Post 16 education

mountainofdebt

Need some advice and would appreciate others thoughts ....

DS has just finished his GCSEs and is due to continue with studying.

The school he has been attending is an all boys school but they accept girls into the sixth form whereas the girls school accept boys at 6th form level and up until a few weeks ago, DS was going to the boys school. All of a sudden he announced that he was going to go to the girls school to study.

I can't help but feel that this is the worng choice for him ......his present school is more modern (only 7 years old) the teachers know him, know how to get the best out of him.

OH feels that its up to DS to decide, even though OH thinks DS would be better off at the boys school.

Would you let your 16 old make that sort of choice?

skintchick

I don;t have one yet but my friends have a similar situation in that their DD has been offered a free place at a private school locally, but had been planning to go to the local college.

They are letting her make her own decision, but talking it through with her, and with others like me. I went to provate school then went state for my A-levels and regret it so she was interested to hear my story.

Anyway, short answer is I'm afraid he has to make his own decisions, no matter how hard that is for you.

mountainofdebt

Shintchick,

I agree its his choice but trying to talk to him about it is like talking to the wall.....when I bring the subject up its a roll of the eyes and I'm sorry but that's like a red rag to a bull to me and my good intentions of talking to him end up flying out of the window.

I can't help feeling that something was said to him before his exams.......don't get me wrong, the teachers at his school want him to come back and I'm just wondering if instead of letting it lie they have been on at him so much that he's digging his heels in over this.

Unfortuantely he's away when his results are published added to which he's due to be away for three weeks in September ......I've spoken to his current school and they are ok with it....something I don't know if the girls school would be (we did ask about occasional absences and they were ok but three weeks at the very beginning????)

**confuzzled**

Out of curiosity......coul dit be something to do with a girl who's going to be at teh 6th form college at the girls school???
Teenagers make some rash decisions whe the opposite sex is involved:rolleyes:

I reiterate what skintchick has said but I would say if you do sit and talk to him again don't get wound up when he rolls his eyes just take a deep breath and carry on:) Easier said than done but definitely worth another shot.....have you asked a teacher from his school to talk to him about it?? He might listen to them more

MrsTinks

I think the more you harp on at him about it the less constructive any conversation will be... at 16 he's old enough to make his own choices and the best i think you can do is ask him why he's chosen the "girl" school instead to try and find out if he's actually thought about it - is there a subject that one school does and the other does not?
I went to 8 different schools in my time thanks to being first moved around with my parents etc splitting up and then being a "Navy brat" - so we got stationed in 2 different countries - cue 3 different schools for me to add to my list... It's not the end of the world I managed passable A-level equivalents (European Baccalaureate). Just be supportive of his choices and try to have a conversation with him that ISN'T "why why why" but "ok you want to go there - but I'm really curious as to why you have chosen it - you wanna go that's fine but can you tell me why? I just want to understand what made you decide that, nothing else!"

mountainofdebt

No girls in the street and the ones I know he chats to on msn either go or are going to different 6th form establishments so I don't think its that although DS did tell one of his teachers that the reason he was going there was becuase of the girls but he told me he only said that as a wind up!

The teachers have spoken to him (they want him that badly,lol!) and I think that is half the problem....I think they may have overdone it and whereas a rational decision (whatever that would be) might have been reached, now he's giving the impression of digging his heels in and wanting to go to the girls school now out of sheer pig-headness.

melorablack

He is 16, of course he wants to go to the girls school - because of the girls lol

Rikki

melorablack wrote: »

He is 16, of course he wants to go to the girls school - because of the girls lol

Wait till he realises all the girls are going to his old school for the boys. :rotfl:

oystercatcher

Well almost two years ago my middle DS decided he wanted to change schools for sixth form. He said he didn't get on with the maths teachers at his old school and as he wanted to study further maths he wanted different teachers. His argument was "I want to get good results and go to a good Uni" I couldn't argue with that so we looked around and he went to a comprehensive in the next town. He has done outstandingly well there and so youngest DS started sixth form there the year after. He wasn't quite as sure about changing but it was his descision and he's not regretted it at all.
I think at this age they know their own minds and it's best to let them make their own decsions. I know a several lads who have dropped out for sixth form for no good reason and really upset their parents, so isn't it better to go somewhere he's keen to go.

Most schools round here like you to apply for sixth form in February so have you actually checked that the new school will give him a place ?
They will certainly want to speak to him shortly after results are issued to check his choices.
Not sure that three weeks away in September is going to be a good idea. He will be taking some of his AS modules in December and Febuary and could miss some crucial subjects!

mountainofdebt

In fairness, we have been to the girls' school to have a look around and he has spoken to the subject teachers so I don't think this is a whim ....but for me the visit just highlighted the difference in facilities.

I know it will ultimately be his choice and as he's going away shortly for a month, it will give us both some breathing space.......what might help is that he will be spending the best part of three weeks with some students who have just left the upper sixth so hopefully they will be able to talk to him rather than at him, which is what I think he perceives everyone else doing.

I know him going away for up to three weeks in September is not ideal......a week of that can be postponed but for the remaining fortnight he has been offered a chance of a lifetime which will be ultimately useful in his future career and offers like this don't come around very often so he has to grap at least this fortnight with both hands.

milliebear00001

Has he told you his reasons for wanting to change? They may be perfectly valid. A change at 6th Form level can be a very good thing. He'll get the chance to meet different people and spread his wings - a very good prep for going off to Uni. I changed to a 6th Form College after finishing at school and had a much broader experience than many of my friends. I never regretted leaving my school, and felt I could almost 'start afresh' without anyone having any preconceptions about me - it was very liberating. Perhaps your son has issues with his current school/set of friends of which you are unaware? Perhaps he feels he's outgrown them in some way - we change a hell of a lot between 11 and 16.