buying christmas presents for a new baby - inlaws

memelalou

i know christmas is a while away but need some advice...
im due to have my first child in november, i found out i was pregnant not long after i was made redundant and since i'm doing a 'study at home course', my husband works full time.
So of course with only one of us working after buying baby essentials we won't have a lot of money to buy a lot of christmas presents for the baby.
my family said a baby won't remember christmas any way and buying lots of toys and clothes they will grow out of in a few weeks/months is just a waste of money.
i quite agree with this and was just planning on getting a few keepsakes like a money box and a couple of outfits.
After visiting my mother in law yesterday, i was very suprised at what she's already brought the baby for christmas, there was a small rocking horse and about two bin liners full of outfits, keep sakes and toys, some of these are very expensive like the rocking horse which i know cost over £100.
we already have agreed to spent christmas with them, and even though i know the baby wont remember about the presents, i will.
Maybe its just all the hormones, but i feel like my husbands and my presents will look pathetic in comparason and i'm a bit miffed because the money they have spent on christmas presents could of be better spend on things the baby will need or a donation for a bank account for baby.
we haven't yet brought the baby items like the cot or buggy yet and me and my husband agree that it's our baby so noone else is responsible for providing for her with this but they know we are on a tight budget so i do feel like if they are going to spend so much money it be more helpful on going towards the more expensive things the baby will need, but then i feel selfish because it is their money.

am i just being a silly hormonal woman or would this bother you too?

thanks:o

PS - when we told them we was expecting - they told us not to expect them to be helping us, but as i said above we was okay about it because it was our choice to have a baby not theres.

Kaz2904

It would (did and still does) bother me. Nothing you can do about it though I'm afraid so you just have to bite your tongue.

money_maker_3

My DD is a November baby and I can honestly say that 1st christmas was a waste of money on everyones part !!!!! At less than 8 weeks old, they dont need anything but your love and cuddles
I would get your OH to have a chat with his parents as they are going to seriously go overboard if they have already started !!

And good luck

Somnium

I feel like this already and we are only at the trying stage. MIL has promised us all sorts allready, I suppose on the plus side she plans to buy things with us and not just go out and get them. They want whats best though and are probably just excited and not thinking straight.

One thing that did strike me as odd was that they have bought a rocking horse for a 1month old!

got-it-spend-it

I'm having a November baby too and expect all the 'Baby's First Christmas' teddies etc but really hope no-one goes overboard. The most useful things they could buy would be clothes and nappies!

At the end of the day it is their money, but if I was your OH I would have a tactful work and suggest that there are a few things you could suggest for Christmas if they really want to get baby anything.

Evansangel

I feel like this and we're also at the TTC stage. When i was pregnant before my mc, OH's parents said they would buy us a pram, and my dad said he would get us a cot and a private scan etc. And my mum doesn;t have much money so i said she could get a moses basket if she wanted to and it all ended in my mum getting jeaouls that i was "letting" everyone else get the good things.

Maybe if you could get your OH to mention this to his mum and see what she says? Or failing that, ebay it all and buy what you need xx

RoxieW

Get used to large, garish, plastic, inappropriate gifts from grandparents that take over your house. That said, my MIL has got the mention now and tends to ask me what to buy for them. My Dad on the other hand favours quantity over quality and they get sacks of tat for xmas (and I mean tat - ie think pound shop type toys). I tend to save most of it for the umpteen birthday parties they get invited to through out the year.
At the end of the day be thankful that people want to spoil your little one. Far far worse is an uninterested grandparent. Anything that you feel really strongly about ie I said No to a bouncy castle for the garden - put your foot down but dont sweat the small stuff. If its something you dont like or wont use, regift, return or ebay it.

tattoed_bum

could you ask her nicely if she could keep the bigger things like the rocking horse for there first birthday or next christmas ,
as the little one wont be old enough to appreciate it yet .

i know it's hard but at least you have someone who is willing to try and get something for your baby , my mil isnt what you would call a generous person when it comes to my ds

skintchick

I'd just say thank you graciously. If they want to spend the money then that's nice. I wish my in-laws were excited about our baby!

Dont; say anything to her as you'll upset her and for what? I know we Pg women get hormonal but try not to let it cloud your judgement.

It is OTT but ultimately it is done for nice reasons not bad ones.

fernliebee

I know how you feel, our DD was 6 months on her first christmas and she still didn't seem bothered about much off it, except the xmas dinner of course!

We weren't going to buy her anything as we knew family would spoil her and she wouldn't remember it, but right near the day DH cracked and said he wanted to get her something so we got her some duplo (as DH wanted to play with it ) and a charm bracelet with a charm for her birth, and one for her first xmas- as this is silver it only cost £30 inc PP.

Just a thought but re feeling like you haven't got much, could you not just say you are only buying a few gifts but will put money (undisclosed figure ) into their trust fund. TBH as a mummy you will prob feel a bit oversensitive about it (we're like that us mums ), but just think of the positives of having grandparents who can and do dote on your LO. Also as LO isn't born yet all their excitement is being focused on buying things for them, once baby is born it will even out.

Congrats BTW!

Janepig

As afew posters have already said, get used to it!!! My inlaws always just go ahead and buy stuff without asking whereas my dad never gets anything without checking with me, and often gets me to buy whatever I want to get for DD and DS and he pays. The worst was afew years ago just after I'd had my garden turfed and looking lovely, the inlaws, off their own back, decided to buy DD a huge swingset with a swing and slide. Despite the fact we live opposite a park :rolleyes:. I was fuming but said nothing and now have a monstrosity in my garden. And will DH say anything to them? Not on your life.

I know it's nice that they take an interest in their grandchildren, but I'd really rather they didn't bother buying all this stuff that just clutters up my house - although with alot of it I just suggest that MIL keeps it in her house for when they go up there, and clutter her pristine abode up a bit!!

Jxx