feel sick :(

judi24

I don't have twins - but I have 4 children of varying ages and know how difficult and isolating it can be! I can only begin to imagin how difficult it is to ge anything done with 3 under 3. Mums and tots groups were a god send to me. I can understand why you want to keep the nursery going - but maybe you could look for a state run one. Your local council should have a list. Also you could try something finding a twins club http://www.twinsclub.co.uk/clubs.htm?oc=rel&di=desc&subj=clubs You might be able to meet with other mums who understand what having twins is all about. I know this doesn't help with your finances but it may help YOU cope better. Good luck x

vodooelephant

nadine12 wrote: »

Also, following on from your last post, Home Start offer help to mums with very young children - usually volunteers - someone can come to your home a couple of hours a week to help with whatever you need to help give you a break. Their website is www.home-start.org.uk - you can find your local scheme on there.

Hi thanks I signed up with surestart and a lady comes by some weeks for a couple of hours...She works as well so often cancells She usally plays with my 3 yr old in her room- we do go to the event hosted by surestart in the local hall (althoiugh the last one we went to another parent claimed my car had damaged his and is calling me/dh and insurance company trying to claim ??)

vodooelephant

Hi my matternity leave has now finished. I worked 15 hours a week. I have looked into childcare so i can work but witha 3 yr old and baby twins it is extreamly pricey. No family would be willing to have them
DH leaves for work 730am and gets home around 6.30 pm. The boys dont sleep very well, neither does my DD some i am up alot thoughout the night.

As for the rent - we use to live with MIL but were evicted (she remarried and wanted the rooms for HIS family..) This is what the council offered us, saying we would get a reduction with LHA., and a reduction in council tax.. so rent should be around 400.... this never materalized. I have a woman from the council visiting in a few minutes...

Tixy

vodooelephant wrote: »

This is what the council offered us, saying we would get a reduction with LHA., and a reduction in council tax.. so rent should be around 400.... this never materalized. I have a woman from the council visiting in a few minutes...

Hi voodooelephant.

Sorry to hear your tough time and sounds like OH is not helping things for you. Definatley question this council woman about housing benefit & council tax benefits - you need these and if you are entitled to them then fight for them. If you has these things would be managable for you. Good luck

Nargleblast

Hope the visit from the council official was productive. You have a lot on your plate at the moment but there are solutions to all problems, and you will get there. Keep in touch.

ladybez

Sorry to hear of your difficulties and hope todays discussions are productive. I fully understand the issue with twins, I have a set. They are now 8 and things have become easier but I remember vividly the early stages. Mine were premies as well. Would like to wish you good luck

dancingfairy

Hi. You need to get the benefits sorted asap. You need to find out what you are entitled to and start claiming to help you get back on your feet.
Also there is a group called TAMBA - see here
http://www.tamba.org.uk/Page.aspx?pid=195 who offer support to peoples with twins, triplets , or more. They are meant to be really good from what I've heard.
Would also check out the nursery thing as well as I am sure you must be entitled to some free hours.
I think you also need to have a chat to other half and go through the finances together and explain the situation and try and pull together on this one.
Once you start getting all the help you are entitled to things will be easier for you.
Also although you may not be able to work due to childcare issues - maybe there are things you can do from home - surveys, clicks, using cashback sites, mystery shopping, making crafts to selll, etc, etc. I am sure others will have loads of ideas on this one.
df

crapwithcash82

vodooelephant wrote: »

Hi my matternity leave has now finished. I worked 15 hours a week. I have looked into childcare so i can work but witha 3 yr old and baby twins it is extreamly pricey. No family would be willing to have them
DH leaves for work 730am and gets home around 6.30 pm. The boys dont sleep very well, neither does my DD some i am up alot thoughout the night.

As for the rent - we use to live with MIL but were evicted (she remarried and wanted the rooms for HIS family..) This is what the council offered us, saying we would get a reduction with LHA., and a reduction in council tax.. so rent should be around 400.... this never materalized. I have a woman from the council visiting in a few minutes...

Just wanted to say good luck with the visit from the council and I hope they manage to help you out!

You'll get lots of support and ideas from this site, so keep your chin up! Will check back later and see how you got on with the council....

tryingtoruletheworld

Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time at the mo, I am sure the lovely peeps on here will be able to help.

Firstly, there is no point in you trying so hard to sort out all your finances if your OH is going to keep secrets and get you even further into debt. Obviously it is up to you how you deal with your marriage, but I know what it is like to be with someone who is terrible with money! He needs to know exactly what he is doing to you and your family, and I am afraid it sounds like you are definitely going to have to take charge.

Make sure you cancel all cards (including debit cards) he knows about, or change the pin numbers and keep them secret, and maybe think about opening a separate account for any future savings etc.

I really hope things went well with the council, on your income you should be eligible for some help with your rent and council tax. And get in touch with them about the free nursery place for your 3 year old.

If you want to make a little extra cash, surveys etc are a very good way of getting a little extra bonus, especially as they are always looking for people with young children. I get loads, will pm you with a list if you want?

And keep an eye out for mums and baby groups, coffee mornings and even yoga with tots, to get you mixing with some other adults!

Hope things get better for you soon xx

Ames

How much of the debt is in joint names? ie, how much are you responsible for? It might be worth you just concentrate on that and leave him to sort out his own problems with stuff in his own name. Maybe seeing you making inroads and eventually becoming debt free will help him?