If kids are old enough to get pocket money, do THEY buy fathers day cards/presents?

easy

This is perplexing me a bit.

DS is 9, and gets £5 a week (if he behaves, does his jobs etc. It was actually only £2 last week, cos he had a bad week).

Out of that he buys his comics (Beano, NG Kids), and we try to get him to save up for his lego bits & pieces, or if him and mates want sweets from the paper shop when playing out.

On Saturday, I reminded him he would need to choose a birthday card for Granny, and a Father's day card.

This lead to a discussion about who takes financial responsibilty for such things, and we compromised in that he bought cards, but I'm paying for a present for him to give DH.

What do you do?

kindofagilr

I personally think you should buy it, he is only 9, does he use his money to buy any other presents? like birthdays and christmas etc?

Each to their own though?

easy

kindofagilr wrote: »

does he use his money to buy any other presents? like birthdays and christmas etc?

Well he hasn't been, but only been on formal pocket money in recent months. We did this
a) because we could link it to chores & behaviour targets and
b) I realised that I was spending a fortune on comics and bits & pieces every week, so this way he can buy what he can afford.


I'm wondering what we should do when birthdays come around later in the year, and of course Christmas. I think £5 is quite a lot for a 9 y.o., but then I know lots of people who give pocket money, but still buy comics & so on.

I think DH paid for my mother's day card & pressie.

mountainlioness

Maybe a compromise and say if he saves up £x for a gift, you'll match it or add a certain amount so it comes to enough for a token gift? That way he's taken responsibility (and will hopefully be proud of being 'adult' and bought his own) but you've recognised that at his age he can't really do it all on his own?

blue_ashleigh

I think him buying the card and you buying the prezzie is fair enough - it still teaches him about money etc. but doesn't stop him having money for himself

tori.k

I paid until the kids started college (11+) they get £10 a week and its up to them to save for each other's birthday/ xmas,
as parents it's up to us to teach them to budget and the added bonus of them buying gifts for each other, is that they are realistic when asking for gifts for themselves.
i will always remember the day when my son was 12 and came out with "a fiver doesnt go anywhere now'a'days" re-read, the kids only buy within the immediate family, i still buy for grandparent etc

kindofagilr

Yeah I really dont think he is old enough to be paying for presents for people.

When I was a kid we did the same thing, I got like 25p when I did the dishes, took out the rubbish, etc etc, so then I could save it up and buy my comics etc

But my mam bought all the presents for the family and just got us to sign our names

Mam didnt have a OH (he left when I was little) so the topic of fathers day etc didnt come up, but I personally think you should buy the fathers day things and OH should buy the mothers day things, then for birthdays etc just sign his name (or ask him to sign his name)

We didnt have to start contributing to presents till we were working

I am not saying the way mam did it gospel lol just letting you know thats what happened to us

Claire3121

easy wrote: »

This is perplexing me a bit.

DS is 9, and gets £5 a week (if he behaves, does his jobs etc. It was actually only £2 last week, cos he had a bad week).

Out of that he buys his comics (Beano, NG Kids), and we try to get him to save up for his lego bits & pieces, or if him and mates want sweets from the paper shop when playing out.

On Saturday, I reminded him he would need to choose a birthday card for Granny, and a Father's day card.

This lead to a discussion about who takes financial responsibilty for such things, and we compromised in that he bought cards, but I'm paying for a present for him to give DH.


What do you do?

I think at that age,they shouldn't be expected to buy other family members birthday cards,but only buy for parents. Maybe get him to earn more money by doing extra chores if his pocket money needs to stretch a bit more one week...

dieselhead

Mmmmm I'm in two minds about this one, firstly I think that at 9 the parent should still be paying for presents, but £5 a week pocket money does seem to be quite a lot for a 9 year old. Although it could just be that I am out of touch I don't know how much comics etc cost.

To be honest I think what you have don't is probably about right, getting him to buy cards if you buy the present, after all cards can often be £2-3+ so thats a good chunk of his pocket money especially if (like you said) the rules are being enforced rigidly so if he misbehaves he is not getting all his pocket money.

Gothdolly

My son is 10 and gets £5 per week (£3 goes into the bank to help him save for big stuff, the other £2 he gets to spend as he wishes).

His dad remarried a couple of years ago but I do pay for (or we make) the card. My son likes to buy presents out of his own money but I do try and get him to set a limit on how much he should spend. I also try to get him to make something rather than spend his cash! He's turning into a right little MSE'r

lostinrates

£5 for a nine year old seems generous! (I have no children so I might well be out of touch).

When I was a child if you were too young to buy cards you made them: if we had hd the equivalent of £5 a week we would have bought them if we didn't want to make. Never did the other parent buy it for me/my friends.

The idea here is that its recognising the importnance of the person in your life: that involves some small sacrifice represening the worth of that peron to you. If I were parent a made card would be what I'd want for a gift.

BTW: I think its great to here of kids working for their pocket money, good for you! I suppose if he's diligent what I see is generous is well earned so it seems a good deal for you and him.