
xx

Ames

Not sure if you're still here, but just wanted to say that community legal services can only help if you're eligible for legal aid.

SueP19

Hi Rachel

I am sorry you feel that you have to leave this board. Good or bad this board is a life saver, sometimes things are said that one doesn't want to hear and taking offense is all too easy. Another person may read very differently into a post than someone else.

I have not seen anything on here that is unkind, hurtful or nasty..............what I have seen is help, advice and concern from all posts.

It may be worth you going away, just for a day, then coming back and re-reading what has been said, it is obvious from your title that you expected to be judged on here. Your feeling of hurt surely are for your OH not this board

Moneymakestheworldgoround was NOT being harsh, they can probably read what I do in your posts...............a loving caring wife and mother who will forgive her OH anything!!!!! To point out that it was fraudulant was only merely stating the obvious, I don't think it was meant to hurt you. It appears to me that you are "brushing under the carpet" what your OH has done because to deal with it would be too hard

You do have a serious issue behind this, in that your OH obtained money by deception, in order to spend money. If this was for everyday things then your budget needs to be looked at, if not then addiction springs to mind.

These things are sortable, with this boards help, so don't walk away, it's the easiest thing to do when you feel hurt and returning is the hardest thing to do when you realise you have made a mistake.

Hugs xx

moneymakestheworldgoround

Thanks SueP19 - much better put than me !!

Also Wol2 - you are correct about the written word. I read and reread my posts and others to see how they could be taken but it is SO hard to get a point across correctly. In real life my words would have been accompanied by a cup of tea and a hug.