Was I drugged? Advice/opinions welcomed

Fionnuala_2

Thanks Trafalgar.

There are only so many excuses I can make for my friend. If I keep apologising he'll lose more respect for me and that is why I'm not going to email or write to him again. My apologies whether whispered once or shouted one thousand times are sincere, but aren't the same as his forgiveness. He'll either come back to me or he won't, I cannot force him to forgive. Like everyone he's got troubles of his own. I have to stand back and let him make his own mind up. He was a good friend on the night but from what I gather I just chucked it back in his face.

Yes, I am disappointed that he's being slow about it and if he does come back to me then in time I'll tell him so.

Thanks again, this thread has been a great help to me. I hope it's been useful for other Seroxat users too.

summerday

FTS,

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. A few years ago I was out with some friends and having a few drinks when fairly suddenly I went pretty psycho- it felt like I was seeing everyting through video game graphics and I was convinced everyone was out to kill me- it sounds madness now, but it really felt that way at the time. I wouldn't let anyone near me, even my friends and I was totally hysterical. It was very blurry the next day in terms of what I could remember but my mum whose a nurse came to pick me up and she was convinced I'd been given some kind of drug. So it's possible you were given some kind of drug if not a date rape drug. There's all sorts of nasty people out there with access to nasty things so be on your guard at all times esp. if you're drinking.
P.S. I'd give your friend the few days for a bit of space, then maybe send him a letter after New Year. All you can do is apologise for how you were at the time, but make a point that it wasn't really you and you were a victim. If he is a real friend he will forgive you.
Sarah.x

FieryBlondeScot

im a drugs worker, if your drink was not spiked with some sort of drug, it seems most likely to me that your symptoms arose from the interaction between the drugs you had taken, alcohol is a depressent and so is seroxat, therefore the effect of the alcohol on top of the seroxat increases the sedative effect.

always always keep your eye on your drink, it takes a second to slip something into it.

Greenstuff_2

I'd just like to add that this shows the importance of going out in a crowd.
Lets face it no one could have forseen this and just for curiosity next time youre out somewhere look at how many people have their thumbs over their bottles.
It's very hard to avoid, but, if you always go out with trusted friends make a pact that whatever happens they will not leave you.
As with this incident, the true friend helped, yes he is pretty miffed but that will be repaired - as will the elbow, but what could have happened might not have been.
A few years ago coming back from work late after a Christmas drink, there was a young girl at the bus stop sat on the floor next to a pool of sick. (sorry!) she was out of it and it was dark and pretty late, everyone was ignoring her.
I ended up getting her address out of her and that she had some cash and put her in a cab, (the driver refused to take her at first until I pointed out that it could be his daughter).
Anything could have happened to her of course, and I'm guessing that she was only on drink, but she would have been a lot safer obviously if with a couple of friends.
Just my suggestion, Merry Christmas everyone.

Jeryth

FTS

(this thread is being hijacked by many people recounting their experiences in the hope it helps FTS, and I'm sure it does, but are some of you asking for help and reassurance yourselves?) Feel free to PM me and tell me I'm wrong.

FTS, you sound like a very sensible, caring, and determined young lady. I applaud you. Perhaps your friend has something else on his mind, and is ultra-sensitive to your previous actions. You will find out more in the New Year (and yes, write a letter. even if you write one now, then rip it up). You seem happy that you have accounted for the loss of memory episode, so please do not be alarmed by the scare stories. You have done the sensible thing and talked to your GP. Please rest easy now, and enjoy your Christmas.

And yes, I've been drink/drugged, and I have also done it to myself by adding alcohol to my usual medication. I have survived both, and you can too.

trafalgar_2

FTS

(this thread is being hijacked by many people recounting their experiences in the hope it helps FTS, and I'm sure it does, but are some of you asking for help and reassurance yourselves?)  Feel free to PM me and tell me I'm wrong.
.

It hasn't been hijacked if the experiences help FTS and if, it in turn ,helps lots of others gain reassurance and help that's a good thing too

Fionnuala_2

Hello everyone, especially Jeryth and Trafalgar

I am really happy that people have felt able to share here their bad experiences, whether involving Seroxat or not. I know now that I am not the only one that this horrible thing happened to. While I have never met any of you out in cyberspace I feel like I belong to some sort of enlightened group. Many of us have visited some awful place inside ourselves but have also found some unknown inner spring of strength and been able to make some sort of step forward and away from from that horrid place. I would not be surprised if there are people reading this thread but hesitating to add anything because they are hurting too much at the moment - to them I can only say that everything changes and feeling bad won't be forever.

My friend is still rejecting me, but I have to keep telling myself that this is his knee-jerk reaction and he'll get bored of being angry. I read somewhere recently, maybe on this website, that life is 10% experience and 90% reaction to that experience. I know from further reading we can choose our reactions, just like we all choose what to say and do, though it does take practice and effort to learn this skill. Ironically I learnt this from a book which I lent to my friend about a month ago but which he hasn't actually started reading yet. He doesn't know how to choose his 90% wisely, either for himself, for me or for the others who were present that night. What are they going to think of him if he never forgives me? I do know from personal experience it takes a lot of effort to be angry and you only spend that amount of energy on things and people you care about. I am not going to punish myself any more by worrying about him - I know I am sorry and I do love him very much. I will be here when he decides to forgive and I will forgive him his anger at what I could not help. Somewhere up this thread someone described how their friend had an infamously bad and out of character day in front of a large assembly of friends and family - but that all those who witnessed it have forgiven her and love her anyway. What a lucky, lucky woman to have so many people around her who so readily chose to forgive and forget.

In the meantime I am still battling with the reasons I started the Seroxat in the first place. I am with an excellent GP and she is organising some counselling for me. I know I can get better if I want to, and I do want to of course. My friend has problems of his own, but I hope and pray he will come back to me and help me.

Thank you again everyone. Putting the original question onto "Money Saving Expert" was probably one of wisest things I have done to try and solve the problem from Sunday. It has been enlightening to get so much back. Thank you.

trafalgar_2

And thank you FTS for that last post ,you make an awful lot of sense

Good luck to you and keep looking ahead

bridiej

Just discovered this post, hope everything worked out OK for you with your friend?

In Kent there is a drinks manufacturer (cant remember which one...) who has started supplying alcoholic drinks in "sports" type plastic bottles - the ones where you click the top open and press it shut. Obviously the thinking is that these are impossible to slip a drug into and save the "thumb on the bottle" thing.

Another thought though, you should never actually drink from the bottles because of the disease rats carry in their urine... (Wiles disease?)

Reed_Richards

My apologies whether whispered once or shouted one thousand times are sincere, but aren't the same as his forgiveness.

If I were your friend I might have been hurt by what you said but men usually don't take words to heart in quite the way that women do. I might instead be worried that in your uninhibited state you had revealed something of your true feelings and a bad side to your character.

So I would want to know that you were very sorry for what you said and for embarrassing me in front of my friends by your bad behaviour. I would want to know that you were ashamed and embarrassed about what had happened and that you felt your behaviour was completely out of character, even for when you are drunk.

I would be reassured if you explained that you had no certain explanation for what had happened but think it was probably due to an adverse reaction between the alcohol and some medication you were taking. You had now seen your doctor about alternative treatments and in the meantime were not drinking alcohol at all.

And I'm sure I would be pleased to hear how tremendously grateful you were that I had stuck by you and been the true "friend in need". If you're into gifts then a small thank you present of something you know I like might go down very well.

If you told me all that and then made a determined effort to put the matter behind you by behaving as normal then I think my heart would be melted and I would forgive you and put aside my reservations.

If you told your friend all this and he remains distant then I'm afraid it probably was not meant to be. But if all you gave your friend was a whispered apology followed by an embarrassed silence then he is probably worried that if he continues seeing you then the same thing will happen again.