I feel invisible at work.....

Jokaty82

I know to some this will be very petty, but everyone has their problems. What is small to some, is big to others.

I have been in my role over a year now, and nothing has changed. I don't really get on with my boss, and my team are not exactly the friendliest.

I sometimes feel invisible, very much like a spare part. In my team of 6 we are split in 2, 4 on one mini team, then me and my boss. I don't think he likes me, we have never really 'gelled'. He is very reluctant to pass on any projects as he is passionate about what we do, but which means I get left with the dregs, or am left very un-busy which leaves me a little brain dead.

I often don't get spoken to, he has never shown any real interest in me or my life, and generally I feel a hindrence to him, yet I shouldnt. I am very capable at what I do and am not utilised enough.

Anyway the latest blow is that everyone in the team gets a cake and card for their birthday. I was away last week for my birthday, however he knew it was my birthday as he emailed me while I was away stating this fact (pleasantries before leaving me work), I haven't received any cake or card. I know this is petty, normally I wouldn't be bothered, just think it had slipped their mind. But it just adds to me feeling pretty worthless and 'invisible'.

I am trying to change roles by going for internal positions, but these are very sought after.

I don't want to feel miserable at work! I am here too much to be like this.

Silverbird

I've got to say that being in the midst of some major dramas and back-stabbing myself at the moment (not involving me but my colleagues), I would much prefer to be ignored and left to get on with it! Being friends with colleagues isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

It sounds like your colleagues aren't the jolliest, happiest, friendliest bunch anyway and at the end of the day you only have to work with these people - you don't have to befriend them.

However, I do completely understand your point about not having enough work/being utilised and I can certainly see why that would be leaving you feeling down in the dumps and 'brain dead'. It would me too. Unfortunately if your boss hasn't picked up on this then it's up to you to do so. You'll need to go and talk to him and ask for more work. Who knows, by asking him and showing what you can do perhaps he will open up a bit more and you'll have a better working relationship.

Perhaps try to involve yourself a bit more with your colleagues as well, if you feel this is something you need/want. It's not all down to them and if you make the effort to chat or find out about them then they are likely to do the same.

Jokaty82

I have approached him about the work thing.....twice. And also my higher boss, all with promises of great things which have never really happened!

The problem is they have all moved for this job, so spend every waking moment with each other, they all house share with diff members of the team, they socialise out of hours, weekends. Because I come from round here I have my own friend set and so don't do that much. I am lucky, I have 2 girls here which I get on with, but are not directly in my team.

Its more that they are very 'clicky' and I am ignored. I mean feeling left out on your birthday when you are expected to make a big fuss over someone else is pretty hard.

It feels personal, but I am sure it isn't!

robbiecaratiger

As you say, you spend too much time at work to worry about being happy there. I don't really like my job all THAT much, but it's the people I work with (team of 3 of us) that makes it so worthwhile.

Been unhappy with my previous company - so I left.

glossgal

Some offices are just like this unfortunately and if it wasn't you on the receiving end it would be someone else, think of it that way. Personally I like to keep myself to myself at work-I like a natter and bit of chit chat but I don't have any desire to be in a clique. I also rarely go on leaving doo's etc which I'm sure doesn't go unoticed but I don't care, I have my own social life. Some people are threatened by people who have no desire to please them, sounds like this bunch are far too cosy and can't handle your lack of brown -nosing? Tough! their problem not yours.

On the work front, it sounds flippant but can you look for another job in a different company? workplace cultures are so ingrained it's a very lucky employee who can come in and change things on their own, 99% of the time you will be flogging a very dead horse. If you have confidence in your ability then take comfort in that and move somewhere it will be appreciated.

JOANNESAPHINE

I totally sympathise with your situation and have been there, still am but not as bad as it was. If the people are like that are they really people you would want to be friends with anyway? Lots of people have said to me its only work just go in do your job and come home but it does upset you and grind you down. I ended up on anti-depressants because of it last year so please don't let it happen to you. I have at times felt like I've gone in to work and gone home again and barely anyone has spoken to me all day and I have felt totally invisible. Is there any chance you could change your job at all?

celyn90

Jokaty82 wrote: »

I know to some this will be very petty, but everyone has their problems. What is small to some, is big to others.

I have been in my role over a year now, and nothing has changed. I don't really get on with my boss, and my team are not exactly the friendliest.

I sometimes feel invisible, very much like a spare part. In my team of 6 we are split in 2, 4 on one mini team, then me and my boss. I don't think he likes me, we have never really 'gelled'. He is very reluctant to pass on any projects as he is passionate about what we do, but which means I get left with the dregs, or am left very un-busy which leaves me a little brain dead.

Not defending him, but quite honestly it is probably more a reflection of him than you. I have worked for a fair few control freaks in my time who were very protective about their pet projects and didn't really appreciate that I was employed to help - and would have been the same with anyone. Some people don't ever gel and your collegues don't have to like you to work with you, they just have to get on professionally with the task in hand. Of course it's nice if everybody does get on, but in reality you will always chance working with people that you don't like. If you are short of work, hassle him for something to do or see if you can create work.

I often don't get spoken to, he has never shown any real interest in me or my life, and generally I feel a hindrence to him, yet I shouldnt. I am very capable at what I do and am not utilised enough.

In a work environment I don't expect my boss to know about me or my life - if fact I would think it very weird if they did the whole social chat thing. I am not intrested in his life outside work and he isn't intrested in mine. It's a work environment at the end of the day and although I've made many friends at work, some people will always be collegues and these have very different boundaries.

Anyway the latest blow is that everyone in the team gets a cake and card for their birthday. I was away last week for my birthday, however he knew it was my birthday as he emailed me while I was away stating this fact (pleasantries before leaving me work), I haven't received any cake or card. I know this is petty, normally I wouldn't be bothered, just think it had slipped their mind. But it just adds to me feeling pretty worthless and 'invisible'.

This isn't nice and I'm really sorry that you felt this way. Is it normally your boss that organises this or just the rest of the team? It may be that the person who usually catlyses this just wasn't around or aware it was your birthday - or indeed thought to celebrate it if your were away. We bring in cake if our birthday is a working day, but not if it is a weekend for example. He obviously thought of you to mail you - if he hated you he wouldn't have bothered.

I am trying to change roles by going for internal positions, but these are very sought after.

At the end of the day if you are not happy in your work then you are doing the best thing in trying to move on - I really hope you find a role that's better for you.

I don't want to feel miserable at work! I am here too much to be like this.

You are doing the right thing though in trying to change it. Something will come up, best of luck.

..................................

roswell

Have you ever asked for more work ?

Jokaty82

roswell wrote: »

Have you ever asked for more work ?

Many times, as I said in previous post I have brought it up with him twice, his boss once, and another colleuge (the one who interviewed me as well), all these were on seperate occasions I might add.

All came back with promises it would be better, that there was loads to be doing etc etc then a week later it gets back to the same routine.

I am very good at 'creating work' and have done a lot of stuff off my own back, but this can only go on for so long. At the end of the day, why did they employ me if they aren't going to utilise me.

On the birthday thing - its normall the boss or the employee who organises it, so for my boss it would be down to me, me down to him, his boss down to him. Its how its always been. In our wider team there is 20, no one has been forgotten.

I hate myself for being like this. I am a strong person, a natural fighter, with real drive and ambition, just feel a bit worn down. But I am applying for an internal position tomorrow. You never know, I dont hold out much hope. Its awful having to tell boss am going for the position (have to get the go ahead), very awkward conversation to bring up!

princess_tinkerbell_3

i loathed my first job after i'd graduated from uni, my immediate manager was a snooty cow who thought she was so superior. i changed jobs within 2 months and loved my new job and got on well with my other team members.

i can understand how stressful and depressing it can be for you. look for alternative jobs with other companies also, you may have more luck??

itsarichmansworld

OMG !:eek:

When I read that I thought did I write that?

I am in the same positionI fell isolated in work and my boss doesnt value me so I have decided to leave, I am currently looking for a new job as I have never worked in a place so hostile and my boss didnt even notice I was off sick for 2 weeks..... Needless to say I was devastated but I am choosing not to stay in a enviroment that demeans my worth and intelligence.

I wonder if we work for the same company......:rotfl: