If kids are old enough to get pocket money, do THEY buy fathers day cards/presents?

anonymousie

easy wrote: »

This is perplexing me a bit.

DS is 9, and gets £5 a week (if he behaves, does his jobs etc. It was actually only £2 last week, cos he had a bad week).

Out of that he buys his comics (Beano, NG Kids), and we try to get him to save up for his lego bits & pieces, or if him and mates want sweets from the paper shop when playing out.

On Saturday, I reminded him he would need to choose a birthday card for Granny, and a Father's day card.

This lead to a discussion about who takes financial responsibilty for such things, and we compromised in that he bought cards, but I'm paying for a present for him to give DH.

What do you do?

Yes if they want to buy stuff then they do so out of pocket money.

HOWEVER we never buy cards from the kids to relatives - if they want to send they make them, which means the girls spend ages making something fantastic and DS draws a crooked cake and writes "Happy Birthday" (atleast now, at 13 it is spelled well!!). THese are alays well recieved.

Presents are either bought or handmade- again the girls tend to make, DS hits the pound shop for the best value for money! DD2 is just 10 and I have a collection of lovely, carefully coloured pictures and window hangers from various birthdays mothers days etc:T. Mind you (ahem) father christmas makes sure she has enough crafty stuff in hand, so "it's grandmas birthday soon, why don't you get out that fairy art book and see what you can do" is easy!

Fathers day and mothers day have never been "parent lead" in this house. I did get a bit upset iniially when DD (less than a year) didn't "get me anything" but DH said "you're not my mother":mad:. He did get the message and organise them when they were little but now I get what eer DD2 makes at school and hastily constructed cards from the others. I'll try to remember to tell them it is fathers day but beyond that nothing, apart from remembering to send my dad a card!

hotfuzzfan

My daughter aged 12 wanted to buy a birthday present for her gran and also a fathers day present, she would have had to use money she had been given for her birthday. thats her own money and I dont think thats fair, so i paid. If it was a small present for a friend at school, fair enough, but not family.

anonymousie

oystercatcher wrote: »

If the family are used to recieving more expensive gifts then best warn them they are now going to get small self funded gifts. Hopefully they will appreciate the thought rather than being materialistic!

ITA with this. I have trained the kids to be savvy shoppers and, in particular when it comes to prsents for mates, not get involved in the cost escalation of trying to be bigger/better than Xs present. Pound shop bargains with MSE enhancements are usually the order of the day eg a cheap mug filled with sweets, or (very popular) the larger £1 toblerones that poundland do. Charity shop hauls also to be encouraged!

easy

Well you all busily make card s & stuff, but I'm afraid my DS just isn't a crafts type kid. Cutting and sticking never held much appeal for him, bless him he can't draw for toffee, art isn't his thing (he's a mean guitarist tho').

And at 9, it's another thing that isn't 'cool'. I suspect lots of you have younger children?

Some of you seem to think that as parents, we're wanting expensive pressies & stuff, but we don't. I do want DS to think about appropriate gifts for people tho', and put in some effort that way.

Smashing

If he's gettiing £5 a week he could easily afford to get him a token present that would probably mean more than something more expensive you paid for.

He could get a fathers day toblerone for £1.50 in Tesco. Poundland have various gifts etc. If he didn't want to buy a card and isn't arty he could easily makes on on the computer using clip art.

sooz

£5 pocket money might seem like a lot, but kids comics are horribly expensive. Most are between £2 or £3 and they come out every week:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Do you think I can persuade my DS to read Marie Claire instead of Toxic? It's thicker, has better quality paper, & the freebies are better

easy

sooz wrote: »

£5 pocket money might seem like a lot, but kids comics are horribly expensive. Most are between £2 or £3 and they come out every week:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Do you think I can persuade my DS to read Marie Claire instead of Toxic? It's thicker, has better quality paper, & the freebies are better

You are soooo right sooz. Even the Beano is £1.25 now, and altho DS loves it so, it only takes him about 20 mins to read thru it. NG Kids, which is a super magazine, is £2.99 (monthly)

I know lots of people think that £5 is a lot, but before we introduced a weekly pocket money, I was spending more on him, what with a comic here & there, things like special packs of pencils, or football cards or Go-Gos (little collectable figures that they swap at school), not to mention sweets & ice lollies etc.

Now he gets his £5 on Saturday (if he has done his chores and not got in trouble at school, otherwise he gets less), and he buys whichever of those things he wants over the week. It's rare now that I buy him sweets or extra treats, unless he's done something exceptional. If he wants a new lego set, he saves a bit up, and checks ebay/amazon etc to find the best price for it. I'm going to gently introduce the idea of saving some up for prezzies and things I think, he has 3 or four piggy banks, maybe we'll label them for different things.

But this way, I'm in pocket, he's learning the value of money, and how to earn it, so everyone wins.

Lunar_Eclipse

In terms of pocket money, I think £5 is a fair amount, particularly since he is actually earning it, or some of it by doing chores. It is also less than the national average I think, although that has declined a lot over the past year with the economic crisis.

My 9 year old (only) gets £3/week, but it is not in exchange for anything. It is her share of our family money and doesn't go far! It is basically for anything we deem unnecessary that they would like, toys, mags, sweets, occasional clothes etc. We also expect them to spend their own money at school events and fairs etc.

Mine are currently doing cricket on Friday evenings and have bought a J2O, crisps and a burger afterwards for the last 2 weeks. This costs £3.30, more than their weekly pocket money. They are happy to spend their own money, but I think it's a bit much so have decided that tonight I'll be taking crisps from home, I'll buy burgers but they can buy drinks. Again we could take them from home, but it is their treat to have a fizzy drink afterwards (and it reduces their money left for plastic crap!) and I'm happy to support the very reasonably priced bar. Plus I think life is about balance, not being a cheapskate all of the time - if one can afford otherwise.

Anyhow my answer to your dilemna is that it all depends what you have agreed the pocket money is for. If you haven't actually agreed anything, then it's time to think about it and agree it with your son. Personally I think it's a little close to Father's Day to suddenly decide it is to include presents with immediate effect. If you want it to include gifts generally, do a quick calculation of how many gifts x random amount this is likely to cost so you can assess whether it is realistic on his pocket money.

Whilst gifts do not need to cost the Earth and I'm trying to curb materialism (as many others are), I wouldn't be encouraging my child to buy most of their gifts in the Pound Shop. This is partly because we don't have one where we live, but also because I'm not a fan of the quality of many of their items. We don't buy kids presents from the Pound Shop so I wouldn't expect my child to, purely in the interests of lowest possible purchasing. Additionally, there are lessons to be learnt about saving up for what someone would really like/need, quality vs quantity etc.

In this instance I think the card/gift financial split you have suggested is a good one. I haven't even thought about Father's Day tbh (my poor Dad!), but I expect homemade cards with chocolate and a cheap DVD/book will be on the cards tomorrow morning for my husband.